Title: Merry Christmas, Baby
Author:
beerbadFandom: Once Upon a Time
Characters: Emma & Snow
Rating: G
Word count: 1,208
Summary: Merry Christmas, fellow Oncers! Have some fluffy holiday comfort fic - because even 29-year-olds need their moms sometimes. <3 This story takes place after 2x09 “Queen of Hearts”.
Author's notes: This came to me in the shower this morning and I wrote it (freehand!) in the car on the way to my grandparents' house. I wish it were always this easy.
It was Christmas Eve and Emma couldn't sleep. Everyone had gone to bed hours ago -- Henry was tucked in on the couch; David and Mary Margaret - Charming and Snow White, she corrected herself - had kissed her on the cheek and headed off to Mary Margaret's bed; and Emma was left to her own defenses.
After she and Snow had returned from the Enchanted Forest, things had been so busy - everyone still adjusting to their new lives without the curse - that the holiday season had sneaked up on them. They hadn't even gotten a tree for the apartment, but Emma figured this was still bound to be the best Christmas she'd had.
So then why was she lying awake in bed, tears silently running down her cheeks? Emma looked out the window, the serenity of the snow falling and carpeting the town in white providing little comfort. She thought of all the Christmases she'd had as a kid, each year getting her hopes up that Santa would come and everything would be the way she imagined it, the way it was in all the movies she saw on TV. But it never was, and no matter how many times she experienced the disappointment, each year she foolishly let herself hope. Which of course just made the inevitable let-down all the worse.
Emma felt the tears running down her cheeks start to soak into her pillow, making a damp spot. As an adult she had all but ignored the holiday, hoping to avoid the painful memories that had piled up in association. And yet here she was, her impossible dream of finding her family come true at last, and she was still all alone in the dark... Emma told herself to get it together, that there was no reason to be so upset, not anymore, but the more she chastised herself the tighter her chest felt until she was gasping for breath.
Sobs overtook her body, increasing in volume as her anger at herself grew, anger that she couldn't get over all of these stupid memories and just be goddamned thankful for everything she had now. She was supposed to be happy, for fuck's sake.
Suddenly Emma heard footsteps outside her door. Cursing herself, she fisted her hands in her sheets and willed herself to be quiet. She couldn't bear the thought of Henry seeing her like this, on Christmas Eve no less...
"Emma?" Snow called, the door creaking as she slowly cracked it open. Emma breathed a small sigh of relief that she hadn't woken her son.
"What? I'm fine," Emma called out, the unevenness in her voice betraying her to the other woman.
But Snow wasn't having any of it. Emma winced, remembering how stubborn her mother was; this wasn't Mary Margaret anymore whom she could easily brush off. "What is it? What's wrong?" Snow questioned. Emma could tell Snow was trying to keep her voice even, but she could hear the worry behind it.
Emma turned away and buried her face in her pillow as Snow entered and approached the bed, knowing she had lost the battle to get herself under control in time. She felt Snow sit down on the edge of the bed, one hand coming to rest on Emma's shaking back. "Just talk to me, honey," Snow coaxed as she slowly began to rub Emma's back. "I'm not leaving you here like this. So when you're ready, let's talk."
Emma felt the emotions war within her, wanting Snow to leave but also desperately not wanting to be left alone again. She raised her head from the pillow slightly, just enough to get her words out. "It's just so stupid!" she managed between sobs, still unable to catch her breath. "I just... I just..." Emma tried, not knowing how she could possibly explain to Snow everything she was feeling.
"Is it the holiday?" Snow guessed, tentative. "The holidays can be hard for a lot of people, and I can only imagine for you..." She trailed off, but Snow's voice was soft and gentle.
"It's not just that," Emma offered. "I should feel good, but I feel..." she sniffled, searching for the words. Snow waited patiently, continuing to stroke Emma's back.
"Scared," Emma admitted at last, face buried once again in her pillow. "What if something happens, what if Hook and Cora -- If I lost everything, everyone, I... I can't let myself..." Emma gripped her sheets as tight as she could, letting the truth slip out.
Snow's hand stopped moving. "Oh, Emma. You said it yourself; love isn't weakness, it's strength." She smoothed Emma's hair out of her face, tucking it behind her ear. "Look at me," Snow urged.
Emma turned onto her side. Her sobbing had subsided, but tears still ran freely down her cheeks. "You're safe. We're all safe," Snow said, looking into her glassy eyes. "And if they come, we'll fight them together. Remember, good always wins," she finished with a wink.
Emma smiled at that, Snow reaching down to wipe away her tears. "Now, scoot over. I'm thinking you need a good story to help get your mind off all this, and I've got just the one."
As Snow climbed under the covers with her, Emma couldn't help but breathe a shaky sigh of relief that she wouldn't have to be alone anymore tonight, even if it made her feel childish. She snuggled into Snow's arms, surprised at now natural it felt. Or maybe she was just too exhausted to fight it. Snow held her tightly, and Emma finally felt herself begin to relax.
"Since it's Christmas, I want to tell you the story of a baby, a baby who was destined to do great things but had to live a hard life," Snow began, bringing a hand up to run her fingers through Emma's blond hair.
"Jesus?" Emma guessed, looking up at her.
"No," Snow laughed, "but this baby was also a savior.
"I only held you in my arms for a moment after you were born, before your father took you to the wardrobe. The curse was almost upon us, but it was hard to even care when all I wanted was to keep you."
Emma stared at Snow, entranced by the story of her own birth. "Close your eyes, baby," Snow said in a quiet voice.
Emma did as she was told, letting the soothing sound of her mother's voice lull her close to sleep. Her head was resting on Snow's chest, and she felt it gently rise and fall as Snow continued to tell the tale.
"... and even though sending you away was the hardest thing I've ever had to do, I had absolute trust and faith in you, that you would find us again. And you did, and you saved us all."
Emma was barely still conscious, but just awake enough to feel Snow lean down and kiss her forehead. "I loved that little baby more than anything, but oh, Emma, I love everything about you, I love you exactly the way you are, I love who you are, and you will never be alone again."
Emma could hear the emotion evident in Snow's voice. "Merry Christmas, Mom," she whispered, and fell into a deep sleep.