Comments | beenthroughthat: 1254 Thunder Road, Sunday Late Afternoon

beenthroughthat

1254 Thunder Road, Sunday Late Afternoon

Sep 23, 2007 14:10

Sam was a fan of quiet Sundays, not having had many of those except in the offseason for years. The only downside to quiet Sundays spent at home though, was that there wasn't much to watch on TV except for sports, and at this point he thought he might try to put the remote through the screen if he had to flip past one more football or -- gods ( Read more... )

y helo thar trauma, cally, phoebe, omgwtf, wtf not a robot...am i?, 1254 thunder road

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sleepswthdemons September 24 2007, 22:03:35 UTC

"Dammit," Sam slurred as he took the bottle from her and tossed back a gulp. "Told 'im not to hurt you. Keep it that way, 'kay? You an' me, we've both lost enough already."

Phoebe shook her head. "He didn't hurt me, Anders. I'm right here, with you. Where want to be." She took the bottle back for a drink. "Lost more'n enough, sweetie."

She blinked back tears and took another long drink.

beenthroughthat September 24 2007, 22:07:03 UTC

"More'n you told me 'bout?" asked Sam. He dropped his burned out cigarette butt -- he'd remember to finish smoking the damned things eventually -- in the ashtray and ran his fingers through Phoebe's hair. "Tell me. 'm always here for you. Always gonna be. Love you, and I wanna help."

sleepswthdemons September 24 2007, 22:30:09 UTC

Phoebe took another very long drink from the bottle and then lit up a cigarette -- it took her a few tries to do so -- before looking at him with tears in her eyes.

"If I tell you what I did and how I failed him twice, you'll hate me, too. Jus' like he does."

beenthroughthat September 24 2007, 22:35:37 UTC

"Could never hate you," Sam said, the strength of the emotion making his words clearer. He sat up and looked into her eyes. "Listen t'me, Phoebe. Could never, ever hate you. D'you get that? I'm here for you. Always. Love you. Talk to me . . . I know you."

sleepswthdemons September 24 2007, 23:14:30 UTC

A tear slid down her cheek as she looked at him. "I don't want both of you to hate me. I can't deal with it, Anders. Not from both of you."

beenthroughthat September 24 2007, 23:17:39 UTC

"Never going to hate you. I swear it." Sam reached beneath his shirt and pulled out the pendant she had given him years ago. "I promised, an' I'm not breaking it. Hate seeing you hurting like this. Talk to me, please? Please?"

sleepswthdemons September 24 2007, 23:28:40 UTC

Phoebe saw the pendant and her eyes filled with tears even more as she reached out to touch it. "You still... you kept wearing it... all of this time...? You still loved us that much..."

Phoebe hunched her shoulders as she sat there. She took a long drink and then took a drag off the cigarette.

"A baby. There was a baby... our baby..."

beenthroughthat September 24 2007, 23:34:40 UTC

He held his left wrist up so she could see the glint of the cuff bracelet Cole had given him. "All this time. Always . . . a baby? oh gods, Phoebe." He reached out and pulled her into a tight, fierce hug.

He'd never forgotten the little girl who might have belonged to the two of them in a different reality, and there hadn't been a year, even after they'd lost touch, when he hadn't remembered Pandora's birthday. To know that she'd never exist in this reality had been hard enough, but for Phoebe to lose a child in this reality . . .

"You didn't fail, love," he murmured, alcohol and overwhelming emotion letting the endearment slip out unchecked. "It wasn't your fault."

sleepswthdemons September 24 2007, 23:55:57 UTC

Phoebe shook her head. "You don't understand, Anders... after we vanquished... after I killed... after Cole... " She was shaking and she dropped the cigarette.

"She took him, Anders. She took my son... I didn't stop her. I failed Cole... twice... I couldn't stop her from taking our son..."

beenthroughthat September 25 2007, 00:01:40 UTC

Sam managed to snag the cigarette before it burned too much of a hole in the couch, and set it in the ashtray; neither of them was in the mood to smoke it, he suspected.

"Who took him?" he asked, his teeth clenched. Who do I have to go after to make up for the way I failed both of you by not being there?

sleepswthdemons September 25 2007, 00:17:02 UTC

Phoebe was shaking badly. "The Seer... she kidnapped me... wanted The Source to be reborn in my son." She took a drink from the bottle. "She cast a spell on me and... when she kidnapped me... she took my baby and I didn't even fight her... I didn't even fight her!"

beenthroughthat September 25 2007, 00:53:58 UTC

Sam held her closer, trying to ease her pain the only way he knew how. "But you didn't know at the time, did you?"

sleepswthdemons September 25 2007, 08:52:07 UTC

"Know what?"

beenthroughthat September 25 2007, 10:42:29 UTC

He was too drunk to really understand what he was saying to her.

"Know, know . . . didn't know what she was doin', right?"

sleepswthdemons September 25 2007, 20:01:00 UTC

Phoebe whimpered and drank more. "I could feel everything she was doing... but I wasn't able to fight back..."

beenthroughthat September 25 2007, 20:05:38 UTC

"Then 's not your fault." Sam cradled her head against his shoulder and started rocking her in his arms. "Don't blame yourself, love."

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