life
Boy managing and adhering to a budget is so difficult! This being my first year of doing so, I feel I'm doing very very well.
I recently have been thinking about what we naturally do when someone stiffs us or doesn't hang out with us as much as we like. I think most people take it as a snub or a rejection and contact them even less. So as a result of a missed appt or contact, we miss appts or contact the other person less. So in an effort to 'hurt' those that we feel did us wrong we do the same in return and the vicious cycle starts anew!
I miss most of my friends but we all have such vastly different interests now that it's hard to find things to do together. Differences of personality/friendship:
1. Almost all of them have wildly different financial goals and are far more interested in spending money going out on a regular basis. Wether it be movies, drinking, dinners, or whatever. I on the other hand with approx 150k in debt with house, educational loans, a credit card, a Line of credit, a car I'd like to have rebuilt and a bike that needs some maintanence, would rather work on my damned debt and save money at all available instances.
2. Travel - As most of you may know which house you actually spend time at is a huge deal between friends. Driving to another persons house and hanging out is a major deal for most the people I know, I guess as much as I hate to admit it myself included. If it's a long drive and none of our respective things/toys will be there, we're very much less willing to venture out there.
3. Relative social size preferences - This is a huge one for me as most of my friends wants to hang out with a minimum of 5 people at once or out in public around random strangers. I on the other hand prefer about a 4 person max in the comfort of a home or non public places.
4. Old issues never settled: This one is mostly for men but as it appears the female friends in my life seem to be the same way it applies to them. Burying the hatchet just never happens. Men don't like to talk out issues with each other. Communication is rare. When it's there and great, we're usually talking about life issues that isn't between us.
5. Significant others: No matter how great the friendships are, the chances that 4 people will enjoy spending time together is nearly as likely as me to be thinking what einstein is. A friend and his gf will not like nor make very much effort to spend great deals of time with me and my gf doing what we like to do. It's just not realistic to find 4 people that are in a very close relationship together that all want to do the same thing and try to orient schedules and events around each other.
6. The costs of hobbies: Wether it's golf, gaming, motorcycles, car racing, home maintanence or whatever else. The costs are so prohibitive of adult hobbies that it drives even further down the chances 2 to 4 people will want to do the same thing at the same time.
7. 3rd or 5th wheel: I am in a relationship. this makes a friend going out with us sometimes a 3rd wheel, or just focuses them on the fact they aren't with someone at the time. Being in a relationship when a friend isn't makes you able/desire to hang out less and vice versa.
8. Work/school schedules: Most of my friends are in corporate jobs that ask for weekend trips and/or overtime on normal days. I don't make enough money to fund my lifestyle and thus go to school in hopes of having a skillset to fall back on or a leap from call centers to make. Weekly schedules are so difficult to balance between the gf, school, work, and housework/responsibilities.
I imagine apparent lack of what teenagers consider friendships compared to adult friendships is what makes so many rebel and try to be different than their parents. Their parents up to that point have not told them off all the bad things, rebellious things, or different things they did when they were children. So when the kids do that and their parents say we did that, the children shrug it off as a failed attempt at being different and resent the parents. children desperately seek at that age to prove to themselves and everyone else that they won't be like their parents and are on their own path to individuality. To whatever degree they fail or succeed I believe they will wind up in this same place with regard to friendships. Having not quite the same friendships that were when you were a teen.
I recently have been thinking about what we naturally do when someone stiffs us or doesn't hang out with us as much as we like. I think most people take it as a snub or a rejection and contact them even less. So as a result of a missed appt or contact, we miss appts or contact the other person less. So in an effort to 'hurt' those that we feel did us wrong we do the same in return and the vicious cycle starts anew!
I miss most of my friends but we all have such vastly different interests now that it's hard to find things to do together. Differences of personality/friendship:
1. Almost all of them have wildly different financial goals and are far more interested in spending money going out on a regular basis. Wether it be movies, drinking, dinners, or whatever. I on the other hand with approx 150k in debt with house, educational loans, a credit card, a Line of credit, a car I'd like to have rebuilt and a bike that needs some maintanence, would rather work on my damned debt and save money at all available instances.
2. Travel - As most of you may know which house you actually spend time at is a huge deal between friends. Driving to another persons house and hanging out is a major deal for most the people I know, I guess as much as I hate to admit it myself included. If it's a long drive and none of our respective things/toys will be there, we're very much less willing to venture out there.
3. Relative social size preferences - This is a huge one for me as most of my friends wants to hang out with a minimum of 5 people at once or out in public around random strangers. I on the other hand prefer about a 4 person max in the comfort of a home or non public places.
4. Old issues never settled: This one is mostly for men but as it appears the female friends in my life seem to be the same way it applies to them. Burying the hatchet just never happens. Men don't like to talk out issues with each other. Communication is rare. When it's there and great, we're usually talking about life issues that isn't between us.
5. Significant others: No matter how great the friendships are, the chances that 4 people will enjoy spending time together is nearly as likely as me to be thinking what einstein is. A friend and his gf will not like nor make very much effort to spend great deals of time with me and my gf doing what we like to do. It's just not realistic to find 4 people that are in a very close relationship together that all want to do the same thing and try to orient schedules and events around each other.
6. The costs of hobbies: Wether it's golf, gaming, motorcycles, car racing, home maintanence or whatever else. The costs are so prohibitive of adult hobbies that it drives even further down the chances 2 to 4 people will want to do the same thing at the same time.
7. 3rd or 5th wheel: I am in a relationship. this makes a friend going out with us sometimes a 3rd wheel, or just focuses them on the fact they aren't with someone at the time. Being in a relationship when a friend isn't makes you able/desire to hang out less and vice versa.
8. Work/school schedules: Most of my friends are in corporate jobs that ask for weekend trips and/or overtime on normal days. I don't make enough money to fund my lifestyle and thus go to school in hopes of having a skillset to fall back on or a leap from call centers to make. Weekly schedules are so difficult to balance between the gf, school, work, and housework/responsibilities.
I imagine apparent lack of what teenagers consider friendships compared to adult friendships is what makes so many rebel and try to be different than their parents. Their parents up to that point have not told them off all the bad things, rebellious things, or different things they did when they were children. So when the kids do that and their parents say we did that, the children shrug it off as a failed attempt at being different and resent the parents. children desperately seek at that age to prove to themselves and everyone else that they won't be like their parents and are on their own path to individuality. To whatever degree they fail or succeed I believe they will wind up in this same place with regard to friendships. Having not quite the same friendships that were when you were a teen.