(no subject)
This is a bad week.
I'm upset.
I'll never be a good enough student, daughter or friend to satisfy everyone.
I always feel like I need to be happy. because if I'm not, people freak out and then I have to explain everything.
And lately I don't like talking. By talking I mean venting.
Maybe it's cuz I don't like being a burden? I love helping people more than anything but I hate being dependent.
which totally contradicts my personality because I'm incredibly dependent by nature.
I don't like when ppl expect the world out of me, but offer me nothing in return.
I don't like it when people are hypocritical. even though I am sometimes.
I hate being the one who faces the consequences of other peoples' actions.
I hate feeling like a screw-up...
I hate watching people I care about screw up. (hence, hypocricy, a perfect example)
2 of my favorite ppl really pissed me off today. and its pretty hard to actually make me mad.
And then in history 2 guys overheard me telling my friend something and started shouting out stuff about my personal life to the teacher and the entire class. great.
I can't tell if i like the Bridget from a year ago better or the Bridget now better. They're pretty different.
boys.are.confusing. especially when mixed with my emotional/flirtatious/nervous tendencies. that made absolutely no sense. hence the confusion.
Mostly I hate bitching and complaining. that was hella me being my own worst enemy!!
But I haven't for a LONG time. so that felt oddly relieving.
I'm sooo sorry if you read that. I just needed 2 say it. to myself.