i=all this
In brief:
Working my ass off as a waitress;
Losing a lot of weight, not on purpose;
Went to dentist appointment today (first time in three plus years) in the same neighbourhood where we used to go to the supermarket when I was 6 months to seven years old. My grandmother who died last spring would take me there in her big tan Oldsmobile, wearing her long camel hair coat, with her long straight hair she had, white or dyed blond, before she got cancer and it grew back all weird; or my dad would take me in his little grey car, or we would walk, on the street above the Mass Pike, and we'd sing songs from my 1950s mix tapes, and make jokes. (I have no memories of being there with my mother.) It was also the neighbourhood where I bought the first thing I saved up for with my own money (my allowance) - a teddy bear with a pink satin and tulle ballet outfit. I saw her in the toyshop with my dad, and he made a deal with me, and I saved up, and then I had her. It was so good.
Starting to teach SAT prep to seven teenagers out in Arlington;
Thinking about my three remaining grandparents a lot; considering staying with paternal grandfather for a few days while his much younger wife is out of town, if I can get off work;
Re-learning the reality of this place, the intersection of "America" and the specifics of New England and of the Boston area; remembering and also learning anew what Boston is about;
Really poor; but maybe less so than I expected;
Running into relatives as I cross Harvard Yard on my way home;
And more;
Only occasionally overwhelmed.
Working my ass off as a waitress;
Losing a lot of weight, not on purpose;
Went to dentist appointment today (first time in three plus years) in the same neighbourhood where we used to go to the supermarket when I was 6 months to seven years old. My grandmother who died last spring would take me there in her big tan Oldsmobile, wearing her long camel hair coat, with her long straight hair she had, white or dyed blond, before she got cancer and it grew back all weird; or my dad would take me in his little grey car, or we would walk, on the street above the Mass Pike, and we'd sing songs from my 1950s mix tapes, and make jokes. (I have no memories of being there with my mother.) It was also the neighbourhood where I bought the first thing I saved up for with my own money (my allowance) - a teddy bear with a pink satin and tulle ballet outfit. I saw her in the toyshop with my dad, and he made a deal with me, and I saved up, and then I had her. It was so good.
Starting to teach SAT prep to seven teenagers out in Arlington;
Thinking about my three remaining grandparents a lot; considering staying with paternal grandfather for a few days while his much younger wife is out of town, if I can get off work;
Re-learning the reality of this place, the intersection of "America" and the specifics of New England and of the Boston area; remembering and also learning anew what Boston is about;
Really poor; but maybe less so than I expected;
Running into relatives as I cross Harvard Yard on my way home;
And more;
Only occasionally overwhelmed.