Fic: The One with the Blind Dates [1/2]
Title: The One with the Blind Dates [1/2]
Author: beef_wonder3
Fandom: Smallville
Pairings/Characters: Clois/ Clark, Lois, Chloe & Kara.
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: None
Warnings: Future-fic, a few bad words
For: svgurl
Prompt: Blind Date
Words: 4344 in total
Disclaimer: Smallville belongs to Almiles and the CW, Friends belongs to David Crane & Marta Kauffman and NBC.
A/N: This came about because the very day before I recieved this prompt I had watched the episode of Friends with the same name. I'm really proud of how this turned out as well.
Summery: Lois & Clark have broken up. Now they want Chloe and Kara to set them up with other people.
*
Kara plopped down on a barstool with a huff. Chloe followed suit, nabbing the stool next to her. The Ace of Clubs thrived with the after-work drinks crowd. After two terse orders for the bartender, the two blondes looked at each other glumly.
“This is ridiculous. No, correction, they’re ridiculous.” Kara complained, “It’s just not… you know, right!”
“I know,” Chloe agreed, “Everything’s felt a little off balance since Lois & Clark broke up. And neither one of them will talk about it.”
As the bartender returned with their drinks, Chloe sighed out,
“And it’s gonna get worse.”
“Worse? How?” Kara asked.
Chloe explained,
“Lois asked me if I knew anyone I could set her up with. I said I’d see. I mean what was I supposed to say?”
“I know. Clark said that she asked you that.”
Chloe bit her lip,
“Do you think I shouldn’t have told him?
“No.” Kara replied “I think it’s better than it being a surprise but I know what you mean.” Sipping her drink, Kara continued, “At first I thought he was just go on and on and then mope for a good long while. You know the way he does.”
Chloe nodded along with an eye-roll.
“But then,” Kara went on, “He really threw me for a loop and asked if I knew anyone I could set him up with! I think he’s only doing it because Lois is dating again so soon and it hurts but he refuses to say something.”
Chloe sighed and said,
“They’re both as stubborn as each other. If only they could see how good they were together. It took them forever to get there, but they were working out so well. And now they wanna start dating? Don’t they remember how difficult getting out there and dating is? I mean, really?”
Kara suddenly lit up,
“I know! Why don’t we set them up on those dates?”
“Yeah, that’ll get them back together for sure.” Chloe said sarcastically.
“No, listen,” Kara said, getting excited, “We set them up, but with people that they’ll have nothing in common with. The date’s will be so bad and they’ll remember exactly why dating is so hard and go running back to each other.” Kara finished triumphantly with a proud look.
Chloe pondered this for a moment.
“You know,” She said slowly, “That actually is a good idea. Once they do remember how awful the dating game is, they’ll see that they belong together.”
“Great idea, huh?” Kara grinned smugly into her drink.
“Okay,” Chloe started to plot, “here’s the plan. You go and find the most incompatible person for Clark and set up the date. I’ll do the same for Lois.”
“Sounds good to me.” Said Kara “When do we meet to compare?”
Chloe checked her diary.
“I’m free tomorrow at 4. Let’s meet up at that café on the West side, you know the one?”
“Yeah, I know it, but why so far away?” Kara asked.
“So Clark doesn’t hear us plotting.” Chloe said in conspiring whisper.
“Oooh,” Kara breathed out in understanding, “Okay, we better get cracking. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
Both women left the bar each thinking of the worst match for her cousin.
*
Not too far away, the Daily Planet bullpen was just as noisy as the Ace of Clubs. The click-clack of keyboards, reporters yelling into their phones and at each other, Perry White, Editor in Chief, bellowing about deadlines and headlines. Again.
Out of all that noise, none of it compared to the deafening awkwardness in Lois and Clark’s cubical. Desks pushed face-to-face as always, Lois and Clark tried to work. This was about as easy as ignoring a particularly large and colorful elephant standing in the corner of the room.
“I need coffee.” Lois blurted, before grabbing her half-full and still warm coffee cup and all but racing to the kitchenette in the far corner of the bullpen. Clark abandoned his computer too and followed her.
Cornering Lois next to the coffee-maker, he spoke in a gently voice, as one would to a spooked animal,
“Hey, I thought we agreed that we weren’t gonna be weird with each other.”
“I’m not being weird, who’s being weird?” Lois replied, eyeing a way to edge around Clark’s bulky form.
“Lois.” Clark said, laced with meaning.
Lois huffed and set her cup on the counter,
“Okay, okay I’m being weird.”
“Good.” Clark said almost teasingly, “The first step is admitting to the problem.”
The tension broke and Lois relaxed, a self-deprecating twist to her lips as she looked up at Clark,
“Sorry,” she apologized, “I know I’m not making this easy. That’s not fair to you since it was my decision to… you know.”
“Hey,” Clark said, still speaking gently, “I may not like it but I understand if you have reasons for us not being together. I also wouldn’t mind if you’d like to share those reasons.” Looking at Lois, trying not to be too pushy or expectant.
Lois sighed,
“Smallville, it’s just… I…I can’t. I’m sorry.” Lois looked away.
“Hey, hey, hey” Clark repeated, softly laying gentle hands comfortingly on Lois’ upper arms. “I told you, you can take all the time you need.”
“I asked Chloe to set me up on a date with someone else.” said Lois, mouth once again running without brain input. Lois bit her lip as those warm hands fell away. Clark schooled his expression, trying not to grimace too much.
“Yeah, I heard. That’s ok, we…um… we’re not seeing each other anymore.” Clark studiously avoided eye-contact as he continued. “I asked Kara to do the same for me.”
Lois pulled herself together, pushed the welling jealousy down and said with her normal fortitude,
“Good. That’s good for both of us. It’s for the best. Just ‘cause we’re not together doesn’t mean we should sit around all depressed like. C’mon Smallville, we got work to do or Perry’ll have our head.”
With that final bluster, Lois stepped around Clark and marched back to her desk, leaving Clark watching after her.
“Yeah,” he said with a sad smile, “Great.”
*
Late the next day, Chloe and Kara met up to compare the awful dates they’d set up for their love-stupid cousins.
“Skim Cappuccino and Caramel Macchiato, thanks.” Chloe told the waitress.
“No problem, won’t be long ma’am.” Said the waitress taking down the orders.
As the waitress walked away, Kara hustled up to the table,
“Sorry I’m late. Blackgate, Explosion, you know the deal.” She explained.
“That’s okay,” Chloe replied, “I ordered for you.”
“Sweet. So, how’d the man-hunt go? Got Lois all set up?” Kara asked with a grin.
“Great. I set up the ‘perfect’ date for Lois.” Chloe replied, illustrating the air-quotes with her fingers. “How about you?”
“Clark’s all set up and he knows he’s meeting his date at that cute Italian restaurant near his place.”
Chloe giggled,
“It might be worth spying on that date just to watch Clark try not to spill marinara sauce on his shirt.” Both women giggled at the thought.
“Okay,” said Kara, “Tell me about Lois’ guy.”
Chloe started describing excitedly,
“His names Jeff something-or-other, I met him once before. He’s a client’s, friends ex or something like that. Anyway, he’s some sort of cooperate guy who thinks he’s bigger news than he actually is and quite possibly the most obnoxious, arrogant and chauvinistic man I have ever talked to. I made a reservation for them at that really pretentious French restaurant on Memorial Street. The only way this date could end remotely well is if Lois doesn’t throw her drink on him.” Chloe finished with a grin, pleased at finding the worst possible date for Lois and Kara laughed. “So, what’s Clark’s date like?”
Kara launched into her own description,
“I met this girl a couple of time. Her name’s Julia, really nice girl, she’s a humanitarian and she works at the Human Rights Office. She loves romantic comedies and she’s really into sci-fi books. She also does volunteer work with some different charities, you know, Youth hostel, help-the-homeless, things like that.”
Chloe gaped at the blonde Kryptonian.
“Are you insane?!” Chloe gasped out
“What?” Kara asked defensively.
“That’s not a bad date! She’s perfect for Clark. Hell, she’s She-Clark!”
Kara frowned,
“No, just listen. ‘She-Clark’ as you put it, is a good thing. She’s more like an Anti-Lois. Not that I’m saying Lois doesn’t care about things, because I know she does but I figured; Clark is rebounding off Lois so he’d be looking for another Lois.”
Chloe, still with a skeptical look said warily,
“Okay, fine. That… sort of makes sense I guess. Tell me more about ‘anti-Lois’.”
Mollified, Kara continued,
“So, anyway, she’s really nice, like I said, and she loves animals and outdoor activities. I think she goes rock-climbing and horse-riding on the weekends. And she’s from a small town in one of the Northern Mid-west states, I think? I can never remember which one though.”
As Kara finished talking and Chloe buried her face in her hands.
“Kara,” she groaned “You didn’t set Clark up with Anti-Lois. You set him up with Lana v.2!”
Kara’s eyes widened as Chloe pointed out her mistake.
“Oh Rao! You’re right. How did I not see that? We have to find someone else!”
“No wait,” An idea occurring to Chloe, “What’s one of the worst things about dating that’ll stamp out any delusions Clark has about it?”
Kara thought for a moment before it dawned on her,
“Being stood up?”
“That’s right.” Chloe said, “What if we tell Lana-substitute that the date’s off but not tell Clark.”
“And let Clark think he got stood up?” Kara frowned again, “Don’t you think that’s a little mean?”
“Maybe,” Chloe said, “But it might help. Clark gets stood up, remembers dating sucks and let’s say one of us lets it slip to Lois that he got stood up, she feels bad for making him date and voila! Reunion.”
“Yeah,” Kara said, still a little reluctant, “Okay, I’ll call Julia and tell her the date’s off.”
“I know this isn’t nice to Clark,” Chloe said, “I don’t like doing this to him either. And I don’t like intentionally putting Lois in an awful situation but they both need to realize they’re happier when they’re together.”
“Okay,” Kara agreed, reaching for her cell, “You’re a little insane, you know that right.”
Chloe grinned,
“I think it’s from working with Superheroes for too long. Now they’re a crazy bunch.” Chloe winked cheekily as Kara grinned back.
*
Next up… Date Night!