Glee Fic: Only one way that it was always meant to be (1/?)
Title: Only one way that it was always meant to be (1/?)
Characters/Pairing: Finn, Finn/Rachel, Puck/Rachel, mentions of various other pairings.
Rating: Eventual R.
Word Count: 1,748 this part.
Spoilers: Everything up to 2x09.
Summary: AU after 2x09. Everything was different.
A/N: This is essentially the prologue - there will be between 5-10 chapters, I am imagining, but that figure could change as the story progresses. The title of this and the song that inspired it is Kill by Jimmy Eat World. This is AU after 2x09 - the base of it being what if Finn and Rachel stayed broken up? Hope you enjoy, and because this is my first foray into Alternate Universe, I would love feedback!
“Now, I know we’ve had our dramas this week. But our families back in a happy place. And I think we should celebrate the best way we know how.”
Two Years Later.
Everything was different.
Finn was different.
It had been three hours since they had announced it. ‘And for the second consecutive year, the National Glee Club Championship goes to … New Directions!’ Three hours, and it had all accumulated to him being in this hotel, much grander than he ever thought they could afford, in this bed, with this blonde next to him. It had been three hours since they had won Nationals, and the bright lights of New York City screamed at them, because they had won and because this was finally it. Finn graduated in three weeks, the dust finally settling on their final year of school; their final year together. But everything was different.
Finn turned his head slightly and looked at Hannah Foley, the freshman who had joined Glee last year. She was sleeping, the bed sheet just barely covering her naked frame. She was beautiful. But somehow, being here right now with her, it felt like the walls of Finn’s life had crumbled. Finn almost felt as if he should punch himself for being such a girl, but after two years, the amount he had changed… He could barely even see himself anymore.
Slowly, he turned his whole body so that his legs swung over the side of the bed. He made sure not to wake Hannah. He stood up, reaching over to the chair beside the bed and grabbed his jeans, pulling them on slowly and quietly, making sure to keep as silent as he possibly could. He snatched his t-shirt off the ground on his way out, pulling it over his head and stepping out into the corridor of the hotel.
Finn glanced down the hall of the hotel, it’s walls dimly lit by the fluorescent beams above him. He could hear the others, scattered throughout their various rooms alongside his. Celebrating. He could hear them, but he had no intention of joining them. He walked down the hall, shoving his cell phone into the pocket of his jeans and mussing up his hair, listening to the yelling that was going on in the rooms. There was music, loud music, and he was sure that Santana had managed to get some form of booze snuck in from one of her more unnamed sources. He knew this, because he heard them talking about it earlier. For once, Finn wasn’t in the mood.
He reached the elevator and pressed the button to go down to the bottom level of the hotel. Ignoring the obvious loud noises behind him, his fingers grazed ‘ground level’ and he waited, alone in the lift. Finn had no idea what had brought on this feeling, this feeling of panic and loneliness. He mussed his hair again as the door sprung open, a clear indicator of his feelings. Shaking his head, annoyed at himself, he walked through the busy foyer and out the door, breathing in the cool night air.
It had to be at least midnight, but whoever it was that said New York was the city that never slept sure wasn’t kidding. There were people everywhere, the streets busy, aligned with people and bars and pubs. There were clubs and café’s and hotels and he felt entirely out of his element, which strangely enough made him feel calm. He ran his hands through his hair again, taking a few mismatched steps towards the row of seats surrounding a large garden out the front of the hotel. Or at least it was a garden, New York style. There were maybe three flowers, a whole lot of dirt and mounds of rocks spelling out the hotel’s name. Finn shook his head at it before he sunk into the seat, staring absentmindedly at the city skylights.
Everything had changed, and Finn wasn’t sure why. He imagined himself, two years ago, and who he thought he would be. Who he wanted to be. It was nothing to who he was now. He was graduating in three weeks, and he felt that he had nothing to show for it. A winning football team didn’t guarantee him a scholarship, and he figured that if he hadn’t heard by now, there was no chance of that happening. There were no music scholarships offered to him. He had applied for a couple of community colleges, the University of Ohio State and on a complete and utter whim, NYU. He knew there was no chance of him getting into NYU. His grades had improved, sure, but NYU? He had to be dreaming.
Kicking the cement beneath him with the sole of his sneaker, Finn became to be increasingly more frustrated with himself. He had no idea where this self doubt came from. He remembered it beginning when they were on stage singing during Nationals and when Mercedes beat out that last note, it finally hit him that this was it. This was it for him. The thought alone sent his mind into a spiral, and he remembered very clearly that moment. It was stupid, and it turned into one of those everything-fades-out moments, but he couldn’t help but feel incredibly apprehensive about his impending graduation.
Shaking his head, annoyed at himself, he stood up and walked back into the hotel, focusing his attention to the little café/bar that was just to the left of the foyer. He knew it couldn’t get alcohol - he could try - but anything as a distraction from him going back upstairs would serve it’s purpose. But instead, his attention turned to the small brunette who was sitting up at the bar.
“And how, may I ask, did you get that?” Finn asked her, pointing to the gin and tonic sitting in front of Rachel.
She turned, startled at his words and glared at him. “Shut up.”
He smirked slightly and pulled up the stool next to her, asking the bartender for a water.
“How very manly of you,” Rachel muttered under her breath, twirling her toothpick with an olive on the end in her drink. She stared down into the drink and Finn rolled his eyes, taking a gulp of the water that was placed in front of him.
If anything had changed in the past two years, it had been Rachel. Sometimes, he barely recognised her anymore. Gone were the days were she practically killed someone for a solo, her determination becoming an inner quality that she didn’t express quite as loudly. She still looked the same. Spoke the same. Smelt the same. But she was different.
“What do you want, Finn?” Rachel finally asked, glancing up at him from her drink.
Finn stared at her. There was a part of him that should have been shocked at the way she spoke to him. Her voice defeated, lonely and cold. But that was how she spoke to him, to most people now.
“Couldn’t sleep,” he responded, turning his attention to the glass of water in front of him. He wasn’t going to tell her the exact reason for his insomnia, he wouldn’t even tell his friend’s that. Friends. He really didn’t think he could count Rachel as a friend anymore.
She smirked and stared down into her glass before she picked up the toothpick and slipped the olive into her mouth. He didn’t want to know what she was smirking about, or why, but there was a part of him that was beginning to think that maybe coming here wasn’t such a good idea.
After a few moments of silence, Finn spoke again. “You don’t look happy.”
She continued to stare down at her drink, but he noticed that she tensed up a little. She had an unreadable expression on her face, and Finn watched her, waiting for her to respond.
“I’m peachy, Finn, really,” she said, smiling at him slightly, a smile so fake that Finn actually was taken-aback.
Again silence. It had been awhile since the two of then had spoken, just by themselves. Finn wracked his brain, attempting to think of the last time … it had been maybe six months ago? He really couldn’t remember. He also couldn’t remember it being this intense with her, this cold. He could tell that she wasn’t herself, she was different, and there was a part of her that felt the same way he was feeling right now. He wanted to talk to her about it, because maybe she would understand, but her tone made him withdraw.
“Do you think I’ve changed, Finn?” Rachel asked him softly, after a moment, and Finn stared up at her, startled. It was almost uncanny, and his mind reverted back to the first time they broke up, when he told her that he thought she was reading his mind.
“Yes,” he said simply, his fingers running along the rim of his glass. He hadn’t meant to make it sound so abrupt, but he watched as her face flinched slightly. There was something else, he was sure of it.
“You’ve changed too, you know,” she replied gently, mimicking his own distraction on her own glass. She wouldn’t look at him. He wondered why.
Finn nodded, agreeing. They had all changed. It had only been two years. But Rachel was different, harder and almost tired of everything and everybody. She was snappy, and she had somehow taken on an attitude of sarcasm that she hadn’t had when she was sixteen. At eighteen, she seemed older, darker. Sometimes Finn wondered if going back or changing things would have made a difference.
Her phone buzzed from the counter and she jerked slightly, moving her hands to the device and flipping it open. She read in silence before she closed it shut and turned to look at Finn.
“I have to go. Puck-“
“Yeah,” Finn cut her off before she had time to finish. She watched him for a moment before she took her glass and drank the remainder of her drink in one motion.
“Have a good night,” she said, picking up her purse from the counter and hopping off the stood, walking past Finn and out into the lobby.
He didn’t watch her leave.
Characters/Pairing: Finn, Finn/Rachel, Puck/Rachel, mentions of various other pairings.
Rating: Eventual R.
Word Count: 1,748 this part.
Spoilers: Everything up to 2x09.
Summary: AU after 2x09. Everything was different.
A/N: This is essentially the prologue - there will be between 5-10 chapters, I am imagining, but that figure could change as the story progresses. The title of this and the song that inspired it is Kill by Jimmy Eat World. This is AU after 2x09 - the base of it being what if Finn and Rachel stayed broken up? Hope you enjoy, and because this is my first foray into Alternate Universe, I would love feedback!
“Now, I know we’ve had our dramas this week. But our families back in a happy place. And I think we should celebrate the best way we know how.”
Two Years Later.
Everything was different.
Finn was different.
It had been three hours since they had announced it. ‘And for the second consecutive year, the National Glee Club Championship goes to … New Directions!’ Three hours, and it had all accumulated to him being in this hotel, much grander than he ever thought they could afford, in this bed, with this blonde next to him. It had been three hours since they had won Nationals, and the bright lights of New York City screamed at them, because they had won and because this was finally it. Finn graduated in three weeks, the dust finally settling on their final year of school; their final year together. But everything was different.
Finn turned his head slightly and looked at Hannah Foley, the freshman who had joined Glee last year. She was sleeping, the bed sheet just barely covering her naked frame. She was beautiful. But somehow, being here right now with her, it felt like the walls of Finn’s life had crumbled. Finn almost felt as if he should punch himself for being such a girl, but after two years, the amount he had changed… He could barely even see himself anymore.
Slowly, he turned his whole body so that his legs swung over the side of the bed. He made sure not to wake Hannah. He stood up, reaching over to the chair beside the bed and grabbed his jeans, pulling them on slowly and quietly, making sure to keep as silent as he possibly could. He snatched his t-shirt off the ground on his way out, pulling it over his head and stepping out into the corridor of the hotel.
Finn glanced down the hall of the hotel, it’s walls dimly lit by the fluorescent beams above him. He could hear the others, scattered throughout their various rooms alongside his. Celebrating. He could hear them, but he had no intention of joining them. He walked down the hall, shoving his cell phone into the pocket of his jeans and mussing up his hair, listening to the yelling that was going on in the rooms. There was music, loud music, and he was sure that Santana had managed to get some form of booze snuck in from one of her more unnamed sources. He knew this, because he heard them talking about it earlier. For once, Finn wasn’t in the mood.
He reached the elevator and pressed the button to go down to the bottom level of the hotel. Ignoring the obvious loud noises behind him, his fingers grazed ‘ground level’ and he waited, alone in the lift. Finn had no idea what had brought on this feeling, this feeling of panic and loneliness. He mussed his hair again as the door sprung open, a clear indicator of his feelings. Shaking his head, annoyed at himself, he walked through the busy foyer and out the door, breathing in the cool night air.
It had to be at least midnight, but whoever it was that said New York was the city that never slept sure wasn’t kidding. There were people everywhere, the streets busy, aligned with people and bars and pubs. There were clubs and café’s and hotels and he felt entirely out of his element, which strangely enough made him feel calm. He ran his hands through his hair again, taking a few mismatched steps towards the row of seats surrounding a large garden out the front of the hotel. Or at least it was a garden, New York style. There were maybe three flowers, a whole lot of dirt and mounds of rocks spelling out the hotel’s name. Finn shook his head at it before he sunk into the seat, staring absentmindedly at the city skylights.
Everything had changed, and Finn wasn’t sure why. He imagined himself, two years ago, and who he thought he would be. Who he wanted to be. It was nothing to who he was now. He was graduating in three weeks, and he felt that he had nothing to show for it. A winning football team didn’t guarantee him a scholarship, and he figured that if he hadn’t heard by now, there was no chance of that happening. There were no music scholarships offered to him. He had applied for a couple of community colleges, the University of Ohio State and on a complete and utter whim, NYU. He knew there was no chance of him getting into NYU. His grades had improved, sure, but NYU? He had to be dreaming.
Kicking the cement beneath him with the sole of his sneaker, Finn became to be increasingly more frustrated with himself. He had no idea where this self doubt came from. He remembered it beginning when they were on stage singing during Nationals and when Mercedes beat out that last note, it finally hit him that this was it. This was it for him. The thought alone sent his mind into a spiral, and he remembered very clearly that moment. It was stupid, and it turned into one of those everything-fades-out moments, but he couldn’t help but feel incredibly apprehensive about his impending graduation.
Shaking his head, annoyed at himself, he stood up and walked back into the hotel, focusing his attention to the little café/bar that was just to the left of the foyer. He knew it couldn’t get alcohol - he could try - but anything as a distraction from him going back upstairs would serve it’s purpose. But instead, his attention turned to the small brunette who was sitting up at the bar.
“And how, may I ask, did you get that?” Finn asked her, pointing to the gin and tonic sitting in front of Rachel.
She turned, startled at his words and glared at him. “Shut up.”
He smirked slightly and pulled up the stool next to her, asking the bartender for a water.
“How very manly of you,” Rachel muttered under her breath, twirling her toothpick with an olive on the end in her drink. She stared down into the drink and Finn rolled his eyes, taking a gulp of the water that was placed in front of him.
If anything had changed in the past two years, it had been Rachel. Sometimes, he barely recognised her anymore. Gone were the days were she practically killed someone for a solo, her determination becoming an inner quality that she didn’t express quite as loudly. She still looked the same. Spoke the same. Smelt the same. But she was different.
“What do you want, Finn?” Rachel finally asked, glancing up at him from her drink.
Finn stared at her. There was a part of him that should have been shocked at the way she spoke to him. Her voice defeated, lonely and cold. But that was how she spoke to him, to most people now.
“Couldn’t sleep,” he responded, turning his attention to the glass of water in front of him. He wasn’t going to tell her the exact reason for his insomnia, he wouldn’t even tell his friend’s that. Friends. He really didn’t think he could count Rachel as a friend anymore.
She smirked and stared down into her glass before she picked up the toothpick and slipped the olive into her mouth. He didn’t want to know what she was smirking about, or why, but there was a part of him that was beginning to think that maybe coming here wasn’t such a good idea.
After a few moments of silence, Finn spoke again. “You don’t look happy.”
She continued to stare down at her drink, but he noticed that she tensed up a little. She had an unreadable expression on her face, and Finn watched her, waiting for her to respond.
“I’m peachy, Finn, really,” she said, smiling at him slightly, a smile so fake that Finn actually was taken-aback.
Again silence. It had been awhile since the two of then had spoken, just by themselves. Finn wracked his brain, attempting to think of the last time … it had been maybe six months ago? He really couldn’t remember. He also couldn’t remember it being this intense with her, this cold. He could tell that she wasn’t herself, she was different, and there was a part of her that felt the same way he was feeling right now. He wanted to talk to her about it, because maybe she would understand, but her tone made him withdraw.
“Do you think I’ve changed, Finn?” Rachel asked him softly, after a moment, and Finn stared up at her, startled. It was almost uncanny, and his mind reverted back to the first time they broke up, when he told her that he thought she was reading his mind.
“Yes,” he said simply, his fingers running along the rim of his glass. He hadn’t meant to make it sound so abrupt, but he watched as her face flinched slightly. There was something else, he was sure of it.
“You’ve changed too, you know,” she replied gently, mimicking his own distraction on her own glass. She wouldn’t look at him. He wondered why.
Finn nodded, agreeing. They had all changed. It had only been two years. But Rachel was different, harder and almost tired of everything and everybody. She was snappy, and she had somehow taken on an attitude of sarcasm that she hadn’t had when she was sixteen. At eighteen, she seemed older, darker. Sometimes Finn wondered if going back or changing things would have made a difference.
Her phone buzzed from the counter and she jerked slightly, moving her hands to the device and flipping it open. She read in silence before she closed it shut and turned to look at Finn.
“I have to go. Puck-“
“Yeah,” Finn cut her off before she had time to finish. She watched him for a moment before she took her glass and drank the remainder of her drink in one motion.
“Have a good night,” she said, picking up her purse from the counter and hopping off the stood, walking past Finn and out into the lobby.
He didn’t watch her leave.