just here
today i have done absolutley nothing. i wish someone would call or come over but erin is at a volleyball tourn and i dunno im just lazy. i have been on the com most of the day tryng to get a backround for my journal but its not working! so i gave up and looked at journal icons. the "highlight" of my day so far was riding around the block on my e. scooter. thats it. i was thinking about alot of stuff today though. and thats not good cause when i think too much, i get bored. anyway: i feel really unhappy. not like sad but not happy either. like im stuck in neutral. its really depressing me. i don't feel like i can look forward to anything just watching everyone else around me and i don't feel needed or wanted. and then i was thinking about summer.. and summer is today times 90. i dunno i was dying for summer before but now i just want something to do and to get up and get something done. of coarse there will be really fun days with friends and beach and neighbors but i dunno how much of the summer that will take up. and erin told me last night that she has something to do every single day of the summer.. how is that even possible?! i don't have a clue! the only things that i know i am doing this summer is cherrystone with erin and my birthday. thats it! i hope things arent as boring as i think it is now cause before i thought it was going to be great. this sounds kinda sad but i dunno how often i am going to see erin i know we will get together but her life is so much more busy than mine. i guess im sorta used to her volleyball but everyday of the summer? how in the heck. and to top it all off- she has a tourn on my bithday : ( i mean i am not going to have a party on my birthday then. i just cant. but she better call me. so thats what i have come up with. i hope i can get out of this mode. brittany please leave a comment cause it would mean a lot to me. thanks
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