I don't know where to go with this
So there is this guy. I really like him. I see myself so much in him. I just don't know where this is going. I want the white picket fence dream and kids... I so want kids. He seriously doubts his ability to give all that. It's complicated and confusing as anything.
I'm bracing for disaster. I have an out (when don't I?). And I don't see why I haven't used it yet. It's just that when he wraps his arms around me, or holds my hand, or brushes my cheek, I forget all the crap that I'm so tripped up on. He so special to me.
But last night... Last night I couldn't let it go. We laid there and I tried to see his point of view. But I just can't. It goes against everything I've ever believed. More importantly, it goes against everything I've ever wanted to believe. If I give on this, I know it won't work out. But if he gives, I don't know if it will work out either. We are stuck at an impasse. And we can't keep moving forward if this is how it's going. This is the road block. How distressing...
Have to go turn in my final... I hate school.
I'm bracing for disaster. I have an out (when don't I?). And I don't see why I haven't used it yet. It's just that when he wraps his arms around me, or holds my hand, or brushes my cheek, I forget all the crap that I'm so tripped up on. He so special to me.
But last night... Last night I couldn't let it go. We laid there and I tried to see his point of view. But I just can't. It goes against everything I've ever believed. More importantly, it goes against everything I've ever wanted to believe. If I give on this, I know it won't work out. But if he gives, I don't know if it will work out either. We are stuck at an impasse. And we can't keep moving forward if this is how it's going. This is the road block. How distressing...
Have to go turn in my final... I hate school.