human emotions are hard
Wait, I might be able to go to SWCO after all, which means I have to decide whether to go or not.
I really want to go, but it's a lot of money, and I know my ex is going to be there. However -- I don't want to give my ex the satisfaction of knowing that she got to go and I didn't, which isn't really, like...logical? The problem is that while I do really want to go because STAR WARS a lot of it is tied up with my ex -- which my memories of SWCE are too, and I want to separate "Celebration" from "X." So it's really hard for me to untangle "I want to do this for its own sake" and "I have issues with my ex."
(I do have the money. It is not, perhaps, the best use of my money, but my grandmother gave me a lot of money for graduating + getting into graduate school, and even before then I was planning to go, you know, I bought these tickets last July.
Admittedly: I am going to Atlanta this week (the university is paying) and then I have to go to New Orleans in May, and then I have to move cross-country in July or August. And I'm not making any money at the moment, but I am going to be making money once school starts in August, since I'll be TAing. And I'm trying to plan to go to Orlando next April with friends, but that's a year off.)
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I really want to go, but it's a lot of money, and I know my ex is going to be there. However -- I don't want to give my ex the satisfaction of knowing that she got to go and I didn't, which isn't really, like...logical? The problem is that while I do really want to go because STAR WARS a lot of it is tied up with my ex -- which my memories of SWCE are too, and I want to separate "Celebration" from "X." So it's really hard for me to untangle "I want to do this for its own sake" and "I have issues with my ex."
(I do have the money. It is not, perhaps, the best use of my money, but my grandmother gave me a lot of money for graduating + getting into graduate school, and even before then I was planning to go, you know, I bought these tickets last July.
Admittedly: I am going to Atlanta this week (the university is paying) and then I have to go to New Orleans in May, and then I have to move cross-country in July or August. And I'm not making any money at the moment, but I am going to be making money once school starts in August, since I'll be TAing. And I'm trying to plan to go to Orlando next April with friends, but that's a year off.)
You can also read this entry on Dreamwidth (
comments)