The Ultimate Sacrifice
Before anybody starts putting on their religious helmets and getting ready to do battle all over my poor journal, let me just tell you -- it's not that big of a deal. I'm being dramatic.
It's about my hair.
So, my good friend Joanna got married on Sunday. I must be completely desensitized or I hate weddings or both, because while I do care that my friends are making this huge step in their lives, and while I am a wealth of knowledge of all things wedding (thanks to my friend Judy, who got married in October -- and yes, I was in her wedding -- and my other friend Sheree, whose wedding is on June 21st, who has exposed me to things I did not even know EXISTED), I am ambivalent to the entire idea of the wedding day...and how the beautiful the bride looks. Yes, I think she's pretty -- I'm not a bitch! -- but all I see is my friend, maybe done up a little bit. I'm not going to stand there and gawk at her, oohing and ahhing for 45 minutes straight, but I will hold her dress while she pees, and I will even hand her paper towels to dry her hands while she stands over the sink because she can't get any part of her gown the least bit wet.
I will also wear the godforsaken chest-constricting gown she made me buy for $175 (plus alteration fees), and do my makeup and hair accordingly, to the bride's satisfaction.
Involuntary haircuts, though, are very much another issue.
Here's a little story so that everyone can understand my problem with this (as if "involuntary haircut" didn't say everything already): so, I had a bad haircut in November 2006, and I refer to that haircut even today, as the Hair Tragedy of November 2006. It was cut by someone I knew from beauty school, who had high aspirations but not a lot of experience. I learned my lesson that day -- she razored my hair down with a razor comb until it was extra thin and limp at the ends, and it took months for my hair to recuperate. And then, when it did, I got my hair cut again in January 2007 -- by a stylist that worked at the spa I worked at, in exchange for waxing her 1970s porn star-like bush (I'm dead serious) -- who made things worse by razoring with scissors down my hair. And not only did she razor it, she razored it from a point near the top of my head, so the shortest pieces were extremely short near the top of my head and took me nearly a YEAR to grow out.
The moral of the story is, don't have your hair done by inexperienced stylists because you are friends.
Two bad haircuts later by the two different fledgling stylists, I found a new and EXPERIENCED stylist that was nearby, who rehabilitated my hair...but then cost me an arm and a leg every visit, and never gave me a style that I absolutely LOVED. I went to have my hair done by that stylist for 8 or 9 months, or until my hair grew out long enough that I decided I'd be okay with taking another calculated risk. Then, in December 2007, I started seeing a new (but also experienced) stylist, and while she's AWESOME at haircuts, she's not up to par on the color portion...and she's kind of far -- over 20 miles away from me. Although she's not as costly as the one near me, it's a huge trek to make it to her salon.
Sheree convinced me that I would fare better with her friend Jen, who works more nearby -- in Huntington Beach. I've always loved Sheree's style and color, so I booked an appointment on June 16th -- after Joanna's wedding on June 1st, but before Sheree's wedding on June 21st.
On Sunday, June 1st, Betty and I went to the stylist that Joanna had booked for all the bridesmaids. When I got there, I noticed a pile of hair on the floor, but was unsure whose it was. Later on, I found out it was the other girls' -- he'd cut ALL of our hair, but for some reason, cut very little off Amy, Cindy, and Betty. I guess he'd gone nuts with my hair and Alice's hair. When it was my turn to get my hair done...he started cutting into my hair, not saying anything to me at all.
"What? You're cutting my hair?" I asked. He nodded. Alan (that was his Pretend English name, I know his legal name is something in Chinese) didn't speak very much English.
"It's Chinese style," he reassured me. "I just tip ends, not cut length. You have lot of layer and hair."
Isn't that the whole fucking idea? That I have a lot of pretty, pretty hair? And that it makes me...well, pretty? I pay good money for having pretty hair...and you're telling me that I have a lot of layers and hair? That's the point!
"Okay...if it's just tipping the ends," I said, and sat there and watched him thin out my hair -- razor-style. I don't know why I didn't leap out of my chair and start screaming maniacally, because I was watching him use those thinning shears -- you know, the shears that have the comb-looking teeth in them -- and he was gradually thinning out the volume of my hair. I have a lot of hair, so you can imagine how huge the pile of hair was getting, adding and collecting along with the existing pile that was there already. He didn't moisten my hair. He dry-cut it, which, under normal circumstances, makes my hair frizzy, no matter how careful you are. And, it allows for the most uneven cut ever.
Having those two bad haircuts in the past have taught me a lot about haircutting, trust me.
Then he whipped out this curling iron I swear was circa 1993. Shiny gold, no ceramic coating. All my own hair styling tools are ceramic. It doesn't cost that much now...and you can find a decent curling iron at even the drugstore, for not a lot of money. Apparently, though, this stylist decided that using the most archaic of tools would be a-okay.
As he curled, he used a generic hairspray that I didn't recognize. It wasn't even AquaNet, and at first, I even thought it was a can of some kind of industrial cleaner! The can was almost as nondescript as covering an existing can of roach spray with a brown paper bag and scrawling "HAIR SPRAY" in big Sharpie marker pen.
So, with the involuntary haircut (I didn't ASK him for a haircut, he was supposed to just CURL my hair for the wedding!), the archaic hair styling tool, and the cheap hairspray, my hair was dead after I'd washed and conditioned it that night. Then, when I dried it...I noticed that my ends were completely damaged -- and it's not like my hair was perfect before, but he further exacerbated the damage that had already been done. The ends he "tipped" are now feathery, dry, and ragged-looking. I look like someone who doesn't take care of her hair -- except that I do.
I didn't realize how bougie I was about haircare until this incident -- in terms of how much I spend on products and services, and what I look for in terms of experience and product ingredients. I'd forgotten all that I had to do the last couple times I had this issue, I suppose. Now I am FURIOUS -- yes, FURIOUS -- at the stylist for taking the easy way out and thinning out my hair so he wouldn't have to curl as much. That's exactly why he thinned it out. I know enough to understand that much, because I've learned from the last two experienced stylists what had gone wrong when the first two inexperienced stylists had cut my hair. It was because he wanted a FUCKING SHORTCUT that he did this...he didn't want to spend hours curling my hair and leaving it the way it was.
I can't believe I've spent about $1,000 total on Joanna's wedding and its related festivities, only to have to spend an additional $50 on extra haircare to remedy my damaged hair and encourage new growth because of this ridiculous stylist who took it upon himself to cut my hair without asking. Sheree has reassured me that Jen will be able to fix it...fortunately, the massive tipping the wedding hairstylist was only very close to the ends and he didn't take off any length, but you know what? In order to get rid of it, I already know that Jen will have to cut about an inch or so. AN INCH I WOULDN'T HAVE HAD TO CUT IF HE HADN'T TAKEN IT UPON HIMSELF TO MAKE AN EXECUTIVE DECISION TO HACK OFF MY HAIR.
Everyone keeps telling me it will be okay, and yes, I know that. The wedding went well, but I think I would have liked it better if I hadn't gotten a Hair Murderer and realized that he had killed my hair to save time -- and especially when he didn't need to, because we were TWO HOURS ahead of schedule when we left the salon. To add insult to injury...I could have curled my own goddamn hair for free and it wouldn't have gotten so damaged...and the curls would've lasted me all day, not like the 3 hour stint the ones he'd curled lasted.
I can't wait til things get back to normal...
It's about my hair.
So, my good friend Joanna got married on Sunday. I must be completely desensitized or I hate weddings or both, because while I do care that my friends are making this huge step in their lives, and while I am a wealth of knowledge of all things wedding (thanks to my friend Judy, who got married in October -- and yes, I was in her wedding -- and my other friend Sheree, whose wedding is on June 21st, who has exposed me to things I did not even know EXISTED), I am ambivalent to the entire idea of the wedding day...and how the beautiful the bride looks. Yes, I think she's pretty -- I'm not a bitch! -- but all I see is my friend, maybe done up a little bit. I'm not going to stand there and gawk at her, oohing and ahhing for 45 minutes straight, but I will hold her dress while she pees, and I will even hand her paper towels to dry her hands while she stands over the sink because she can't get any part of her gown the least bit wet.
I will also wear the godforsaken chest-constricting gown she made me buy for $175 (plus alteration fees), and do my makeup and hair accordingly, to the bride's satisfaction.
Involuntary haircuts, though, are very much another issue.
Here's a little story so that everyone can understand my problem with this (as if "involuntary haircut" didn't say everything already): so, I had a bad haircut in November 2006, and I refer to that haircut even today, as the Hair Tragedy of November 2006. It was cut by someone I knew from beauty school, who had high aspirations but not a lot of experience. I learned my lesson that day -- she razored my hair down with a razor comb until it was extra thin and limp at the ends, and it took months for my hair to recuperate. And then, when it did, I got my hair cut again in January 2007 -- by a stylist that worked at the spa I worked at, in exchange for waxing her 1970s porn star-like bush (I'm dead serious) -- who made things worse by razoring with scissors down my hair. And not only did she razor it, she razored it from a point near the top of my head, so the shortest pieces were extremely short near the top of my head and took me nearly a YEAR to grow out.
The moral of the story is, don't have your hair done by inexperienced stylists because you are friends.
Two bad haircuts later by the two different fledgling stylists, I found a new and EXPERIENCED stylist that was nearby, who rehabilitated my hair...but then cost me an arm and a leg every visit, and never gave me a style that I absolutely LOVED. I went to have my hair done by that stylist for 8 or 9 months, or until my hair grew out long enough that I decided I'd be okay with taking another calculated risk. Then, in December 2007, I started seeing a new (but also experienced) stylist, and while she's AWESOME at haircuts, she's not up to par on the color portion...and she's kind of far -- over 20 miles away from me. Although she's not as costly as the one near me, it's a huge trek to make it to her salon.
Sheree convinced me that I would fare better with her friend Jen, who works more nearby -- in Huntington Beach. I've always loved Sheree's style and color, so I booked an appointment on June 16th -- after Joanna's wedding on June 1st, but before Sheree's wedding on June 21st.
On Sunday, June 1st, Betty and I went to the stylist that Joanna had booked for all the bridesmaids. When I got there, I noticed a pile of hair on the floor, but was unsure whose it was. Later on, I found out it was the other girls' -- he'd cut ALL of our hair, but for some reason, cut very little off Amy, Cindy, and Betty. I guess he'd gone nuts with my hair and Alice's hair. When it was my turn to get my hair done...he started cutting into my hair, not saying anything to me at all.
"What? You're cutting my hair?" I asked. He nodded. Alan (that was his Pretend English name, I know his legal name is something in Chinese) didn't speak very much English.
"It's Chinese style," he reassured me. "I just tip ends, not cut length. You have lot of layer and hair."
Isn't that the whole fucking idea? That I have a lot of pretty, pretty hair? And that it makes me...well, pretty? I pay good money for having pretty hair...and you're telling me that I have a lot of layers and hair? That's the point!
"Okay...if it's just tipping the ends," I said, and sat there and watched him thin out my hair -- razor-style. I don't know why I didn't leap out of my chair and start screaming maniacally, because I was watching him use those thinning shears -- you know, the shears that have the comb-looking teeth in them -- and he was gradually thinning out the volume of my hair. I have a lot of hair, so you can imagine how huge the pile of hair was getting, adding and collecting along with the existing pile that was there already. He didn't moisten my hair. He dry-cut it, which, under normal circumstances, makes my hair frizzy, no matter how careful you are. And, it allows for the most uneven cut ever.
Having those two bad haircuts in the past have taught me a lot about haircutting, trust me.
Then he whipped out this curling iron I swear was circa 1993. Shiny gold, no ceramic coating. All my own hair styling tools are ceramic. It doesn't cost that much now...and you can find a decent curling iron at even the drugstore, for not a lot of money. Apparently, though, this stylist decided that using the most archaic of tools would be a-okay.
As he curled, he used a generic hairspray that I didn't recognize. It wasn't even AquaNet, and at first, I even thought it was a can of some kind of industrial cleaner! The can was almost as nondescript as covering an existing can of roach spray with a brown paper bag and scrawling "HAIR SPRAY" in big Sharpie marker pen.
So, with the involuntary haircut (I didn't ASK him for a haircut, he was supposed to just CURL my hair for the wedding!), the archaic hair styling tool, and the cheap hairspray, my hair was dead after I'd washed and conditioned it that night. Then, when I dried it...I noticed that my ends were completely damaged -- and it's not like my hair was perfect before, but he further exacerbated the damage that had already been done. The ends he "tipped" are now feathery, dry, and ragged-looking. I look like someone who doesn't take care of her hair -- except that I do.
I didn't realize how bougie I was about haircare until this incident -- in terms of how much I spend on products and services, and what I look for in terms of experience and product ingredients. I'd forgotten all that I had to do the last couple times I had this issue, I suppose. Now I am FURIOUS -- yes, FURIOUS -- at the stylist for taking the easy way out and thinning out my hair so he wouldn't have to curl as much. That's exactly why he thinned it out. I know enough to understand that much, because I've learned from the last two experienced stylists what had gone wrong when the first two inexperienced stylists had cut my hair. It was because he wanted a FUCKING SHORTCUT that he did this...he didn't want to spend hours curling my hair and leaving it the way it was.
I can't believe I've spent about $1,000 total on Joanna's wedding and its related festivities, only to have to spend an additional $50 on extra haircare to remedy my damaged hair and encourage new growth because of this ridiculous stylist who took it upon himself to cut my hair without asking. Sheree has reassured me that Jen will be able to fix it...fortunately, the massive tipping the wedding hairstylist was only very close to the ends and he didn't take off any length, but you know what? In order to get rid of it, I already know that Jen will have to cut about an inch or so. AN INCH I WOULDN'T HAVE HAD TO CUT IF HE HADN'T TAKEN IT UPON HIMSELF TO MAKE AN EXECUTIVE DECISION TO HACK OFF MY HAIR.
Everyone keeps telling me it will be okay, and yes, I know that. The wedding went well, but I think I would have liked it better if I hadn't gotten a Hair Murderer and realized that he had killed my hair to save time -- and especially when he didn't need to, because we were TWO HOURS ahead of schedule when we left the salon. To add insult to injury...I could have curled my own goddamn hair for free and it wouldn't have gotten so damaged...and the curls would've lasted me all day, not like the 3 hour stint the ones he'd curled lasted.
I can't wait til things get back to normal...