Just one of the guys
This seems to be the theme song as of late, and yet I am pissed off. Just one of the guys, someone I would hang out with, but not date. Fuck. You know what makes me this way? I'll tell you why I have to be so goddamn tough, it is because I have gone through so much shit in my life that if I was emotional about it, I probably would not be sane today. I have a very high wall to scale to get to know the real me. Shit, I don't even know if i have fully reached the top of it. Who really knows who they are?
I guess I am taking all these words too much to heart, but deep down, I know that I am tough. I know I put my toughness out there because when people think you are tough, they fuck with you less. If you are a tough person, no one wants to mess with you because they know you are capable of defending yourself. I am not some defenseless woman who needs a man around for protecting. Maybe that is why I am intimidating. I don't NEED a man. Just because someone doesn't need you, doesn't mean they don't want you in their life. Fuck. I don't know. I am about to give up on it all. It is not worth this grief and heartache I am content to be alone, and possibly forever. What is life anyway, but a long series of disappointments?
I guess I am taking all these words too much to heart, but deep down, I know that I am tough. I know I put my toughness out there because when people think you are tough, they fuck with you less. If you are a tough person, no one wants to mess with you because they know you are capable of defending yourself. I am not some defenseless woman who needs a man around for protecting. Maybe that is why I am intimidating. I don't NEED a man. Just because someone doesn't need you, doesn't mean they don't want you in their life. Fuck. I don't know. I am about to give up on it all. It is not worth this grief and heartache I am content to be alone, and possibly forever. What is life anyway, but a long series of disappointments?