ex_ajokerca
in
becum
Season 7 x Episode 14
Title: Season 7 x Episode 14
Summary: Four thousand apple pies for Zacky Vengeance
Pairing: Alex Varkatzas/Matt Sanders
Rating: E for everyone
Word Count: 1,794
"Please correct me if I'm saying this wrong," Judge Pirro glanced at the plaintiff, "Ektor Varkatzas?" When the plaintiff nodded, she turned to the folder before her and started looking through them, as well as went on speaking, "is suing Matthew Sanders for an unpaid mortgage and cell phone bill. Ektor, speak to me."
Alex bit his lip and looked like he was trying not to laugh or have a mental breakdown, "Matt and I met sometime in between 2003 and 2004, there was a lot of little meetings and we were constantly reintroduced to each other, finally in the summer of '04 we ended up at the same party and really got to talk and meet each other. We hit it off, we had a lot in common and he's a great guy."
On the side, with a lazy grin, Matt was nodding.
"We kept in touch through email, loose friends I guess, I wasn't in a right place at the time. The band I'm in was just starting to get big," he looked ashamed, "I had always been a heavy drinker and it was slowly coming to the point where it was more than an addiction, it was my life. I was always drunk and never sober…actually, that was how we came across each other, I stumbled into him and we fell into the pool."
The courtroom laughed, there was some clapping.
"I bet that sobered you up real quickly," Judge Pirro chuckled.
"Yes, ma'am," Alex looked incredibly uncomfortable so Matt decided to step in.
"In late 2005 I decided to step in, I didn't like how Alex's -"
"Alex?"
"I go by my middle name, Alexander - Alex."
"Okay, go on."
"Alex's life was spiraling out of control and he had something really good going for him. I dragged him to rehab and sponsored him."
"Dragged him?"
"Yes, Your Honor."
"Did he drag you?" She looked stunned.
"If you mean in the literal sense, yes, Your Honor, he did. I ended up thanking him for it later, I refused to see the problem and do anything about it …had he not stepped in I would still be on the same path."
"So you're sober now?"
"Yes, Your Honor, since December 2006."
"Right around the holiday -- good for you. Good. For. You." She started clapping and the rest of the courtroom followed suit, a few stood up. "Alright, so we have you two as friends, Matthew is sponsoring him, Ektor becomes sober, we all agree on this?" Both men nodded. "Okay, well, clearly something went wrong that landed you both in my courtroom, Ektor, talk to me."
"We started dating, during '04 and '06 we were on and off but there was too much fighting to consider it serious or even a real relationship, but once I got sober we decided to try it for real and it worked, it was hard because we were on tour a lot but it was one of those relationships that seems too good to be true. So in 2009 we decided to purchase a house together, but because of our schedules, I would be on the road more than Matt would be, because of this my income would be bigger. When it came down to take care of the loan and put down money for the house, we decided I would put down the majority and Matt would either pay me back or he would just add the money to a household account we made to share - it was a verbal agreement, but I do have the statements of how much money we each put down." He handed off the papers to Keith.
"Is this true, Matthew?"
"Yes, Your Honor."
"Then what is the problem?!" She flipped through the papers, "your boyfriend put out the money, and you said he would pay him back, right?"
"Yes, Your Honor."
"Your Honor if I may speak?"
"Yes?"
"He did give me my money back -"
"Then what are you doing here!?"
"Because he hasn't helped with anything past that, right now our positions have been reversed. He's on the road and I'm spending more time at home and in the studio working on projects and he expects me to put out all this money with no help at all. I don't have it. I can't afford to keep paying the mortgage and our cell phone bill which is something I expect him to help with while he's on the road - since I'm home, I have no problem taking care of the bills because I'm the only one…"
"Let me get this straight," she pointed a finger at Alex, "you only want him to help you with the mortgage and the cell phone bill while he's on the road but the house belongs to the two of you."
"Yes, Your Honor."
"Why? I don't understand this."
"I don't see why he should have to pay for something that doesn't benefit him when he's not even around. He's on the road, not at the house but when he's off the road I expect him to help." Alex shrugged, "the bills are low anyway, I spend most of my time at the studio."
"So take the extra money and put it in your household account in case you need it at a later date!" Judge Pirro flung herself back in her seat, "jeez. Matthew, why aren't you helping him with the mortgage and the cell phone bill? Why aren't you helping him with the bills either? You have a …jesus, Keith would you look at this.." She muttered, a look of shock covering her face, "you have a four million dollar house right here, Matthew. Four million dollars."
Chatter went through the courtroom and she banged her gavel. "C'mon, talk to me. What's going on?"
"Well, Alex and I haven't been on the best of terms lately so I thought it would be alright to let him suffer for a little. I didn't think it would go this far," Matt turned and gave him a dimpled smile, "sorry baby - I'm going to have the money …" He angled himself so he could talk to them both. "Right now we're on a small break from touring and we'll be getting another check, the last one we got was only for five thousand six hundred dollars -"
"What happened to that five thousand six hundred dollars?"
"I didn't spend two thousand of it wisely."
"You received a check for five thousand six hundreds, you didn't spend two thousand of it wisely …what happened to the other three thousand six hundred, come on Matthew; you're not making any sense here!" She banged her gavel.
"I spent two thousand dollars on McDonalds Apple Pies."
"You what!?" Two voices filled the air at the same time, Judge Pirro looked comical in her shock and Alex looked like he would love to do nothing more than strangle his boyfriend.
"Like I said, Alex and I weren't on the best of terms and I wanted to make him think that I didn't care for a bit …I knew I would be getting a larger amount in the next couple of weeks. We were at McDonalds and I thought it would be funny to get a friend of mine two thousand dollars worth of apple pies."
"Matt, that's four thousand apple pies!"
"I know, Alex."
"Dare I ask what would anyone do with four thousand apple pies?"
Matt shrugged, "what did you do with them Zack?" His witness stood up.
"I ate them …well, not all of them, I saved a bunch of them and I gave some away. I have a Great Dane that loves them."
Judge Pirro just looked at them in shock and shook her head, "who are you?"
"Zack Baker, I'm Matt's best friend and bandmate. He bought the pies for me as a joke. I also have the receipts …he had to go to five different McDonalds to get them all." He pulled them out of a folder and handed them to Keith who brought them to Judge Pirro.
Finally she started laughing, "four thousand apple pies, Matthew, what were you thinking?"
"I really wasn't. It was 4am and I thought it would be funny."
"Well, clearly you weren't thinking. Now, that still leaves us with three thousand, six hundred dollars that's missing …did you spend that on cherry pies?" She and Keith shared a smile.
"Actually, I spent it on something else." Matt pulled something out of his pocket and stepped out from behind the podium to be in front of Alex. He dropped to his knee and opened his hand, "I had planned this really nice dinner, getaway thing …told Sheep he couldn't have you for the weekend to work on your project, and I wanted to end the weekend by giving you this but it's not going to work like that. So, before we continue on with this case, will you marry me?"
Alex stared at him. Blinked and rolled his eyes. "You asshole, you fucking asshole." At some point he had trailed off into Greek but he had held out his hand, an obvious yes and he was smiling.
"Well, I guess we just found out where he spent the rest of his money." The Judge beamed.
"Yes, ma'am and I can see how, it's a really nice ring."
"Okay you two, order." She banged her gavel and broke up the two who were kissing. "Alright so the question is if the plaintiff is liable to the defendant for owed money. The obvious answer is yes, you admitted to it, you all did and I'm pretty sure if I asked the other witness," she raised a brow.
"Dan Jacobs, Your Honor."
"Thank you, now sit down." He quickly sat. "I'm sure if I asked Dan Jacobs he would give me the same answer. You both know the problem, Ektor is suing for two thousand dollars and it seems to me you're only doing it to make him see that you're serious about this, correct?"
"Yes, Your Honor."
"Okay, well, he knows, you know …we all know and now you're both engaged!" She banged her gavel before pointing it at Matthew, "Don't buy two thousand dollars worth of pies - I don't care if they're for your mother! Don't do it! That's the most absurd thing I've ever heard! Help your fiancé with the bills, I don’t care if you're there or not, I don't care if he's there or he's not - the house is a very expensive house and it belongs to the both of you. Ektor, what language was that you were speaking before?"
"Greek, Your Honor."
"It's very nice sounding." She banged her gavel twice. "No verdict, court dismissed."
Summary: Four thousand apple pies for Zacky Vengeance
Pairing: Alex Varkatzas/Matt Sanders
Rating: E for everyone
Word Count: 1,794
"Please correct me if I'm saying this wrong," Judge Pirro glanced at the plaintiff, "Ektor Varkatzas?" When the plaintiff nodded, she turned to the folder before her and started looking through them, as well as went on speaking, "is suing Matthew Sanders for an unpaid mortgage and cell phone bill. Ektor, speak to me."
Alex bit his lip and looked like he was trying not to laugh or have a mental breakdown, "Matt and I met sometime in between 2003 and 2004, there was a lot of little meetings and we were constantly reintroduced to each other, finally in the summer of '04 we ended up at the same party and really got to talk and meet each other. We hit it off, we had a lot in common and he's a great guy."
On the side, with a lazy grin, Matt was nodding.
"We kept in touch through email, loose friends I guess, I wasn't in a right place at the time. The band I'm in was just starting to get big," he looked ashamed, "I had always been a heavy drinker and it was slowly coming to the point where it was more than an addiction, it was my life. I was always drunk and never sober…actually, that was how we came across each other, I stumbled into him and we fell into the pool."
The courtroom laughed, there was some clapping.
"I bet that sobered you up real quickly," Judge Pirro chuckled.
"Yes, ma'am," Alex looked incredibly uncomfortable so Matt decided to step in.
"In late 2005 I decided to step in, I didn't like how Alex's -"
"Alex?"
"I go by my middle name, Alexander - Alex."
"Okay, go on."
"Alex's life was spiraling out of control and he had something really good going for him. I dragged him to rehab and sponsored him."
"Dragged him?"
"Yes, Your Honor."
"Did he drag you?" She looked stunned.
"If you mean in the literal sense, yes, Your Honor, he did. I ended up thanking him for it later, I refused to see the problem and do anything about it …had he not stepped in I would still be on the same path."
"So you're sober now?"
"Yes, Your Honor, since December 2006."
"Right around the holiday -- good for you. Good. For. You." She started clapping and the rest of the courtroom followed suit, a few stood up. "Alright, so we have you two as friends, Matthew is sponsoring him, Ektor becomes sober, we all agree on this?" Both men nodded. "Okay, well, clearly something went wrong that landed you both in my courtroom, Ektor, talk to me."
"We started dating, during '04 and '06 we were on and off but there was too much fighting to consider it serious or even a real relationship, but once I got sober we decided to try it for real and it worked, it was hard because we were on tour a lot but it was one of those relationships that seems too good to be true. So in 2009 we decided to purchase a house together, but because of our schedules, I would be on the road more than Matt would be, because of this my income would be bigger. When it came down to take care of the loan and put down money for the house, we decided I would put down the majority and Matt would either pay me back or he would just add the money to a household account we made to share - it was a verbal agreement, but I do have the statements of how much money we each put down." He handed off the papers to Keith.
"Is this true, Matthew?"
"Yes, Your Honor."
"Then what is the problem?!" She flipped through the papers, "your boyfriend put out the money, and you said he would pay him back, right?"
"Yes, Your Honor."
"Your Honor if I may speak?"
"Yes?"
"He did give me my money back -"
"Then what are you doing here!?"
"Because he hasn't helped with anything past that, right now our positions have been reversed. He's on the road and I'm spending more time at home and in the studio working on projects and he expects me to put out all this money with no help at all. I don't have it. I can't afford to keep paying the mortgage and our cell phone bill which is something I expect him to help with while he's on the road - since I'm home, I have no problem taking care of the bills because I'm the only one…"
"Let me get this straight," she pointed a finger at Alex, "you only want him to help you with the mortgage and the cell phone bill while he's on the road but the house belongs to the two of you."
"Yes, Your Honor."
"Why? I don't understand this."
"I don't see why he should have to pay for something that doesn't benefit him when he's not even around. He's on the road, not at the house but when he's off the road I expect him to help." Alex shrugged, "the bills are low anyway, I spend most of my time at the studio."
"So take the extra money and put it in your household account in case you need it at a later date!" Judge Pirro flung herself back in her seat, "jeez. Matthew, why aren't you helping him with the mortgage and the cell phone bill? Why aren't you helping him with the bills either? You have a …jesus, Keith would you look at this.." She muttered, a look of shock covering her face, "you have a four million dollar house right here, Matthew. Four million dollars."
Chatter went through the courtroom and she banged her gavel. "C'mon, talk to me. What's going on?"
"Well, Alex and I haven't been on the best of terms lately so I thought it would be alright to let him suffer for a little. I didn't think it would go this far," Matt turned and gave him a dimpled smile, "sorry baby - I'm going to have the money …" He angled himself so he could talk to them both. "Right now we're on a small break from touring and we'll be getting another check, the last one we got was only for five thousand six hundred dollars -"
"What happened to that five thousand six hundred dollars?"
"I didn't spend two thousand of it wisely."
"You received a check for five thousand six hundreds, you didn't spend two thousand of it wisely …what happened to the other three thousand six hundred, come on Matthew; you're not making any sense here!" She banged her gavel.
"I spent two thousand dollars on McDonalds Apple Pies."
"You what!?" Two voices filled the air at the same time, Judge Pirro looked comical in her shock and Alex looked like he would love to do nothing more than strangle his boyfriend.
"Like I said, Alex and I weren't on the best of terms and I wanted to make him think that I didn't care for a bit …I knew I would be getting a larger amount in the next couple of weeks. We were at McDonalds and I thought it would be funny to get a friend of mine two thousand dollars worth of apple pies."
"Matt, that's four thousand apple pies!"
"I know, Alex."
"Dare I ask what would anyone do with four thousand apple pies?"
Matt shrugged, "what did you do with them Zack?" His witness stood up.
"I ate them …well, not all of them, I saved a bunch of them and I gave some away. I have a Great Dane that loves them."
Judge Pirro just looked at them in shock and shook her head, "who are you?"
"Zack Baker, I'm Matt's best friend and bandmate. He bought the pies for me as a joke. I also have the receipts …he had to go to five different McDonalds to get them all." He pulled them out of a folder and handed them to Keith who brought them to Judge Pirro.
Finally she started laughing, "four thousand apple pies, Matthew, what were you thinking?"
"I really wasn't. It was 4am and I thought it would be funny."
"Well, clearly you weren't thinking. Now, that still leaves us with three thousand, six hundred dollars that's missing …did you spend that on cherry pies?" She and Keith shared a smile.
"Actually, I spent it on something else." Matt pulled something out of his pocket and stepped out from behind the podium to be in front of Alex. He dropped to his knee and opened his hand, "I had planned this really nice dinner, getaway thing …told Sheep he couldn't have you for the weekend to work on your project, and I wanted to end the weekend by giving you this but it's not going to work like that. So, before we continue on with this case, will you marry me?"
Alex stared at him. Blinked and rolled his eyes. "You asshole, you fucking asshole." At some point he had trailed off into Greek but he had held out his hand, an obvious yes and he was smiling.
"Well, I guess we just found out where he spent the rest of his money." The Judge beamed.
"Yes, ma'am and I can see how, it's a really nice ring."
"Okay you two, order." She banged her gavel and broke up the two who were kissing. "Alright so the question is if the plaintiff is liable to the defendant for owed money. The obvious answer is yes, you admitted to it, you all did and I'm pretty sure if I asked the other witness," she raised a brow.
"Dan Jacobs, Your Honor."
"Thank you, now sit down." He quickly sat. "I'm sure if I asked Dan Jacobs he would give me the same answer. You both know the problem, Ektor is suing for two thousand dollars and it seems to me you're only doing it to make him see that you're serious about this, correct?"
"Yes, Your Honor."
"Okay, well, he knows, you know …we all know and now you're both engaged!" She banged her gavel before pointing it at Matthew, "Don't buy two thousand dollars worth of pies - I don't care if they're for your mother! Don't do it! That's the most absurd thing I've ever heard! Help your fiancé with the bills, I don’t care if you're there or not, I don't care if he's there or he's not - the house is a very expensive house and it belongs to the both of you. Ektor, what language was that you were speaking before?"
"Greek, Your Honor."
"It's very nice sounding." She banged her gavel twice. "No verdict, court dismissed."