Yep, it's all about me
I will turn 37 as I type this. In doing some thinking, I've decided a few things. FirstI am in a pretty okay place mentally. I still have attacks of depression, but the meds are helping to keep those fewer and farther between. I am also finding better ways at heading them off at the pass, so to speak. It will be a lifelong battle, but I have greatly improved my arsenal. TMI alert, who knew kinky sex could help with that? I continue to learn things about myself, which I find quite awesome.
While improving my mental health, I have been pretty much ignoring my physical well being. Interestingly enough, these have kind of gone hand in hand. I have gained 50 pounds in the last several years. The teenager with an eating disorder that still lives in my head needed to grow up and accept this, and she has. I feel, when in clothes that fit or even in no clothes, pretty damn okay with my body. On some occasions even damn sexy. That is not to say that I intend to be this size forever. It's a part of the journey. My mental health had to take precedence for awhile. Now that things are a bit smoother there, I can turn my attention to being more active and healthy. I didn't do all of this work on my crazy to keep my brain from killing me just to have my body kick it early. I have lots of living to do yet.
Last, I think, is that I am feeling much more comfortable being me. I don't feel the need to apologize for my opinions, or keep them to myself. Not that I'm screaming them in people's faces, but I won't be bullied into changing my mind or being quiet. Hear me roar, and all of that.
And there I am, 37 years old and finally starting to feel like a grown up. Happy birthday to me.
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