I've had a lot on my mind and I just need to get it off my chest
I've had a lot on my mind. I really don't know how to say it, but I'll do it the best I can by relating to certain lyrics.
"I consider myself a lucky kid, but I'm pretty good at fucking up"-Ruiner
I think this line sums me up in general. Someone recently asked me to tell them a secret and I told them that I sometimes purposely fuck things up to get out of certain situations. I really can't say why I do this. I start to feel trapped and just need a way to get out of things. I guess what I'm saying is that I'm fucked up and I know it.
"I've put my life on a shelf while everyone around me found happiness and wealth, A tourist among my family and friends They all wanna know what goes on inside my head, There all happy in homes of their own while I have nothing to call my own, I lived between right and wrong for far too long"-Blacklisted
This line is from a song called "Tourist" and as of late this is how I've felt. I've made choices that I think may have put some distance between my family and friends, but its what I think is best for me. My choices may have cost me some rewards, but hopefully in time I'll get what I want and need. I've never felt like I really fit in anywhere. I can't help but feel disconnected from the ones I care about the most. In over the last two years I really haven't felt like I had a home to call my own. Even now I still feel like a tourist in my own place. I can't really say what goes in my head, cause at times I really don't know whats going on.
"Where do you go with your broken heart in tow what do you do with the left over you and how do you know, when to let go where does the good go, where does the good go look me in the eye and tell me you don't find me attractive look me in the heart and tell me you won't go look me in the eye and promise no love's like our love look me in the heart and unbreak broken, it won't happen it's love that leaves and breaks the seal of always thinking you would be real, happy and healthy, strong and calm, where does the good go where does the good go where do you go when you're in love and the world knows how do you live so happily while I am sad and broken down what do you say it's up for grabs now that you're on your way down where does the good go, where does the good go"-Tegan and Sara
I spending a majority of my time alone thinking about my past relationships. Dwelling on what could have been, how I've been hurt, and the mistakes made. At times being alone really gets to me. Love's a two way street, for all the hurt I've felt I know I have cause just as much hurt to others. When I think about the hurt I've caused I can't help but feel guilty and sorry. I find myself wondering what could've been if things were different. I want to mend some relationships, but time and silence has just cause a hurt that just won't mend no matter what
"I consider myself a lucky kid, but I'm pretty good at fucking up"-Ruiner
I think this line sums me up in general. Someone recently asked me to tell them a secret and I told them that I sometimes purposely fuck things up to get out of certain situations. I really can't say why I do this. I start to feel trapped and just need a way to get out of things. I guess what I'm saying is that I'm fucked up and I know it.
"I've put my life on a shelf while everyone around me found happiness and wealth, A tourist among my family and friends They all wanna know what goes on inside my head, There all happy in homes of their own while I have nothing to call my own, I lived between right and wrong for far too long"-Blacklisted
This line is from a song called "Tourist" and as of late this is how I've felt. I've made choices that I think may have put some distance between my family and friends, but its what I think is best for me. My choices may have cost me some rewards, but hopefully in time I'll get what I want and need. I've never felt like I really fit in anywhere. I can't help but feel disconnected from the ones I care about the most. In over the last two years I really haven't felt like I had a home to call my own. Even now I still feel like a tourist in my own place. I can't really say what goes in my head, cause at times I really don't know whats going on.
"Where do you go with your broken heart in tow what do you do with the left over you and how do you know, when to let go where does the good go, where does the good go look me in the eye and tell me you don't find me attractive look me in the heart and tell me you won't go look me in the eye and promise no love's like our love look me in the heart and unbreak broken, it won't happen it's love that leaves and breaks the seal of always thinking you would be real, happy and healthy, strong and calm, where does the good go where does the good go where do you go when you're in love and the world knows how do you live so happily while I am sad and broken down what do you say it's up for grabs now that you're on your way down where does the good go, where does the good go"-Tegan and Sara
I spending a majority of my time alone thinking about my past relationships. Dwelling on what could have been, how I've been hurt, and the mistakes made. At times being alone really gets to me. Love's a two way street, for all the hurt I've felt I know I have cause just as much hurt to others. When I think about the hurt I've caused I can't help but feel guilty and sorry. I find myself wondering what could've been if things were different. I want to mend some relationships, but time and silence has just cause a hurt that just won't mend no matter what