six more days
next thursday night david and i will be departing for minneapolis to spend a few days, pick up rachel, and come back to louisville. We will hopefully only be in louisville for a few days before we leave for a good long while.
my things are all packed up and stored in dave's mom's basement.
i am sleeping behind the piano in the recording studio at the warehouse where my comrade sean lives.
i have no job and no money and am actively searching, but finding nothing.
however, i am happier than i have been in months. i didnt realize how much my house was making me depressed, but after moving out i feel 1000 times better. i feel as though i have had a huge weight lifted off of my shoulders and i am free. maybe it was just the fact that i couldnt really believe i was leaving, since i was still in my room with all of my things around me.
since ive returned from miami, almost 9 months ago, i have wanted to leave again. i love louisville and i love lots of people in louisville, but right now this is just not the place for me to be. i want to be meeting new people and learning new things. i want to be moving on with my life and i feel so stagnant in a house downtown where nothing i really want to do for the rest of my life is happening. i want to be learning how to grow food, build cob structures, figuring out how to teach children and sharing my life with people that will be around for a long time.
i am one of those people that feeds off of positive energy from other people in order to learn and i havent been exposed to that here in louisville in a long time. it's no fault of anyone who lives here, and i will miss so many of them so much. i know what is best for me and i believe that i need to be traveling and learning right now. i have every intention of coming back to louisville, at least for a little while, before buying land somewhere.
i feel so co-dependent in this city. there are a lot of great things to be said for collective living, but one of the downfalls is the fact that you always have people around you to take care of you and and its hard to make your own decisions. right now is time for me to be making my own decisions about what my life is going to become in a couple of years and that isnt really a decision that needs to be made collectively.
this journal entry is the best description of where i am coming from right now. however, it is still a little off because i am having problems communicating my needs and desires without feeling/sounding selfish.
on a lighter note, kate is coming home on sunday!!
dave is coming home on wednesday!
i had an awesome time with rachel, dave, and marissa the other night...full of push pops and ceramic cats and the black waters of capitalism.
my things are all packed up and stored in dave's mom's basement.
i am sleeping behind the piano in the recording studio at the warehouse where my comrade sean lives.
i have no job and no money and am actively searching, but finding nothing.
however, i am happier than i have been in months. i didnt realize how much my house was making me depressed, but after moving out i feel 1000 times better. i feel as though i have had a huge weight lifted off of my shoulders and i am free. maybe it was just the fact that i couldnt really believe i was leaving, since i was still in my room with all of my things around me.
since ive returned from miami, almost 9 months ago, i have wanted to leave again. i love louisville and i love lots of people in louisville, but right now this is just not the place for me to be. i want to be meeting new people and learning new things. i want to be moving on with my life and i feel so stagnant in a house downtown where nothing i really want to do for the rest of my life is happening. i want to be learning how to grow food, build cob structures, figuring out how to teach children and sharing my life with people that will be around for a long time.
i am one of those people that feeds off of positive energy from other people in order to learn and i havent been exposed to that here in louisville in a long time. it's no fault of anyone who lives here, and i will miss so many of them so much. i know what is best for me and i believe that i need to be traveling and learning right now. i have every intention of coming back to louisville, at least for a little while, before buying land somewhere.
i feel so co-dependent in this city. there are a lot of great things to be said for collective living, but one of the downfalls is the fact that you always have people around you to take care of you and and its hard to make your own decisions. right now is time for me to be making my own decisions about what my life is going to become in a couple of years and that isnt really a decision that needs to be made collectively.
this journal entry is the best description of where i am coming from right now. however, it is still a little off because i am having problems communicating my needs and desires without feeling/sounding selfish.
on a lighter note, kate is coming home on sunday!!
dave is coming home on wednesday!
i had an awesome time with rachel, dave, and marissa the other night...full of push pops and ceramic cats and the black waters of capitalism.