Low
I hope that I feel this way just because I'm overtired. We went to bed earlier than usual last night and I was a mess, I kept thinking bad things and had some rather disturbing images that wouldn't leave me alone. Stacy managed to get me to sleep eventually, but I woke up feeling pretty much the same.
I ought to feel good, I see my children today, but even that is making me rather anxious.
This is all part of a wider problem I think. Nothing new, I just don't know what I'm for any more, I don't have a long term goal other than just to be. I've been a very driven person for so many years and it doesn't seem enough just to 'be' for the sake of it. I try to give myself things to aim for, but I have no interest in most of them.
I'm sure that all will become clear at some point and that I'll find my guiding stars, but until then I'm rather floundering.
If I've learnt one thing this week it's that I must do less for now. I did actually decide not to do quite a few things yesterday too, but what I did was too much.
These damned hot flushes aren't helping either. They are still very frequent and intrusive.
I ought to feel good, I see my children today, but even that is making me rather anxious.
This is all part of a wider problem I think. Nothing new, I just don't know what I'm for any more, I don't have a long term goal other than just to be. I've been a very driven person for so many years and it doesn't seem enough just to 'be' for the sake of it. I try to give myself things to aim for, but I have no interest in most of them.
I'm sure that all will become clear at some point and that I'll find my guiding stars, but until then I'm rather floundering.
If I've learnt one thing this week it's that I must do less for now. I did actually decide not to do quite a few things yesterday too, but what I did was too much.
These damned hot flushes aren't helping either. They are still very frequent and intrusive.