(no subject)
I'm not sure when I stopped being afraid of the future. Probably some time when it actually got here, when I stopped having school to worry about. Maybe when I picked up one of Rin's tags, "real life is not for the faint of heart", and scrawled it in one of my notebooks.
Maybe when I realized I didn't have things so bad, except for the poisons inside my head.
So I'm making things because if I don't make things, I'll fall back into my own little hellhole. Because I'm still in it in some ways, as evidenced by my complete inability to deal with volunteering today.
I have a job interview on Tuesday. I hope I get the job, because I need the kick in the ass to straighten out the twists and turns in headspace into something that can hack reality again.
My motivation levels are so much higher when I'm doing something for pay, whether that pay is money, someone else's story, or something else. No wonder I'm so fascinated by trade. It's part of what makes me tick best.
Maybe when I realized I didn't have things so bad, except for the poisons inside my head.
So I'm making things because if I don't make things, I'll fall back into my own little hellhole. Because I'm still in it in some ways, as evidenced by my complete inability to deal with volunteering today.
I have a job interview on Tuesday. I hope I get the job, because I need the kick in the ass to straighten out the twists and turns in headspace into something that can hack reality again.
My motivation levels are so much higher when I'm doing something for pay, whether that pay is money, someone else's story, or something else. No wonder I'm so fascinated by trade. It's part of what makes me tick best.