been a loooong time
so since i last wrote. i have been through quite a lot.
i denounced life, not literally, but i was yelling at god for making me so sad sometimes and letting me be here still.
he halfway answered my prayers.
I ALMOST GOT HIT BY A MOTHERFUCKING TRAIN.
literally. i missed by three seconds. i am the luckiest motherfucker in the world.
i have since had a HUGE HUGE attitude adjustment.
theres a major and huge difference between wanting to die and not wanting to deal with things. i have since realized this, moreso than fleeting thoughts.
i am okay. OKAY IM OKAY! so no pitying "ohhh my goshsweetieyoupoorthingareyouokiloveyoublablabla" comments.
please, no.
things that i was initially upset about are still there.
being so alone and trying to deal with that is always a problem. but its not so upsetting.
i still have my moments.
my freak out moments if you will.
but im sort of dealing with them and will seek help.
IM IN A PLAY! well have been since january. its ONCE ON THIS ISLAND!!! march 12-16. come see it!
i have great friends. the greatest friends.
i am just starting to feel like a NORMAL college student.
like a normal person.
like a normal human being.
i dont hate everything and everyone(including myself)
things are good.
ps and im going to london next semester.
HOLY SHIT!