Memoirs of a B-school student #23: One more semester down, 3.5 months of life lost?
Just finished my last final exam, so I'm officially done with the semester. After getting past the 1/3 mark of the program, I can't help but think a little bit about how things are going. This has particularly been on my mind in the last week as I've gotten closer to a break and a chance to catch up on the neglected parts of my life.
The thing is, I've gotten so behind on things that I think I've forgotten how to live the rest of my life. I'm so consumed with work and school that I've really become like a little hermit. I haven't seen my mom and sister since Easter (when was that, three weeks ago?) and my dad and other sister in even longer, and I haven't talked with most of my friends in I don't even know how long. I have a difficult time even carrying on conversations with people because I just don't know what to say. I'm so disconnected and so behind on their lives. I know now more than ever how much work it takes to maintain friendships, and I fear that I'm not keeping up my end of the bargain.
The worst of it is, I just don't know how to juggle it all. The only solution to this problem is time management. But even if I do this well, there are still times when I'm burnt out so much and just need a break from it all, and the time management doesn't allow for non-scheduled breaks. There simply isn't enough time for everything, so I really feel like everything I do is just mediocre. I'm a mediocre student, a mediocre employee, a mediocre event leader, a mediocre family member, and a mediocre friend with mediocre health. And the worst thing at all? I'm a terrible date. This is one area that has gotten ZERO from me in the last few months. Not that I don't want to see anything happen in that area, but I guess when you're overextended, exhausted, cranky, without time, and without anything interesting to say, it seems that the last thing you want to do is try to make an impression on someone. *sigh*
And so, even though I'm glad to have a week or two off, it feels a little daunting to be outside my little hermit comfort zone. Now I have to face all the other things I've neglected in my life, and the fear that I don't think I know what to do about them anymore.
Two more years of school might go by quickly, but perhaps not quickly enough.
The thing is, I've gotten so behind on things that I think I've forgotten how to live the rest of my life. I'm so consumed with work and school that I've really become like a little hermit. I haven't seen my mom and sister since Easter (when was that, three weeks ago?) and my dad and other sister in even longer, and I haven't talked with most of my friends in I don't even know how long. I have a difficult time even carrying on conversations with people because I just don't know what to say. I'm so disconnected and so behind on their lives. I know now more than ever how much work it takes to maintain friendships, and I fear that I'm not keeping up my end of the bargain.
The worst of it is, I just don't know how to juggle it all. The only solution to this problem is time management. But even if I do this well, there are still times when I'm burnt out so much and just need a break from it all, and the time management doesn't allow for non-scheduled breaks. There simply isn't enough time for everything, so I really feel like everything I do is just mediocre. I'm a mediocre student, a mediocre employee, a mediocre event leader, a mediocre family member, and a mediocre friend with mediocre health. And the worst thing at all? I'm a terrible date. This is one area that has gotten ZERO from me in the last few months. Not that I don't want to see anything happen in that area, but I guess when you're overextended, exhausted, cranky, without time, and without anything interesting to say, it seems that the last thing you want to do is try to make an impression on someone. *sigh*
And so, even though I'm glad to have a week or two off, it feels a little daunting to be outside my little hermit comfort zone. Now I have to face all the other things I've neglected in my life, and the fear that I don't think I know what to do about them anymore.
Two more years of school might go by quickly, but perhaps not quickly enough.