Havent been online for a while...again...
...so this time it was coos of two things.
1) Problems with sog. She suddenly started screaming in pain whenever trying to walk downstairs. We took her to the vets on Monday. He confirmed shes got dementia. He said that some parts of her brain were not functioning properly causing it. This can lead on to a stroke at some point and usually with dogs the first stroke they have is their last. He seemed to think her pain was either arthritis or some part of the dementia tricking her mind.
Im so scared of her dying now. She was always closest with my brother, but since he moved out about 2 and a half years ago she got closer to me, and with the dementia shell lie by me, she stays outside my bedroom when mums out until im up. Weve cuddled so much and now im just so scared but shes like 13 now and I knew this would happen sooner or later. Its just she was always such a young dog health wise and she even still looks only about 3 years old. Weve had her since I was 7. I found it so hard to cope last weekend when she was in pain and stuff, I was crying like nearly all the time especially since my brother and mum think that this is it for her. I think im coming to terms with it better now. I think.
2) Lost the internet. Actually the whole computer was wiped so I lost all music, photographs (including my brothers wedding photos) all my received files, my programs...well so everything. Even my score on minesweeper which ill never be able to acheive again (and dunno how I acheived it in the first place lol). Finally starting to get things back now hurrah!
Ok so lifewise:
Me and mum have bought a tourer caravan and we're looking at sites to put it on tomorrow w00t!
Also we made a potentially huge decision today. Potentially huge cos weve decided it in the past and not followed through with it, if we do this time than its gonna be really huge. Basically weve decided we're gonna get the house ready and ourselves ready to move back to north devon next year. Mums gonna get a higher qualification for her job which should make it easier getting one down there although she knows people whod happily have her back working for em (just not as much money as shes on now). Im gonna get as many ucas points as I can so maybe next year i'll go to exeter uni. So if we did move it wouldnt be until like July next year. The only thing thatd stop us moving is if I made more friends here or started seeing someone which frankly I dont see either happening, they didnt for the last few years so they probably wouldnt now.
This could be a potentially great thing for both of us. The main thing for me would be seeing my dad more and his side of the family. So far in the past 18 months ive seen him for about 12 hours. Its really hard seeing him and hes changed their spare room cos theyre gonna be moving out so I cant exactly stay with him and my stepmother now anyway. Also I think he feels more comfortable seeing me when we're just going out shopping or for meals, I think he finds it more manageable than actually having me stay there. Also north devon has always been half my home, in my heart anyway, but I never got to experience properly living down there...we moved here when I was 2. I hardly see my family up here and would probably see them more if I was down there cos theyd be coming to stay all the time lol. Plus it might force me to make some firm decisions in my life
We always said we'd move back, my whole life, so maybe this time we'll follow it through. It certainly feels a lot more certain than in the past.
Anyway thats it for now and sorrow for the long long long post. Love you all xxxxxxx
1) Problems with sog. She suddenly started screaming in pain whenever trying to walk downstairs. We took her to the vets on Monday. He confirmed shes got dementia. He said that some parts of her brain were not functioning properly causing it. This can lead on to a stroke at some point and usually with dogs the first stroke they have is their last. He seemed to think her pain was either arthritis or some part of the dementia tricking her mind.
Im so scared of her dying now. She was always closest with my brother, but since he moved out about 2 and a half years ago she got closer to me, and with the dementia shell lie by me, she stays outside my bedroom when mums out until im up. Weve cuddled so much and now im just so scared but shes like 13 now and I knew this would happen sooner or later. Its just she was always such a young dog health wise and she even still looks only about 3 years old. Weve had her since I was 7. I found it so hard to cope last weekend when she was in pain and stuff, I was crying like nearly all the time especially since my brother and mum think that this is it for her. I think im coming to terms with it better now. I think.
2) Lost the internet. Actually the whole computer was wiped so I lost all music, photographs (including my brothers wedding photos) all my received files, my programs...well so everything. Even my score on minesweeper which ill never be able to acheive again (and dunno how I acheived it in the first place lol). Finally starting to get things back now hurrah!
Ok so lifewise:
Me and mum have bought a tourer caravan and we're looking at sites to put it on tomorrow w00t!
Also we made a potentially huge decision today. Potentially huge cos weve decided it in the past and not followed through with it, if we do this time than its gonna be really huge. Basically weve decided we're gonna get the house ready and ourselves ready to move back to north devon next year. Mums gonna get a higher qualification for her job which should make it easier getting one down there although she knows people whod happily have her back working for em (just not as much money as shes on now). Im gonna get as many ucas points as I can so maybe next year i'll go to exeter uni. So if we did move it wouldnt be until like July next year. The only thing thatd stop us moving is if I made more friends here or started seeing someone which frankly I dont see either happening, they didnt for the last few years so they probably wouldnt now.
This could be a potentially great thing for both of us. The main thing for me would be seeing my dad more and his side of the family. So far in the past 18 months ive seen him for about 12 hours. Its really hard seeing him and hes changed their spare room cos theyre gonna be moving out so I cant exactly stay with him and my stepmother now anyway. Also I think he feels more comfortable seeing me when we're just going out shopping or for meals, I think he finds it more manageable than actually having me stay there. Also north devon has always been half my home, in my heart anyway, but I never got to experience properly living down there...we moved here when I was 2. I hardly see my family up here and would probably see them more if I was down there cos theyd be coming to stay all the time lol. Plus it might force me to make some firm decisions in my life
We always said we'd move back, my whole life, so maybe this time we'll follow it through. It certainly feels a lot more certain than in the past.
Anyway thats it for now and sorrow for the long long long post. Love you all xxxxxxx