The Stars
I've been looking at the stars a lot lately. I've never really took the time to do so, and when I did glance up, it was always back home, where the sky was drowned out by the lights from BWI, Baltimore, and DC. I never knew there were so many. I never really had the chance to sit outside on the pourch, and just stare into the sky, and think and wonder. Think about my life, think about the people that make me happy, think about the times that I have been my happiest, and the times that I have been in the darkest hole. Think about the ups and downs I have been through. Think about Rob. Wonder about the future, wonder if there is someone else looking at the same stars, wonder if there is someone looking down on me from one of those stars.
It's one of the better things about my new town. My hiatus home, as people back home say, since they know I will be back there before we know it. There are a few things that I like about this town. I like my job, and even though it's just a retail job, and i'm making a shit paycheck at it, I love the people I work with, and I have so much fun when I'm there. I've learned how much nicer people really are in the south, in the small towns, and how greedy, and selfish and bitchy people are in the north. Down here they're patient, they're kind, and they don't take the littlest things for granted, they say "thank you" for the smallest things, they smile, and 90% of them say "God Bless" instead of "See You Later" when they leave. It's easy to remember a face. It's all helping me out a little bit.
But, even with that, I'm still lonely, and as I sit looking at the stars I want to be back home. I want to be back where I can't make up my mind on what I want to do with my life. I want to be back where I get a phone call at 11 in the morning instructing me to get in the shower and get dressed because it's time for a coffee run, and then sit at starbucks for hours talking about nothing, but loving every minute of it. I want to be back where I get a phone call at 4 in the afternoon from a certain singer saying a shitty bar show has been added to call everyone and let them know, and I still have time to get there and see my friends, even though most of the time, we are scared to touch anything, we are all happy to be experiencing it together, and he's even more happy that we are there to experience it with him. I want to be back where I can see my family on Tuesdays and Sundays and any other day of the week I want to. And I want to be back where I don't have time to sit for endless hours thinking.
I have a love/hate relationship with the stars. As much as I love to look at them, and as much as I love to see how many there really are, I hate them for opening my mind to all of these thoughts and wonders.
It's one of the better things about my new town. My hiatus home, as people back home say, since they know I will be back there before we know it. There are a few things that I like about this town. I like my job, and even though it's just a retail job, and i'm making a shit paycheck at it, I love the people I work with, and I have so much fun when I'm there. I've learned how much nicer people really are in the south, in the small towns, and how greedy, and selfish and bitchy people are in the north. Down here they're patient, they're kind, and they don't take the littlest things for granted, they say "thank you" for the smallest things, they smile, and 90% of them say "God Bless" instead of "See You Later" when they leave. It's easy to remember a face. It's all helping me out a little bit.
But, even with that, I'm still lonely, and as I sit looking at the stars I want to be back home. I want to be back where I can't make up my mind on what I want to do with my life. I want to be back where I get a phone call at 11 in the morning instructing me to get in the shower and get dressed because it's time for a coffee run, and then sit at starbucks for hours talking about nothing, but loving every minute of it. I want to be back where I get a phone call at 4 in the afternoon from a certain singer saying a shitty bar show has been added to call everyone and let them know, and I still have time to get there and see my friends, even though most of the time, we are scared to touch anything, we are all happy to be experiencing it together, and he's even more happy that we are there to experience it with him. I want to be back where I can see my family on Tuesdays and Sundays and any other day of the week I want to. And I want to be back where I don't have time to sit for endless hours thinking.
I have a love/hate relationship with the stars. As much as I love to look at them, and as much as I love to see how many there really are, I hate them for opening my mind to all of these thoughts and wonders.