shopping with the brother.
so i took my brother shopping with me yesterday. actually it was more like i went shopping and he was just with me because he had no choice and had to go wherever i went. he's ummm interesting to go shopping with i must say. so we started off in barnes and noble and i was looking for a book and i gave the guy the name of the author and the name of one of the books by that author so it was easier to seach for. so i told the guy that the book's name was "club dumas" and my brother really loudly says "oh don't you mean that club dumASS, that you're reading?" wow...really mature a.j. thanks. hey beavis, why don't you go find butthead and go get your shits somewhere other than in my face. how old are you again? almost 20? so as we were going through the stacks, i was following behind him and i guess i was nagging him ( i don't think i was) but he turns and was like ...."if you don't pipe down i will rip your face off!" loudly cuz....well why not? well as i rounded the corner after him i saw the kid sitting against the stack had stopped reading and looked up wide-eyed with this shit-eating grin on his face, because he had heard the whole thing. and all i could do was laugh. so i told him after we left that some kid heard him say how he was going to rip my face off and he starts laughing and said that he does that all the time. for example he and our "adopted brother"steve were at in/out or some fast food restaurant that at any given time is most likely full of people. and steve was getting on his case about something and he told steve...loudly... that if they wanted to get real then guess what ... "i hate your boyfriend steve!" poor steve.
SO THEN...we go to tj maxx because i'm looking for a black handbag and i'm searching the stacks trying to find one that is perfect...we all know how that is. i'm talking to him but he's playing the gameboy and following me and i finally realize that i'm really just talking to myself. so as i finish up he turns the gameboy off and tells me okay he's ready for me and i have his undivided attention now. thanks aj but i'm ready to go. as i leave i see the perfect handbag unfortunately i'm not willing to pay that much. but it's tj maxx and in two weeks if it's still there the price will have gone down. so we get into the car and i tell him i should have hidden the purse. and by hidden we all know that means hiding it in the stacks so no other people will find it and buy it before you do. but a.j., bless his heart was like yeah that's a good idea i'll even watch the door for you and make sure no one sees you, don't worry. i paused...WHAT? i tell him i didn't mean shoplifting! he paused....WHAT? so i explain what i meant by "hiding" the purse and it clicks and he says...."OOOOH....you should have just jacked it, it would have been easier and i would have watched the door." ....sigh......why me? i can only imagine what a whole day of real shopping would be like with him. i might try it sometime.
so i was looking at this comic crankshaft and the crochety old bus driver's daughter was looking at someone's baby and turned to her dad as said "oh isn't he just beautiful!" and he said " well they all look like winners at the starting line." i found it hilarious....and yet i found myself in total agreement with him. i wonder if i'm becoming crochety in my old age. hmmm........
SO THEN...we go to tj maxx because i'm looking for a black handbag and i'm searching the stacks trying to find one that is perfect...we all know how that is. i'm talking to him but he's playing the gameboy and following me and i finally realize that i'm really just talking to myself. so as i finish up he turns the gameboy off and tells me okay he's ready for me and i have his undivided attention now. thanks aj but i'm ready to go. as i leave i see the perfect handbag unfortunately i'm not willing to pay that much. but it's tj maxx and in two weeks if it's still there the price will have gone down. so we get into the car and i tell him i should have hidden the purse. and by hidden we all know that means hiding it in the stacks so no other people will find it and buy it before you do. but a.j., bless his heart was like yeah that's a good idea i'll even watch the door for you and make sure no one sees you, don't worry. i paused...WHAT? i tell him i didn't mean shoplifting! he paused....WHAT? so i explain what i meant by "hiding" the purse and it clicks and he says...."OOOOH....you should have just jacked it, it would have been easier and i would have watched the door." ....sigh......why me? i can only imagine what a whole day of real shopping would be like with him. i might try it sometime.
so i was looking at this comic crankshaft and the crochety old bus driver's daughter was looking at someone's baby and turned to her dad as said "oh isn't he just beautiful!" and he said " well they all look like winners at the starting line." i found it hilarious....and yet i found myself in total agreement with him. i wonder if i'm becoming crochety in my old age. hmmm........