Deadbeat Baby Daddys
I spent $100 on my children today at Walmart. I came to the conclusion that their fathers need to start helping me. I am going to stay on Jay about him getting a job and supporting his son as that is what Patrick deserves. Thats an ongoing dead end run, but I will stay on him nonetheless. I will never let him off the hook.
Tabitha's father is named Rick. I got pregnant by complete accident. Neither one of us wanted a baby at that time. Yes, I love babies and have always wanted them. I just would not have tried to have one at that time.
When we realized I was probably pregnant he at first told me he wanted me to have an abortion but that he really wasn't "a big fan of that." Then he started to rant and rave about all kinds of shit. Threatening my life if I didn't do what he wanted me to do. "You can't be pregnant. I don't know how else to say this to you. You just can't." He told me how his family would disown him, his ex wife could not find out, etc. I made the decision to get the hell away from him, I left one day last January and have not spoken to him since. I went on to deliver a healthy baby girl in September and made no attempt to contact him.
Over the past few days I have started to wonder if I am doing my daughter a disservice in doing this. Honestly, I think she is better off not knowing him, but he should still have to pay. He is just as guilty as I am in creating her. He should bear some of the responsibility of that. Guilt is the wrong word. I love my little girl more than life itself. I am so glad that I didnt stay with him and have the abortion he wanted me to have. All my life I wanted a baby girl. Every baby that was born my younger brothers, my cousins, my first born.... were all boys. The closest thing I ever had to a baby girl were my dolls. Rick made the mistake of telling me before I even missed my period a. I was definitely pregnant and b. it was definitely a girl. He knew this because he was that in tuned to his sperm I guess. When he turned out to be right about a., I couldn't help but wonder if he was also right about b. Given that he is the father of two girls, I started to think this might be my chance for a long awaited baby girl.
The main thing that kept me from being happy about this pregnancy was my three year old son Patrick not living with me. I was in the midst of a great fight to get custody of him back. But I did it. I got my son back in August and gave birth to my daughter Tabitha at the beginning of September, all in a matter of 22 days.
But I am taking care of these kids. I am a good mother. If I had the resources most people have, like a husband, a car and license, a house, a normal mother, I might be the worlds greatest mother.
Welfare wants me to give them Rick's information so the Department of Revenue (DOR) can hunt him down for child support. When I was pregnant I wanted nothing to do with that. I didnt want him to even know we existed. He said some pretty horrible things to me before I left him.
But since I have been supporting these kids I realize he deserves to pay. There is still a very significant part of me that want this man as far away from my daughter as possible. I'll let DOR chase after him for support but I will fight him on ever being a part of her life.
I always wanted my daughter, he never did. From the moment I found out I was pregnant with both my kids I wanted them. Circumstances made me think about not having her. I thought I might never get Patrick back if I had my daughter. I could never send my baby girl off with anyone who doesnt celebrate her beautiful existence.
This is definitely something I need to take up with my therapist. If I ever finish introducing all of these characters that is. I hate making major decisions, I wish there was some formula for figuring them out.
Tabitha's father is named Rick. I got pregnant by complete accident. Neither one of us wanted a baby at that time. Yes, I love babies and have always wanted them. I just would not have tried to have one at that time.
When we realized I was probably pregnant he at first told me he wanted me to have an abortion but that he really wasn't "a big fan of that." Then he started to rant and rave about all kinds of shit. Threatening my life if I didn't do what he wanted me to do. "You can't be pregnant. I don't know how else to say this to you. You just can't." He told me how his family would disown him, his ex wife could not find out, etc. I made the decision to get the hell away from him, I left one day last January and have not spoken to him since. I went on to deliver a healthy baby girl in September and made no attempt to contact him.
Over the past few days I have started to wonder if I am doing my daughter a disservice in doing this. Honestly, I think she is better off not knowing him, but he should still have to pay. He is just as guilty as I am in creating her. He should bear some of the responsibility of that. Guilt is the wrong word. I love my little girl more than life itself. I am so glad that I didnt stay with him and have the abortion he wanted me to have. All my life I wanted a baby girl. Every baby that was born my younger brothers, my cousins, my first born.... were all boys. The closest thing I ever had to a baby girl were my dolls. Rick made the mistake of telling me before I even missed my period a. I was definitely pregnant and b. it was definitely a girl. He knew this because he was that in tuned to his sperm I guess. When he turned out to be right about a., I couldn't help but wonder if he was also right about b. Given that he is the father of two girls, I started to think this might be my chance for a long awaited baby girl.
The main thing that kept me from being happy about this pregnancy was my three year old son Patrick not living with me. I was in the midst of a great fight to get custody of him back. But I did it. I got my son back in August and gave birth to my daughter Tabitha at the beginning of September, all in a matter of 22 days.
But I am taking care of these kids. I am a good mother. If I had the resources most people have, like a husband, a car and license, a house, a normal mother, I might be the worlds greatest mother.
Welfare wants me to give them Rick's information so the Department of Revenue (DOR) can hunt him down for child support. When I was pregnant I wanted nothing to do with that. I didnt want him to even know we existed. He said some pretty horrible things to me before I left him.
But since I have been supporting these kids I realize he deserves to pay. There is still a very significant part of me that want this man as far away from my daughter as possible. I'll let DOR chase after him for support but I will fight him on ever being a part of her life.
I always wanted my daughter, he never did. From the moment I found out I was pregnant with both my kids I wanted them. Circumstances made me think about not having her. I thought I might never get Patrick back if I had my daughter. I could never send my baby girl off with anyone who doesnt celebrate her beautiful existence.
This is definitely something I need to take up with my therapist. If I ever finish introducing all of these characters that is. I hate making major decisions, I wish there was some formula for figuring them out.