All you need is one person...
Lost was killer tonight. I love the show and am so disappointed that the season is over. We actually have to wait another 9 months for the next season. Yuck.
Anyway ,that bastard James was supposed to come over tonight and he just couldn’t handle being too tired to wake up for work. Whatever. He called to ask us to go to Chuck E. Cheese with him, and then cancelled because his daughter’s mother wanted to keep her home Friday night. I sort of told my mother she could take Patrick on Saturday night, but I would keep him home if they were definitely going on Saturday. Anyway it’s just difficult when people don’t commit to plans. Especially when dealing with a disappointed four year old. Especially when dealing with your disappointed four year old.
I have come to the conclusion that as Penny told Desmond on Lost: “All you need is one person… to love you… and you have that person.” Patrick has one person who loves him completely and that he can completely count on. I will be here for him no matter what. I look at pictures of his smiling face and I will never put any person or thing ahead of him.
As strong as my feelings for Sawyer might be, or my fantasies of us all being a happy family, of him being the father my children have never had. In the end Patrick is more important. Even though it does feel good to be in love that way, to be touched, to kiss someone again. It must be nice to do things the right way. To have children with someone you love, to be able to get laid and be a mama all at the same time. I guess some people really do have it all. But there kids could never be as beautiful and special as mine. And if I can’t have things the right way then I will take my babies anyway I can have them. Most people get divorced anyway.
It’s sad that I have so completely given up on true love at 29. At least with a guy anyway, I do know that I have true love with my children.
Sawyer’s last shot in Season 4 was him drinking rum with Juliet. James called that one pretty well, when we saw he wasn’t one of the Oceanic Six he had said that he would stay and hook up with Juliet, after we determined that him and Juliet would not end up together…any time as soon at least.