When "Attention Seeking" is 15 nights of hell...
As I move further away from those nights in September, I know the details of what I experienced are going to begin to fade and meld together. Until now, not even in the hospital, did I share the full extent of the things that I "experienced" as I tried to navigate fear, hopelessness, depression, and continued heartbreak. I am done keeping it in. Even if they never believe me. Let them think the worst of me, they always have and they always will.
I know I cowered on the floor.
I know I laid there afraid to go the hospital.
I know that I thought my mind was slipping.
That my world was ending.
Each day seemed worse.
To the best of my ability, this is how the stories and "people" shifted and changed to the point where I no longer knew who to trust.
Yet I still held out hope...