Fic! (er, sort of)
Twenty Random Facts about Moaning Myrtle
Author: beckaandzac
Characters/Pairings: just Myrtle and her dreams
Rating: PG-ish for innuendo and requisite angst...
Word Count: 850
Disclaimer: not my characters, not my world, no money made
Note: for iulia_linnea‘s HP Character Random Facts/Things Meme Compilation and Fic [and Art] Fest. Yes, I’m turning it in at the last possible moment. I’m a college student, what do you expect?
1. Myrtle was sorted into Slytherin almost as soon as the Sorting Hat was placed on her head, which suited her just fine as they seemed to be the house with the highest number of fanciable boys. Not that any of them fancied her in return, oh, no, not Myrtle with her big glasses and her ugly mousy hair and no chest at all.
2. Myrtle had to start wearing glasses at age six because of severe near-sightedness and a stigmatism. She kicked her mum all the way home from the opti-wizard’s office, but wore her glasses anyway, after her older brother warned her she’d go totally blind if she didn’t, and have to carry an ugly white cane like the old muggle down the road.
3. Other, later warnings from her brother about things that would make her go blind were not heeded.
4. Myrtle had a long scar running over her left buttock from an early encounter with a particularly large, particularly unfriendly bowtruckle. It was rather a funny story, and she would have liked to have someone ask about the scar so she could tell it and seem clever. Unfortunately, she did not live long enough to give anyone good reason to look at her left buttock. And now no one ever bothers to ask her anything about herself anymore, except that nice Harry Potter. Oh, he is a sweet boy…
5. Olive Hornby didn’t always hate Myrtle. In fact, they were good friends for a while and shared quite a nice kiss at the start of third year, down by the lake when the leaves were just starting to turn. Olive’s curly dark hair had been blowing everywhere, and Myrtle had put her hand up to touch it, and just then Olive had turned and kissed her. Apparently, she hadn’t liked it too well though, as after that she didn’t spend time with Myrtle anymore, and started dating that stupid fifth-year Ravenclaw who made her cry all the time, even though he had gorgeous cheekbones.
6. Before she came to Hogwarts, Myrtle had a pet Crup named Augustus. But during her first year at school, a muggle in an automobile murdered him, and the headmaster wouldn’t even let her go home to hold a funeral.
7. Myrtle’s best subject was transfiguration, but she wasn’t very good at it.
8. Myrtle’s favourite pastime was writing poetry, but she wasn’t very good at that either.
9. After she died, Myrtle spoke to a disembodied voice which gave her a variety of choices for her afterlife, but she decided she’d really rather just stay at Hogwarts, since at least she couldn’t be called fat if she was completely weightless.
10. Myrtle misses eating apple crumble, now that she’s dead.
11. You would be very, very impressed if Myrtle told you her family name, as she was one of the last of an ancient and well-respected line. But no one gives a hippogriff’s arse about her family when they’re throwing things at her, do they?
12. Myrtle has never forgiven Ginny Weasley for the book that fell through her head in 1992.
13. Myrtle had a bit of a crush on Tom Riddle, the Slytherin prefect her last two years at Hogwarts. She still hears bits and pieces about what he’s up to, and though she’s proud that someone she knew has gone on to be so widely feared and respected, she’s been sorry to hear he’s not so handsome now as he was at school.
14. Myrtle also has a bit of a crush on Harry Potter, though it is sort of a doomed romance, what with her being dead and his being alive-well, so far anyway.
15. Myrtle was very sorry to hear that Harry was dating the girl who’d hit her with the book, and was quite pleased when they broke up.
16. Myrtle finds sitting in the U-bend quite comforting. It reminds her of the little crawlspace under the porch where she used to hide as a child when her parents were fighting.
17. Before she died, Myrtle thought she might like to work for the Daily Prophet, mostly so that all the people who laughed at her would read her words over their cornflakes every morning and feel sorry for not being nicer.
18. Before she died, Myrtle imagined she would grow out of her awkward phase, get married to a handsome, brilliant man, have a herd of handsome, brilliant children, and perhaps switch from news-writing to a sweet little homemaker’s column about making jam and amusing toddlers on rainy days. The people who hated her would go from sorry to jealous then.
19. Myrtle always thought she would name her first handsome, brilliant child “Augustus” after her childhood Crup, who was handsome and brilliant in his own right.
20. Myrtle was disappointed to learn that Crups, like non-magic dogs, hardly ever become ghosts. Ghosts are made from regret, and dogs rarely have any regrets. Sometimes Myrtle wishes she had been like that, and squeezes herself safely into the U-bend until the feeling passes.
Feedback is, of course, welcome. (Although, as I will be at a committee meeting in Seattle for the rest of the weekend, I may not respond before Monday.)
Author: beckaandzac
Characters/Pairings: just Myrtle and her dreams
Rating: PG-ish for innuendo and requisite angst...
Word Count: 850
Disclaimer: not my characters, not my world, no money made
Note: for iulia_linnea‘s HP Character Random Facts/Things Meme Compilation and Fic [and Art] Fest. Yes, I’m turning it in at the last possible moment. I’m a college student, what do you expect?
1. Myrtle was sorted into Slytherin almost as soon as the Sorting Hat was placed on her head, which suited her just fine as they seemed to be the house with the highest number of fanciable boys. Not that any of them fancied her in return, oh, no, not Myrtle with her big glasses and her ugly mousy hair and no chest at all.
2. Myrtle had to start wearing glasses at age six because of severe near-sightedness and a stigmatism. She kicked her mum all the way home from the opti-wizard’s office, but wore her glasses anyway, after her older brother warned her she’d go totally blind if she didn’t, and have to carry an ugly white cane like the old muggle down the road.
3. Other, later warnings from her brother about things that would make her go blind were not heeded.
4. Myrtle had a long scar running over her left buttock from an early encounter with a particularly large, particularly unfriendly bowtruckle. It was rather a funny story, and she would have liked to have someone ask about the scar so she could tell it and seem clever. Unfortunately, she did not live long enough to give anyone good reason to look at her left buttock. And now no one ever bothers to ask her anything about herself anymore, except that nice Harry Potter. Oh, he is a sweet boy…
5. Olive Hornby didn’t always hate Myrtle. In fact, they were good friends for a while and shared quite a nice kiss at the start of third year, down by the lake when the leaves were just starting to turn. Olive’s curly dark hair had been blowing everywhere, and Myrtle had put her hand up to touch it, and just then Olive had turned and kissed her. Apparently, she hadn’t liked it too well though, as after that she didn’t spend time with Myrtle anymore, and started dating that stupid fifth-year Ravenclaw who made her cry all the time, even though he had gorgeous cheekbones.
6. Before she came to Hogwarts, Myrtle had a pet Crup named Augustus. But during her first year at school, a muggle in an automobile murdered him, and the headmaster wouldn’t even let her go home to hold a funeral.
7. Myrtle’s best subject was transfiguration, but she wasn’t very good at it.
8. Myrtle’s favourite pastime was writing poetry, but she wasn’t very good at that either.
9. After she died, Myrtle spoke to a disembodied voice which gave her a variety of choices for her afterlife, but she decided she’d really rather just stay at Hogwarts, since at least she couldn’t be called fat if she was completely weightless.
10. Myrtle misses eating apple crumble, now that she’s dead.
11. You would be very, very impressed if Myrtle told you her family name, as she was one of the last of an ancient and well-respected line. But no one gives a hippogriff’s arse about her family when they’re throwing things at her, do they?
12. Myrtle has never forgiven Ginny Weasley for the book that fell through her head in 1992.
13. Myrtle had a bit of a crush on Tom Riddle, the Slytherin prefect her last two years at Hogwarts. She still hears bits and pieces about what he’s up to, and though she’s proud that someone she knew has gone on to be so widely feared and respected, she’s been sorry to hear he’s not so handsome now as he was at school.
14. Myrtle also has a bit of a crush on Harry Potter, though it is sort of a doomed romance, what with her being dead and his being alive-well, so far anyway.
15. Myrtle was very sorry to hear that Harry was dating the girl who’d hit her with the book, and was quite pleased when they broke up.
16. Myrtle finds sitting in the U-bend quite comforting. It reminds her of the little crawlspace under the porch where she used to hide as a child when her parents were fighting.
17. Before she died, Myrtle thought she might like to work for the Daily Prophet, mostly so that all the people who laughed at her would read her words over their cornflakes every morning and feel sorry for not being nicer.
18. Before she died, Myrtle imagined she would grow out of her awkward phase, get married to a handsome, brilliant man, have a herd of handsome, brilliant children, and perhaps switch from news-writing to a sweet little homemaker’s column about making jam and amusing toddlers on rainy days. The people who hated her would go from sorry to jealous then.
19. Myrtle always thought she would name her first handsome, brilliant child “Augustus” after her childhood Crup, who was handsome and brilliant in his own right.
20. Myrtle was disappointed to learn that Crups, like non-magic dogs, hardly ever become ghosts. Ghosts are made from regret, and dogs rarely have any regrets. Sometimes Myrtle wishes she had been like that, and squeezes herself safely into the U-bend until the feeling passes.
Feedback is, of course, welcome. (Although, as I will be at a committee meeting in Seattle for the rest of the weekend, I may not respond before Monday.)