Ooh the possibilites...
So I think things are going to be ok. I've been having a hard time accepting that Jamie has a girl in Texas now and that he's not in love with me...he loves me but not in the way I want him to. I think I'm finally accepting it and it hasn't been easy, but he does help. He told me the other night that if Christina (that's the girl in Texas) tried to stop him from talking to me, he'd pick me over her, which is really helpful. I think that might have been an underlying fear that I had...but I didn't realize it before. So things are looking up I think.
New Year's Eve was awesome...best one ever I think. I went into Boston and stayed at Mo and Kristin's and I had a great time. I hadn't seen them since May so it was really good to see them. It was funny because my first kiss of the new year was Dave...and this is funny because I've made out with him before. I met him freshman year at the guys' apartment and we made out then too...we actually got sprayed with a fire extinguisher (not a particularly enjoyable experience haha), but I didn't even know he was going to be there and when Mo told me he was coming I reminded her of that and she laughed. But anyways...we made out and stuff and it was a good night. It was really good to see everyone...Sars was too funny when he saw me. He asked me where I'd been, so I told him Italy, and he was like what?! haha It's nice to know they noticed I was gone haha, didn't think they would. It's good to be home.
So Deb is making things a lot better too haha. She's going to try setting me up with this guy she knows...and from his myspace he's cute and he seems nice and he has a lot of movies. Deb even said he alphabetizes them haha so it could be good. I guess we'll see when she gets back from South Carolina. I'm going to be optimistic about it...and if it doesn't work out then it doesn't, at least I tried. So many people think that Jamie holds me back and he really doesn't...I just hadn't found anyone, and no one had found me...but now that I'm trying, maybe people will see that he hasn't held me back. Sure I kept hoping things would work out between him and me but they're obviously not now...maybe they could later on in life, but right now it's not working so I need to move on. I really do hate the thought that later on I'll be over him and he'll want to be with me and it'll be too late for him, but then again I just remind myself that I watch too many movies and that's not going to be the case at all haha. It's a nice thought that he'd want me one day...but it's more a dream than anything. I know that we'll always be great friends and we'll be there for each other no matter what...and I think that's more important to me than the thought of being with him. I'm just now realizing this and it's a good thing.
~Nicole
New Year's Eve was awesome...best one ever I think. I went into Boston and stayed at Mo and Kristin's and I had a great time. I hadn't seen them since May so it was really good to see them. It was funny because my first kiss of the new year was Dave...and this is funny because I've made out with him before. I met him freshman year at the guys' apartment and we made out then too...we actually got sprayed with a fire extinguisher (not a particularly enjoyable experience haha), but I didn't even know he was going to be there and when Mo told me he was coming I reminded her of that and she laughed. But anyways...we made out and stuff and it was a good night. It was really good to see everyone...Sars was too funny when he saw me. He asked me where I'd been, so I told him Italy, and he was like what?! haha It's nice to know they noticed I was gone haha, didn't think they would. It's good to be home.
So Deb is making things a lot better too haha. She's going to try setting me up with this guy she knows...and from his myspace he's cute and he seems nice and he has a lot of movies. Deb even said he alphabetizes them haha so it could be good. I guess we'll see when she gets back from South Carolina. I'm going to be optimistic about it...and if it doesn't work out then it doesn't, at least I tried. So many people think that Jamie holds me back and he really doesn't...I just hadn't found anyone, and no one had found me...but now that I'm trying, maybe people will see that he hasn't held me back. Sure I kept hoping things would work out between him and me but they're obviously not now...maybe they could later on in life, but right now it's not working so I need to move on. I really do hate the thought that later on I'll be over him and he'll want to be with me and it'll be too late for him, but then again I just remind myself that I watch too many movies and that's not going to be the case at all haha. It's a nice thought that he'd want me one day...but it's more a dream than anything. I know that we'll always be great friends and we'll be there for each other no matter what...and I think that's more important to me than the thought of being with him. I'm just now realizing this and it's a good thing.
~Nicole