over a year... why now?
just got done throwing up. damn this college thing! i'm seriously sick all the fucking time! people are starting to think i have a eating disorder... which i DON'T! anyway. i've been stressed out about everything. the show, classes, work (both of them), money, him, swimming... i'm not really sure what to do about everything at the monent. it just got so fucking bad that when i got home last night i just cried. yeah, i'm a stupid faggot like that. i miss Cara so fucking much. i just started tearing up as i typed her name. wow. but i've done so well ith everything so far and I've come a long way than where I was why is everything deciding to fuck up now? why when i told myself i was over it does it grab me back and make my stomach ache again? the gap is too big and can the space be filled? i hate this part and i hate thinking about it. they haven't seen in in over a year and seeing how none of them even talk to me anymore i doubt that they like me or even think of me... god damn it i sound fucking emo again! basicly if i let go of everything i've done will i actually be happy or will i end up crying myself asleep again?
maybe i'm not as much as a people person as i thought i was. fuck it.
maybe i'm not as much as a people person as i thought i was. fuck it.