"Some say that time changes, best friends can become strangers, i dont want that, no not for you!"
Fuck! i knew it was coming to this but i never wanted to admit it. i am glad that you had the strength to say it and therefore force it into reality. you are right. you are always right with everything you say. Whether that is a good or bad thing i have yet to figure out but in this instance although it hurts, it is good. U made me realize what i have truly done. This year, well no, since about december i have fucked everything up, i have wanted to get away form the people who knew me best. get away and try to start something new. a new life, a new way of life, but in doing that i lost 4 of the most important people to me. they are gone and by you saying that made me realize it. we have about 3 weeks and a summer left and i am terrified that i will not take this opertunity and second chance and blow it all away. I DONT WANT THAT! i know words are bullshit and mean nothing and it is our actions that define us. i want to change and i am determand to, i just hope that im not too late.
I just wanted a fresh start, a clean slate, even though i know you cant have that (i wrote an essay for english on this exact toplic) but i thought that if i started hanging out with different people i could do that. i could forget my past and everything that i had done, and this would help me get past it. in doing so, it didnt help me, it made me worse because i couldnt talk about it. the people who i am with dont know they dont know everything that you do! they werent there for the drunken talks sitting in your car! they werent there for any of it! the other night i saw how much i have changed and only now do i realize it. i was down the shore with my friends who i spent the entire summer with and i thought that we had gotten so close! they are some of my best freinds and i didnt want to be there! i had a fucking panic attack cause i wasnt comfertable there!! what the hell is wrong with me! it was so terrible to the point i wanted to leave! i locked myself in the back room and was crying! it was so weird and akward. i finally got over it and realized that these were my best friends and they cared about me but for some reason a part of me felt as if they were strangers and i was in an awful situation.
I want to start tonight! i appologize in advance for pushing my new friends out if i do this but i want the girls back i want it to work out! i want it to be perfect because, who doesnt!!!
<3
P.S. I didnt fufill my job discription! i wansnt there for when you needed me most!
(even though im saying you, sometimes it implies the one person it is directed at, others mean you in general LV JB AR JK!!
I just wanted a fresh start, a clean slate, even though i know you cant have that (i wrote an essay for english on this exact toplic) but i thought that if i started hanging out with different people i could do that. i could forget my past and everything that i had done, and this would help me get past it. in doing so, it didnt help me, it made me worse because i couldnt talk about it. the people who i am with dont know they dont know everything that you do! they werent there for the drunken talks sitting in your car! they werent there for any of it! the other night i saw how much i have changed and only now do i realize it. i was down the shore with my friends who i spent the entire summer with and i thought that we had gotten so close! they are some of my best freinds and i didnt want to be there! i had a fucking panic attack cause i wasnt comfertable there!! what the hell is wrong with me! it was so terrible to the point i wanted to leave! i locked myself in the back room and was crying! it was so weird and akward. i finally got over it and realized that these were my best friends and they cared about me but for some reason a part of me felt as if they were strangers and i was in an awful situation.
I want to start tonight! i appologize in advance for pushing my new friends out if i do this but i want the girls back i want it to work out! i want it to be perfect because, who doesnt!!!
<3
P.S. I didnt fufill my job discription! i wansnt there for when you needed me most!
(even though im saying you, sometimes it implies the one person it is directed at, others mean you in general LV JB AR JK!!