my perspective of love
Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens your heart and it means someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up this whole armor, for years, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life... You give them a piece of you. They don't ask for it. They do something dumb one day like kiss you, or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It tears you up inside and leaves you crying in the darkness, so even a simple phrase like "maybe we should just be friends" turns into a glass splinter working it's way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a body-hurt, a real hurt gets inside of you and rips you apart. And I ask why do we subject ourselves to this kinda of pain. Why do we allow a person to get so close to us when we know good and well that there is a strong possibility that this person maybe be the one to hurt you, this may be the person to cause that horrible pain. As I sit here typing this I am smiling because that same person who did fill me with horrible pain also for a time filled me with incredible happiness and joy. I wouldn't give up those feelings I had for him for anything. I am so very thankful that I got a chance to feel this way at all. Even though I still hurt and ache to be with him I know that for a time I was his and he was mine and whenever I think of that I smile. And I know that I'm ok.