some things.
1) this morning I woke up at 6:30 a.m., and was fully conscious and aware of the fact that my morning would be leisurely and pleasant if I got in the shower right then and stayed up. however, because I was still tired, I went back to sleep for another hour and a half, and left in a rush. I would really love to know how I could get myself to break that habit.
2) I am continuing, to the best of my ability, to stay on top of my finances. however, it seems that the more I do, the more problems present themselves, especially considering that I live in a communal situation and my finances are tied up with those of others, who also have their own financial problems. every few months, it seems, things reach the point of crisis. and I get through it, I scrape together the funds I need somehow. but it's frustrating. each time I think I've hit a stride, there is some sort of catastrophe. I guess this is just how everyone lives, except for rich people. but it's discouraging to think that I'll have to do this juggling act for the rest of my life. I'm coming to terms with it, though.
3) in the course of talking about money, casey and I discussed how, in many ways, it is a lot more expensive to be a woman than it is to be a man. and she suggested that tampons and pads should be provided by the government. and that in protest of the fact that they aren't, we should all just quit wearing them at all and see how everyone likes that. which is a hilarious idea. but it's interesting, I never thought about how we just blindly spend all that money every month on feminine products and accept it as a fact of life. I know there are reusable alternatives out there, which kind of gross me out in theory, but they are so much better for the environment and for one's financial well-being. hmmm.
4) I went to the doctor last week for the first time in about ten years. literally. yesterday I went to get the results of my bloodwork and ekg, and I was scared to death that I had all kinds of diseases. it turns out I have no diseases at all. and that my cholesterol is impressively good, as is my liver function (that one threw me for a loop, considering how much of a lush I was for about seven years there). so yes. I am healthy. and lucky. and I vow to take better care of myself and to see a doctor every year as long as I have insurance.
5) things with that guy are still going, although I have no clue where they are going. at some point maybe we need to have "the talk?" I mean, I know we do, because when nothing is defined there's all sorts of risk. but then there's risk anyway. and the talk is stupid. and I can't even imagine how to start it. as much of a sap as I am in writing, I am NOT AT ALL a sap in speaking. the idea of saying "where is this going?" just sounds laughable to me. I keep thinking about maybe trying to say it, but then when he's around we just have such a good time and everything seems fine and I'd rather not make things weird. so I think that for now I am just going to let things be, and enjoy them, with caution. and I can do that. I am not crazy anymore.
2) I am continuing, to the best of my ability, to stay on top of my finances. however, it seems that the more I do, the more problems present themselves, especially considering that I live in a communal situation and my finances are tied up with those of others, who also have their own financial problems. every few months, it seems, things reach the point of crisis. and I get through it, I scrape together the funds I need somehow. but it's frustrating. each time I think I've hit a stride, there is some sort of catastrophe. I guess this is just how everyone lives, except for rich people. but it's discouraging to think that I'll have to do this juggling act for the rest of my life. I'm coming to terms with it, though.
3) in the course of talking about money, casey and I discussed how, in many ways, it is a lot more expensive to be a woman than it is to be a man. and she suggested that tampons and pads should be provided by the government. and that in protest of the fact that they aren't, we should all just quit wearing them at all and see how everyone likes that. which is a hilarious idea. but it's interesting, I never thought about how we just blindly spend all that money every month on feminine products and accept it as a fact of life. I know there are reusable alternatives out there, which kind of gross me out in theory, but they are so much better for the environment and for one's financial well-being. hmmm.
4) I went to the doctor last week for the first time in about ten years. literally. yesterday I went to get the results of my bloodwork and ekg, and I was scared to death that I had all kinds of diseases. it turns out I have no diseases at all. and that my cholesterol is impressively good, as is my liver function (that one threw me for a loop, considering how much of a lush I was for about seven years there). so yes. I am healthy. and lucky. and I vow to take better care of myself and to see a doctor every year as long as I have insurance.
5) things with that guy are still going, although I have no clue where they are going. at some point maybe we need to have "the talk?" I mean, I know we do, because when nothing is defined there's all sorts of risk. but then there's risk anyway. and the talk is stupid. and I can't even imagine how to start it. as much of a sap as I am in writing, I am NOT AT ALL a sap in speaking. the idea of saying "where is this going?" just sounds laughable to me. I keep thinking about maybe trying to say it, but then when he's around we just have such a good time and everything seems fine and I'd rather not make things weird. so I think that for now I am just going to let things be, and enjoy them, with caution. and I can do that. I am not crazy anymore.