life: post brasil
so, brasil was amazing. i never thought i would love a country so much. i love the people, the culture, the food, and especially the church down there. the passion and dedication to the church is amazing, and especially refreshing after being confined to the bible belt for 23 years, where it is assumed that everyone goes to church and it is taken for granted. but even when i went to new york, which is outside of the bible belt, the passion was just not there. the first day we were down there we went to services on sunday, and i feel pretty confident in saying that it was the most fulfilling and inspiring worship i've ever attended. and it wasn't the message (definitely not, i mean we couldn't even understand it) it wasn't the singing (althought that was amazing) it wasn't the pretty building....it was the people. they had never met us, yet actually and sincerely were open and loving to us. a lot of times i feel like we pretend to be open and loving to strangers or newcomers, but this was the real deal.
so here are my life revelations resulting from this trip: (WARNING: this will probably sound like a holy roller testimony and sound a little crazy)
***for about five years friends of mine have been going to brasil, i have always wanted to go, but always doubted that i could raise the money, thought i needed to work, many other unfounded reasons. well, when we started talking about going on a mission trip with our church about a year and a half ago, we finally decided on guyana. well something happened with the church in guyana and we weren't able to go there, so like only a few months out of leaving we had no place to go. finally decided on brasil. i was excited, but i didn't even really think about all the opportunities that i have turned down to go to brasil. it just seems like God is saying "YOU NEED TO GO HERE" and there are many possible reasons why i think that i was supposed to go to brasil now. one is that i have been praying for an opportunity to go somewhere and work for a children's home/orphanage for a year or two (or maybe even more). the first thing one of the translators said to me was how the man from TN children's home had just been there and that they were finalizing the plans to build one in Belo. the lightbulb just went off in my head. so i talked to the F.H. about it and it might possibly be happening! (prayers are much appreciated) . Also it might have taken me so long to get to brasil because i wouldn't have been mature enough/had the mission mindset that i do now. It's just amazing how awesome God's timing is.
***I am meant to do mission work. that's it, plain and simple. this is something that i have reccently thought, but i believe it now. in my studies, we worked on the myers-briggs type indicator personality test, which although there's not a lot of psychometeric data on the validity of the test, i still like it. but i'm a INJT, and one of the characteristics of that trait is that in their job they feel like if they are now helping people then there work experience is invalid and a waste...and that is so true. and although i would hardly call being a preschool teacher a waste, cause i do feel like i help people, it's just not enough. yes i help people, but i help people who don't neccessarily need the help or who don't value the help i give. one of the traits is that need to feel needed and valuable in my work and i just don't in my job right now.
tonight was emily's wedding and it was the first time since i've been home that i have truely been glad to be home...and what made that feeling come back was i turned around and laura was basically licking the chocolate off her plate from the chocolate fountain. it was so funny because her eyes got big cause she realized she had been caught. i guess it's just the little everyday things like that that i'd miss the most if i moved off.