and now, the end is near...
Hello my pretties -
Well, it looks as tho this may be my last LJ entry. Don't worry, I don't have some terminal disease or anything, I just feel this has lost its luster... and it's another form of procrastination that I really don't need at work anymore! lol
But don't be sad - I wouldn't leave you w/out one last horrah!
Well, after months of debating, I've decided to stay here in York for another year. I'm not really sure it was the "right" decision, but things got down to the wire with timing and I had to make SOME decision. Of course, the path of least resistance always wins out: I stay here, keep my job, and other than an address change, things will pretty much stay smooth sailing. I found a pretty cool apartment downtown - a loft! It's probably about 1/2 the size of my current place, but I had spread myself out there to make it feel lived in, so I'm sure I could compact things a bit. So now I'll get to have my "city-living" experience that I've been looking forward to: I can walk to work and to local shops/eateries/bars, I'm close to little parks and the rail trail (running and biking), and 8/10 people I know in York live downtown so I can easily hang out with the crowd.
It will be fun, and I can make it work... but still I feel a bit lonely here. I hardly hang out with Adam any more - actually, we don't hang out at all. I called him last night, but of course thursdays are his night out with douche bag and so I'm not welcome. And I keep hearing from Alle that he's been trying to put the moves on her, so obviously his focus has shifted.... Mike is good on occasion - he invited me to go bowling w/ his friends on tuesday, but he likes to hang out more in Harrisburg than here, which isn't that bad, but some nights I just want to go out for a bit and not have to worry about crashing somewhere. Kevin is on and off and it seems like I only hear from him when there is a big party or something going on. Alle is my only girl friend, but her schedule is so jam-packed that there's hardly room for any spontanious fun - and she's weird about diet/exercise and never wants to drink or go out to eat? George only calls me when he wants some ass.
And for a brief few weeks I had a "love" interest. But he's consistently late, never takes the initiative to call or make plans, and just last night he stood me up. We mad plans to hang out on Monday, but no specifics. By 7:30 last night I was a little worried (of course, my ESP had told me this was going to happen by around noon... I have good instincts about these things) so I called him. He didn't answer. My pride told me not to leave a message and so I just made other plans. Even if he were to eventually call me by like 8-8:30, too little too late! But his away message at 8:30ish said "out and about somewhere doing some drinking - use the cell if you need to reach me" or something to that effect. So, it's not like some huge thing suddenly came up, but he simply decided he had better plans and didn't think it was necessary to let me know. Basically, I deserve a guy who adores me, is so excited about spending time with me that he makes plans weeks in advance and isn't afraid to call me and treats me as tho he actually likes me. I guess there is some truth to that book, "he's just not that in to you." He was cute, but other than that we had little in common - oh well!
So, in the words of White Snake - here I go again on my own... going down the only road I've ever known. Like a drifter, I was born to walk alone.
Here I am in York, full of Ghetto-ness and low-class males who only like skank-whores and NASCAR. I can't date older guys because they have too much baggage (my history reads ex-fiancees, ex-wives, children, and shared household pets) and I can't date the ones my age because they believe every girl should be 5'7", 36-24-34, blond, and puts out. All my friends here seem to have their own lives and I'm just on the periphery. So I guess it's back to being 10 and while the rest of the family is downstairs audibly enjoying a rousing card game for 4, I'm up in my room alone painting, building lego houses, and watching nick-at-nite. It's not so bad, I've always been able to entertain myself - I have quite the imagination. Perhaps I'll actually get good at painting, or take that photography class I've always talked about. I guess I'd better start liking cats tho - cuz it's looking more and more like my self-fulfilled prophecy of being the scary old lady at the end of the street who has 15 cats is going to come true!
au revoir peeps - I'm eventually going to delete this whole thing
Well, it looks as tho this may be my last LJ entry. Don't worry, I don't have some terminal disease or anything, I just feel this has lost its luster... and it's another form of procrastination that I really don't need at work anymore! lol
But don't be sad - I wouldn't leave you w/out one last horrah!
Well, after months of debating, I've decided to stay here in York for another year. I'm not really sure it was the "right" decision, but things got down to the wire with timing and I had to make SOME decision. Of course, the path of least resistance always wins out: I stay here, keep my job, and other than an address change, things will pretty much stay smooth sailing. I found a pretty cool apartment downtown - a loft! It's probably about 1/2 the size of my current place, but I had spread myself out there to make it feel lived in, so I'm sure I could compact things a bit. So now I'll get to have my "city-living" experience that I've been looking forward to: I can walk to work and to local shops/eateries/bars, I'm close to little parks and the rail trail (running and biking), and 8/10 people I know in York live downtown so I can easily hang out with the crowd.
It will be fun, and I can make it work... but still I feel a bit lonely here. I hardly hang out with Adam any more - actually, we don't hang out at all. I called him last night, but of course thursdays are his night out with douche bag and so I'm not welcome. And I keep hearing from Alle that he's been trying to put the moves on her, so obviously his focus has shifted.... Mike is good on occasion - he invited me to go bowling w/ his friends on tuesday, but he likes to hang out more in Harrisburg than here, which isn't that bad, but some nights I just want to go out for a bit and not have to worry about crashing somewhere. Kevin is on and off and it seems like I only hear from him when there is a big party or something going on. Alle is my only girl friend, but her schedule is so jam-packed that there's hardly room for any spontanious fun - and she's weird about diet/exercise and never wants to drink or go out to eat? George only calls me when he wants some ass.
And for a brief few weeks I had a "love" interest. But he's consistently late, never takes the initiative to call or make plans, and just last night he stood me up. We mad plans to hang out on Monday, but no specifics. By 7:30 last night I was a little worried (of course, my ESP had told me this was going to happen by around noon... I have good instincts about these things) so I called him. He didn't answer. My pride told me not to leave a message and so I just made other plans. Even if he were to eventually call me by like 8-8:30, too little too late! But his away message at 8:30ish said "out and about somewhere doing some drinking - use the cell if you need to reach me" or something to that effect. So, it's not like some huge thing suddenly came up, but he simply decided he had better plans and didn't think it was necessary to let me know. Basically, I deserve a guy who adores me, is so excited about spending time with me that he makes plans weeks in advance and isn't afraid to call me and treats me as tho he actually likes me. I guess there is some truth to that book, "he's just not that in to you." He was cute, but other than that we had little in common - oh well!
So, in the words of White Snake - here I go again on my own... going down the only road I've ever known. Like a drifter, I was born to walk alone.
Here I am in York, full of Ghetto-ness and low-class males who only like skank-whores and NASCAR. I can't date older guys because they have too much baggage (my history reads ex-fiancees, ex-wives, children, and shared household pets) and I can't date the ones my age because they believe every girl should be 5'7", 36-24-34, blond, and puts out. All my friends here seem to have their own lives and I'm just on the periphery. So I guess it's back to being 10 and while the rest of the family is downstairs audibly enjoying a rousing card game for 4, I'm up in my room alone painting, building lego houses, and watching nick-at-nite. It's not so bad, I've always been able to entertain myself - I have quite the imagination. Perhaps I'll actually get good at painting, or take that photography class I've always talked about. I guess I'd better start liking cats tho - cuz it's looking more and more like my self-fulfilled prophecy of being the scary old lady at the end of the street who has 15 cats is going to come true!
au revoir peeps - I'm eventually going to delete this whole thing