(no subject)
Okay. In my quiet time today, I read Psalm 32:5 -- "Then I acknowledged my sin to you and did not cover up my iniquity. I said, 'I will confess my transgressions to the LORD' and you forgave the guilt of my sin". I also recalled the cross-reference of 1John 1:9 -- "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness". It got me to thinking...this all talks about CONFESSING our sins. What about being truely sorry for them? I confess that I know what I did is wrong...but I feel no remorse/sorrow for it. Does that mean I am not forgiven? Am I even really asking forgiveness??
I heard on one of the Christian stations yesterday that those who are held in the palm of the Devil's hand are those that feel guilt and condemnation. Those that are free of him and in a right spot with the Lord, God, are those that feel freed and are not held in condemnation. So...is what I'm feeling (lack of guilty) the fact that I'm right with God and, hense, over and past my transgression? Or is it that I'm so bloody far from Him that I'm lost to His direction and instruction? What the hell's happened to me? I used to talk to Him every day...all the day...and felt close to Him. I've drifted...and yet don't feel lost or upset about it. I have a fear that such invites repercussions and punishment. But I can't seem to make myself care enough to have regret, remorse, or sorrow...to plead for forgiveness and turn from what I'm doing/have done. Is that wrong? Is that bad? How can one freakin' conversation with someone (two, if you count last year....a half dozen if you are REALLY countin) change the whole perception of my faith...who I am...and what I want out of life? And is this new perception/desire/path the worse/wrong one???
I can't even ask for God's help in knowing...because I feel like I've no right to ask, anymore...
God...what have I done? :\
I heard on one of the Christian stations yesterday that those who are held in the palm of the Devil's hand are those that feel guilt and condemnation. Those that are free of him and in a right spot with the Lord, God, are those that feel freed and are not held in condemnation. So...is what I'm feeling (lack of guilty) the fact that I'm right with God and, hense, over and past my transgression? Or is it that I'm so bloody far from Him that I'm lost to His direction and instruction? What the hell's happened to me? I used to talk to Him every day...all the day...and felt close to Him. I've drifted...and yet don't feel lost or upset about it. I have a fear that such invites repercussions and punishment. But I can't seem to make myself care enough to have regret, remorse, or sorrow...to plead for forgiveness and turn from what I'm doing/have done. Is that wrong? Is that bad? How can one freakin' conversation with someone (two, if you count last year....a half dozen if you are REALLY countin) change the whole perception of my faith...who I am...and what I want out of life? And is this new perception/desire/path the worse/wrong one???
I can't even ask for God's help in knowing...because I feel like I've no right to ask, anymore...
God...what have I done? :\