Update: I've been...
Okay, so here's a little of what's been going on these past few weeks....
I've been exhausted...driving the hour plus to Tilghman every day to help open our new branch down there. I'm tired from the drive and from the overload of necessary brain power needed to train an entire branch, but am grateful for the opportunity to advance at the bank and learn new things, myself, in the quest for knowledge to answer questions from the newbies. It's been an adventure.
I've been grieving...The day after Father's Day, my favorite cousin, Jason, to whom I feel very close because of strange past circumstances, lost his 2 weeks-shy of 3 months-old son, Brendan, to SIDS. It has torn my heart. Just when my cousin had gotten his life together; overcome the alcoholism that rampages our family, married a sweet little Irish girl and adopted her daughter, become a father in all sense of the word with love for his family and his son.....it's hard to accept the God's will behind that, but I'm learning and coming up with ideas.
Then, less than a week later, I lost my dear pal Dr. McDonald: former boss, friend, grandfather-type figure, and a wonderful asset within the medical community. He was in his 70s and a bit less surprising than the baby, as Doc was in the hospital for a while before he passed on, but it hurts and saddens me none the less.
I've been blessed...the past week, we had Vacation Bible School at Talbot Bible Church and I was asked to join the band, singing and encouraging the kids to participate in the Praise time. It was incredible...I can't describe the feeling behind the experience, but I really wish I had gone to something like this when I was younger. It was the most amazing thing. Being with those people when Brendan died, too, was a good thing. They really know how to touch you and show you God's comfort in times of need. I am grateful.
I've opened my eyes...a good friend of mine witnessed to me the other night without knowing or intending to, I think. He pointed out that I am constantly saying "I'm not good at that" in response to things I am uncomfortable with. He also brought up the fact that, if I truely believe that I am accepted by God as a chosen child, whom he loves and lifts up, how is it that I can be so overly concerned with what people think and how they see me. Yes, it is true that I should be desiring them to see the Godly part of me and should be acting in accordance with my faith, but I should not detain from other things for fear of judegment by my peers. I also should be concerned with how people feel and think so that I don't hurt them but, again, not because I am afraid they will think wrongly of me. What a revelation, lol! Why didn't I internalize this before? It has opened up a freedom, when I don't remember being chained. For instance, at Young Adults class last night, the guys wanted to do a baseball game and, being the only girl, I was afraid. But I remembered what I learned and thought, "Why not?! Who are they to judge me?" It turned into a great time and I don't remember feeling so good or having so much fun in a long time -- honestly. Sweet! :D
I've re-evaluated my relationship status...Matt and I broke up this week and I'm deciding where to go from there. I am all hormone-jumped and honestly admit to it. I also won't deny attraction exists elsewhere. I just don't know if I want to act on anything right now. I am changing -- and at a fast rate, I tell you! -- and don't know if another relationship is right at the moment. I don't think it's fair to start something, being one person, then having him discover that he is dating someone completely different from who was there at the beginning of the relationship, you know? I also think I need some time to focus on my relationship with God before I contemplate my relationship with man. I've been too long in the flirting/physical department and need to fix the praying department. It's hard when I feel such a pull to worldly things.
Anyway, now that I've rambled and caught some people up with what I'm up to...email me if you have questions/thoughts/concerns, or post here. :D
xoxoxoxoxoxo
BECCA
I've been exhausted...driving the hour plus to Tilghman every day to help open our new branch down there. I'm tired from the drive and from the overload of necessary brain power needed to train an entire branch, but am grateful for the opportunity to advance at the bank and learn new things, myself, in the quest for knowledge to answer questions from the newbies. It's been an adventure.
I've been grieving...The day after Father's Day, my favorite cousin, Jason, to whom I feel very close because of strange past circumstances, lost his 2 weeks-shy of 3 months-old son, Brendan, to SIDS. It has torn my heart. Just when my cousin had gotten his life together; overcome the alcoholism that rampages our family, married a sweet little Irish girl and adopted her daughter, become a father in all sense of the word with love for his family and his son.....it's hard to accept the God's will behind that, but I'm learning and coming up with ideas.
Then, less than a week later, I lost my dear pal Dr. McDonald: former boss, friend, grandfather-type figure, and a wonderful asset within the medical community. He was in his 70s and a bit less surprising than the baby, as Doc was in the hospital for a while before he passed on, but it hurts and saddens me none the less.
I've been blessed...the past week, we had Vacation Bible School at Talbot Bible Church and I was asked to join the band, singing and encouraging the kids to participate in the Praise time. It was incredible...I can't describe the feeling behind the experience, but I really wish I had gone to something like this when I was younger. It was the most amazing thing. Being with those people when Brendan died, too, was a good thing. They really know how to touch you and show you God's comfort in times of need. I am grateful.
I've opened my eyes...a good friend of mine witnessed to me the other night without knowing or intending to, I think. He pointed out that I am constantly saying "I'm not good at that" in response to things I am uncomfortable with. He also brought up the fact that, if I truely believe that I am accepted by God as a chosen child, whom he loves and lifts up, how is it that I can be so overly concerned with what people think and how they see me. Yes, it is true that I should be desiring them to see the Godly part of me and should be acting in accordance with my faith, but I should not detain from other things for fear of judegment by my peers. I also should be concerned with how people feel and think so that I don't hurt them but, again, not because I am afraid they will think wrongly of me. What a revelation, lol! Why didn't I internalize this before? It has opened up a freedom, when I don't remember being chained. For instance, at Young Adults class last night, the guys wanted to do a baseball game and, being the only girl, I was afraid. But I remembered what I learned and thought, "Why not?! Who are they to judge me?" It turned into a great time and I don't remember feeling so good or having so much fun in a long time -- honestly. Sweet! :D
I've re-evaluated my relationship status...Matt and I broke up this week and I'm deciding where to go from there. I am all hormone-jumped and honestly admit to it. I also won't deny attraction exists elsewhere. I just don't know if I want to act on anything right now. I am changing -- and at a fast rate, I tell you! -- and don't know if another relationship is right at the moment. I don't think it's fair to start something, being one person, then having him discover that he is dating someone completely different from who was there at the beginning of the relationship, you know? I also think I need some time to focus on my relationship with God before I contemplate my relationship with man. I've been too long in the flirting/physical department and need to fix the praying department. It's hard when I feel such a pull to worldly things.
Anyway, now that I've rambled and caught some people up with what I'm up to...email me if you have questions/thoughts/concerns, or post here. :D
xoxoxoxoxoxo
BECCA