A wannabe...
::g O a L s::
*now with the better weather jog everyday after school
*eat much much better to lose ** pounds
*not swear anymore
*be the BEST friend i could ever be
*pick up my grades in school and work harder
*be the best girlfriend (well not technically but we wont go there lol) for joe
*find a job
*go out and have more fun
so on tuesday after school i went to j o u s t i n g with sarah. we laughed so out of control my stomach was hurting more than ever...i couldn't even get laughs out without feeling like my stomach would just split open! everyone couldn't help but make fun of us...vicky and jess and amanda jumped in with their encredible laughs to make everything so much better lol! the actualy jousting part was pretty boring except watching jess and megan lol!! sarah and i also notcied that we can't help but look at couples and just watch them..weird? yeah probably but we don't mind!
after j o u s t i n g me and eth went home. vicky and sarah came over and we all wanted to go see joey and then visit j lew but we couldnt see joey so we all just went over j lews. jess and ky ky met us there and we hung out for a little bit. it was really fun, the ride over, being there just to hang out for even just an hour...it felt good to go out for a little with some of my friends...it must be awesome to live like that all the time like ALL of my friends...
on wednesday the weather was gorgeous which ALWAYS puts me in a good mood...alex thos and greg came over and we wanted anacondas: the hunt for the blood orchid which was good thenw e all went outside to play basketball and i realized what bad shape i'm in =(
these past couple of days have really got me thinking...i want to have fun like i did on tuesday night more often. i feel like maybe i don't get the opportunity to do things like the rest of the people in my grade because people judge me. they think i won't do anything just because i don't happen to drink or do drugs right now...they think i can't have fun, i'm only worried about my grades, and probably i won't be very fun to hang out with so they stick with the same people they already do have fun with, which is obvisouly fine but i CAN have fun, i WANT to have fun! even though i don't drink or smoke doesnt mean i can't be fun to be around right? obviously i have my nights with the girls which are always a blast and occasionally i go out but i have never been to a party or anything so i don't know what's it like. people don't realize how hard it is for me to go out and go to stuff with everyone else because of my parents not because of me.my parents are getting a little better maybe because they have finally realized i'm not in middle school anymore even though i'm getting ready to end my SOPHOMORE year in HIGHSCHOOL, but hey i'm their last so who can blame them right?
i just think i'm about ready for more of this gorgeous weather, way more great times with my friends, even more great nights out, and a hell of a good summer!!! WHO ELSE IS READY?!?!
not only am i feeling good, my grades are good, the weather is good, but i have a GREAT guy in my life and i coudln't be any happier...being with him makes me want to treasure all the happy moments in my life not the bad ones!! i really do genuinely LOVE him and only hope that this is just the beginning!!
my best friend likes to say that i wouldnt mind seeing him dead, or that i use him only for rides, or i always am looking for a way to hurt him, or i'm so mean to him. this only makes me think that maybe he doesnt realize that me calling him my best friend means everything. a best friend to me is a person that knows you better than anyone else, that is always there for you, someone you can talk to about anything, and so so so so so much more. yeah he is my best friend. that's all i can say.
*now with the better weather jog everyday after school
*eat much much better to lose ** pounds
*not swear anymore
*be the BEST friend i could ever be
*pick up my grades in school and work harder
*be the best girlfriend (well not technically but we wont go there lol) for joe
*find a job
*go out and have more fun
so on tuesday after school i went to j o u s t i n g with sarah. we laughed so out of control my stomach was hurting more than ever...i couldn't even get laughs out without feeling like my stomach would just split open! everyone couldn't help but make fun of us...vicky and jess and amanda jumped in with their encredible laughs to make everything so much better lol! the actualy jousting part was pretty boring except watching jess and megan lol!! sarah and i also notcied that we can't help but look at couples and just watch them..weird? yeah probably but we don't mind!
after j o u s t i n g me and eth went home. vicky and sarah came over and we all wanted to go see joey and then visit j lew but we couldnt see joey so we all just went over j lews. jess and ky ky met us there and we hung out for a little bit. it was really fun, the ride over, being there just to hang out for even just an hour...it felt good to go out for a little with some of my friends...it must be awesome to live like that all the time like ALL of my friends...
on wednesday the weather was gorgeous which ALWAYS puts me in a good mood...alex thos and greg came over and we wanted anacondas: the hunt for the blood orchid which was good thenw e all went outside to play basketball and i realized what bad shape i'm in =(
these past couple of days have really got me thinking...i want to have fun like i did on tuesday night more often. i feel like maybe i don't get the opportunity to do things like the rest of the people in my grade because people judge me. they think i won't do anything just because i don't happen to drink or do drugs right now...they think i can't have fun, i'm only worried about my grades, and probably i won't be very fun to hang out with so they stick with the same people they already do have fun with, which is obvisouly fine but i CAN have fun, i WANT to have fun! even though i don't drink or smoke doesnt mean i can't be fun to be around right? obviously i have my nights with the girls which are always a blast and occasionally i go out but i have never been to a party or anything so i don't know what's it like. people don't realize how hard it is for me to go out and go to stuff with everyone else because of my parents not because of me.my parents are getting a little better maybe because they have finally realized i'm not in middle school anymore even though i'm getting ready to end my SOPHOMORE year in HIGHSCHOOL, but hey i'm their last so who can blame them right?
i just think i'm about ready for more of this gorgeous weather, way more great times with my friends, even more great nights out, and a hell of a good summer!!! WHO ELSE IS READY?!?!
not only am i feeling good, my grades are good, the weather is good, but i have a GREAT guy in my life and i coudln't be any happier...being with him makes me want to treasure all the happy moments in my life not the bad ones!! i really do genuinely LOVE him and only hope that this is just the beginning!!
my best friend likes to say that i wouldnt mind seeing him dead, or that i use him only for rides, or i always am looking for a way to hurt him, or i'm so mean to him. this only makes me think that maybe he doesnt realize that me calling him my best friend means everything. a best friend to me is a person that knows you better than anyone else, that is always there for you, someone you can talk to about anything, and so so so so so much more. yeah he is my best friend. that's all i can say.