I Hate Loving You, You Love Hating Me (part 6)
Didn't think I was going to have time for an update tonight, but here you go... And it's longer! :p
Hope you enjoy! :-)
Sophie P.O.V Throughout
3am.
I haven't had any sleep what so ever. Partly because of the uncomfortable position Sian's sleeping body has forced me in, and partly because my mind won't shut up.
I love Sian, of course I do and that's why I will always protect her but she is so infuriating and enough to drive me insane. I love her but at the same time I hate her. All of her little habits I once found cute now just seem to irritate the hell out of me. She's so lazy. She never listens. She's grumpy like 90% of the time. The list could go on. We argue and fight. Right now it's not so bad; ever since a few weeks after we broke up believe it or not we've actually been getting on better. (Yeah this has been us getting on better so imagine what it was like when we were together!) I mean at one point we used to be great. We barely ever argued and after any arguments we would both just apologise and say how much we love each other (and perhaps some good make up sex but that's besides the point). I guess we're just too different now. We just couldn't be together. We both appear to simply have too much hatred for one another.
Not right now though. Right now all I feel is love and the need to keep her safe from any harm. I can't be feeling like this though. We both know we only end up hurting each other and that this is for the best. I know what needs to be done.
We need to move on.
I need to move on.
I need to find somebody who makes me as happy as Sian, hut somebody who doesn't make me as miserable as Sian.
- - - - - - - -
I wake up at 6am and decide it would be a good idea to leave the house earlier than usual today. I know Sian better than anyone and that's why I can confidently say she won't be in the best of moods this morning. Not that she usually is in a particularly good mood but usually after she's been sad she gets really angry and she'll probably try taking all her anger and frustration out on me. Not that I usually mind since I definitely know how to defend myself around her, but I'm just not in the mood for an argument. Not this morning.
I work in a big company which I got a share in about a year ago, and so I now own almost half the company. I love my job ad the pay is great but it's just so much hard work and the hours can be extremely long.
12:30
Since I arrived at work early, I already made a big start in my work for today, so I decided to take a long lunch and walk to the coffee shop I love.
"Ah, Sophie. Long time no see, eh?" Jack, the owner of the coffee shop says as I enter.
"Yeah good to see you Jack." I smile politely.
"Not got Sian with you today?" He inquires.
"Erm... No."
"Oh, okay well... Just the usual then?" He asks politely.
"Please." I reply. As I stand waiting for my medium cappuccino I feel myself being pushed onto the ground.
"Oh my gosh! I am sooo sorry." A young lady squeals as she offers me her hand and helps me to get up. "I so totally was not looking where I was going!"
"It's fine." I assure her.
"Sophie, your coffee." Jack says as he places it on the counter.
"I'll get that." The girl chirps. "To make up for knocking you over." She giggles as she hands over the money.
"Um, thanks, eh..."
"Tanya." She says as she gives me her hand to shake.
"I'm Sophie."
"Awesome. Wanna sit down?" She offers.
"Sure why not, but I can't stay for long."
We sit talking about everything and anything. She's just so easy to talk to and really friendly. I told her about my job and I even mentioned Sian, avoiding the fact we're still living together as that didn't seem to go down to well last time. Before I know it it's time for me to go back to work.
"This has been great but I really have to get going now. It's been nice talking to you." I tell her.
"Yeah you too. Wait... Can I have your mobile number?"
"Sure." I say as I type my number into her phone.
"Thanks. We should do this again some time."
"Yeah we should." I smile.
"Are you free on Saturday?"
"Erm yeah I'm free all morning I might have to do some work in the evening though."
"That's fine if you text me with your details I could just pick you up on Saturday morning at eleven?"
"Yeah sounds nice, sorry but I've really got to go. Nice meeting you...eh... T-"
"Tanya." She finishes for me."
"Pfft yeah I knew your name was Tanya I was about to say that. Anyway, see you on Saturday." I say as I head back to work. I actually thought her name was Tamlyne so I'm extremely glad she interrupted me.
I like Taml-... I mean Tanya! She seems sweet and it was nice to just have a light conversation with somebody for once. No arguing or fighting or crying. Just talking. Plus it kept my mind off Sian. And I did tell myself I need to move on. Who knows? Maybe Tanya could be the one to help me do so.
She's kind and sweet and she's really pretty... Not as pretty as Sian. Or funny like Sian. Or- No Sophie stop it! I can't possibly compare her to Sian. It wouldn't be fair. Nobody can compare to Sian. Sophie stop it!
Urgh I don't even like Sian. She's not a nice person and we don't even get along. I sometimes even think I hate her.... But she's Sian. My Sian.
'Oh my God Sophie get to work and stop thinking about Sian!' I tell myself.