Adjustment Period Chapter 2/3 (Dan/Blair) Rated PG
Title: Adjustment Period
Rating: PG
Words: 5173
Summary: As Dan and Blair grow closer, Serena must go through an adjustment period involving two of the most important relationships in her life.
Serena knocked on Blair's door, hoping she was awake. It was only eight in the morning on a Saturday, though Blair was usually an early riser. It was actually unusual for Serena to be up this early on a Saturday. Blair hadn't returned from Dan's by the time Serena went to sleep, and Serena was both curious and anxious about how things had gone. Blair's door wasn't quite shut, so Serena gently pushed it open. Inside, she found no sign of Blair and no indication that Blair had come home at all. Serena decided not to jump to any conclusions, knowing it was possible that Dan and Blair decided to remain friends and Blair had merely crashed at the loft.
Serena decided to go downstairs and have breakfast, feeling a desperate need for coffee. She settled in the living room with her food, hoping to catch Blair on her way in. About five minutes after she began eating, her wish was granted as Blair walked quietly from the elevator, shoes in hand as though she were sneaking in.
Blair gasped and almost leapt in shock when she saw Serena in the living room. “What are you doing up so early?” Blair asked her, sounding almost accusatory.
“I had a hard time sleeping, so I came down for coffee,” Serena said, figuring it was obvious why she was having trouble sleeping. “How did your night go?” Serena hoped her voice took on the conversational tone she was aiming for.
Blair sat down beside her on the sofa, pouring herself a cup of coffee. “I feel like I need something stronger than coffee for this conversation,” Blair said sheepishly. Serena felt her heart sink. She knew what was coming.
“Dan and I....” Blair began slowly. Serena felt her heart race, and she dreaded hearing Blair's next words.
“You slept together,” Serena blurted out before Blair could finish her thought.
“I was actually going to say that we both admitted we have feelings for each other,” Blair said. Serena felt momentarily relieved before Blair smirked, then continued, “I was actually going to leave the sex part unspoken, but since you brought it up....”
Serena cringed. “Oh,” she said uncertainly, wishing she could just leave the room. Instead, she decided to forge ahead and have the band-aid ripped off all at once. “So...you're a couple?”
“I suppose if I were introducing him to people that I'd call him my boyfriend,” Blair said flippantly, making a show of looking at her nails rather than Serena, an indication that she was more nervous than she was letting on.
“Okay,” Serena said quietly. She felt an overwhelming wave of sadness crash over her, and a harsh truth hit her all at once. She and Dan were really and truly over. No matter what happened with Blair and Dan, there was no coming back from this. With their parents married and Serena's mixed feelings about Nate, Serena knew deep down that she and Dan were always going to have obstacles. Somehow she felt like this would finally be the straw that broke the camel's back. He would no longer the boy who would always be there for her, no matter what he had promised her in the past.
Blair looked at her expectantly, waiting for her to elaborate. Serena stood up, turning to Blair and realizing she had to say something. She honestly wasn't sure if Blair was hoping she'd be okay with this, or if Blair was gearing up for a fight where she'd remind Serena that Dan was no longer hers anymore. Serena was probably even more surprised than Blair when she felt herself suddenly burst into tears.
Blair just looked shocked for a moment. “S, I thought you were over Dan. Dan thought you were over Dan,” Blair said sympathetically, moving to wrap an arm around her shoulder.
Serena sniffled and wiped away the worst of the tears, feeling embarrassed. She really couldn't explain her reaction. Serena was also pretty sure she was over Dan, but somehow it still hurt.
“It's just....really over now,” Serena said, stating the obvious. “He's just always been there, you know?”
“I'm sure if you ever need him, he still will be,” Blair said as she rubbed her back, but there was a tension in her voice. Blair hesitated briefly, then added, “Of course, I'll still always be there for you too, if you still want me there. Dan and I being together doesn't mean we won't be there for you like always.”
“I know,” Serena said, though she had her doubts. She really wasn't sure how she fit into this new dynamic.
Over the course of the next week, Serena saw very little of Blair. Serena assumed she was spending most nights with Dan, but they never spoke about it. Serena figured her outburst had made things even more awkward, though she wasn't sure what the solution was. She didn't particularly want to talk to Blair about Dan, but she missed her best friend.
Serena started to spend a lot of time with Charlie, who made a really good shopping buddy now that she was armed with her Rhodes trust fund. Serena had been concerned that things with Charlie would be awkward, but she found it wasn't as bad as she feared. It probably helped that Serena never brought up Dan, and Charlie didn't seem eager to talk about him either. Without mention of Dan, it was easy to pretend the past hadn't happened, though Serena did occasionally check in with Rufus to make sure Charlie hadn't left any more pills in trash cans.
On Friday, Serena and Charlie were on their way to grab lunch when she spotted Dan and Blair walking towards them. Dan was carrying several shopping bags, while Blair only carried her handbag. They were walking side by side, deep in conversation about something. They seemed so engaged that for a moment Serena thought they may not even notice her, but that moment was short lived.
“Serena...and Charlie!” Blair said, smiling wide as she said her cousin's name. Serena noticed that the smile did not reach Blair's eyes.
“So Blair is putting you to work today,” Serena said to Dan, making a gesture toward his bags.
Dan rolled his eyes good-naturedly. “Apparently I make a good pack mule,” he said in an easy voice, shooting Blair a teasing look out of the corner of his eye.
“Oh, please. Don't act like you're such a victim,” Blair scoffed. “I helped you pick out a lovely gift for your mother, didn't I? Now you're just holding up your end of the bargain by serving as my shopping companion.”
Serena couldn't help but feel stung by Blair enlisting Dan to go shopping with her, knowing Dan was less than an ideal shopping companion. She also wondered if Blair was just helping to pick out Allison's gift, or if Dan was introducing Blair to his mother.
“So what are you to up to?” Dan asked them conversationally, completely ignoring Blair's comment.
“We're just heading to lunch,” Charlie said, speaking for the first time.
“We were about to take a break for lunch as well,” Dan said. “Do you guys want to grab lunch together?”
Serena could see that the invitation was almost a conditioned response, and Dan grimaced almost as soon as the words left his mouth. Serena noticed Blair's smile go even wider, but she could see the tension in her body. Serena just prayed that Charlie didn't blurt out an acceptance.
Luckily, Blair stepped in, shooting a glare at Dan before she spoke. “Humphrey is just a victim of wishful thinking. He knows our next stop is to find him clothes to wear to the fundraiser tonight, but he keeps trying to get out of it,” Blair said, looping her arm through Dan's possessively. “He doesn't get to eat until we find him some proper attire.”
“What the hell does black tie casual mean anyhow?” Dan grumbled, and Serena couldn't help but laugh.
“Jeans, a tuxedo shirt and tie?” Serena guessed.
“I was thinking dress pants and a t-shirt, but Blair nixed that right away,” Dan said in a deadpan tone, but shot Serena a teasing grin. Serena smiled in return.
“Ugh, don't encourage him,” Blair said, clutching Dan's arm tighter.
“So, we actually have reservations...” Charlie said, even though they didn't. She was a smoother liar than Serena would have guessed.
“I'll see you two at brunch, right?” Dan asked before they could leave.
“Yeah. I think Eric's coming to this one too,” Serena said. She didn't mention that she had begged Eric to come, as it was their first brunch since Dan and Blair got together. She thought Eric would help ease some of the tension. Between Serena's sketchy career path, Dan's book, Dan's relationship with Blair, and Charlie's return, it was bound to be an interesting brunch if nothing else.
“Excellent, I would like to thank him again for his service,” Dan said, sharing a smile with Blair.
“Well, he'll be there,” Serena said hurriedly, looking away from Dan and Blair. She grabbed Charlie's arm and started to walk away. “We've really gotta go. I'll see you Sunday.” Without looking back, Serena started heading towards the restaurant, Charlie in tow.
That evening, Blair hesitantly entered Serena's room through her open door. “So, sorry that was so weird on the street today,” Blair said apologetically.
“It's okay,” Serena said with a shrug. “I hope Dan's arm is okay after the death grip you had on it.”
“Well, you do know the crazy impersonator killed the boyfriend in Single White Female,” Blair said. “I had to keep him safe.”
“He's not my boyfriend,” Serena sighed, realizing she probably picked the wrong part of Blair's sentence to focus on.
“It didn't stop her last time with the 'Call me Serena',” Blair scoffed. “If it had been the movie, Dan would have had a stiletto piercing into his brain.”
Serena had no idea what Blair was talking about, but decided she probably didn't want to know. She knew something weird had gone down between Dan and Charlie, but there had been so much going on that she had never found out all the details. Lord knows they didn't even more awkwardness at family brunch on Sunday.
“I think Dan's perfectly safe around Charlie,” Serena said, rolling her eyes. She knew Charlie was not the person Blair was sending a message to with her possessiveness.
“Whatever,” Blair huffed. “Anyhow, I just wanted to apologize for today, and for abandoning you this week. I'm sorry you were forced into shopping with Charlie.”
Serena smiled, softening some. “Charlie was fine,” Serena said. “But she's doesn't hold a candle to you in the stores. I don't think there was anything I tried on that she didn't like. I need your blunt analysis.”
“Well, I think my shopping trip with Humphrey was a one-time experiment,” Blair said mournfully. “At least now I know his measurements so I can just go buy things for him.”
“I'm sure he'll love that,” Serena said sarcastically.
“Oh, he hates it,” Blair agreed. “He's already said that he draws the line at formal wear. Apparently your mom or Cece have purchased virtually all his suits for him anyhow, so he doesn't feel like it's an expression of his individuality. You know, like the bold statement he makes with his plaid shirts and henleys.”
Serena couldn't help but laugh. “I kind of miss the stuff he used to wear in high school,” Serena admitted.
“Ugh, the vests?” Blair scrunched her nose. “That is one of many reasons I did not approve of him in high school.”
“Well, they were a bolder statement,” Serena pointed out. They both laughed, things feeling easy between them for the first time since Blair admitted she had feelings for Dan.
“S, do you want to hang out tonight, just us girls?” Blair asked, almost shyly. “That's really why I came in here, but I got sidetracked.”
“I'm going out to a nightclub with Charlie,” Serena said regretfully, feeling bad. “She's been wanting to check out the nightlife, and it seemed like it might be fun.”
“Oh,” Blair said, looking disappointed. “I should have checked with you sooner.”
“You could go hang out with Dan again...” Serena suggested, the words sounding surprisingly natural.
“He's having a boy's night in with Nate,” Blair sighed. “There's beer and some sporting event involved. Plus, I was looking forward to a night in my own bed.”
Just when things were getting more comfortable, the awkwardness returned. Serena wanted to tell Blair that it would be okay if Dan slept over sometimes, but she wasn't ready to be quite that unselfish. Instead, she decided to try and make Blair feel included.
“Do you want to come out with Charlie and me?” Serena asked, already knowing the answer.
“No, though I do feel like I should chaperone you.”
“We'll be fine,” Serena reassured her. “Are you going to be okay alone?”
“Of course,” Blair said. “I should get caught up on schoolwork. Humphrey's been distracting me too much, and he doesn't have as much to do because he goes to NYU.”
“You know that you're not trying to convince me that Dan's not worth my time anymore, right?” Serena had to ask, wondering to herself if Dan appreciated his girlfriend insulting him.
“I know,” Blair said with an exaggerated sigh. “Old habits die hard.”
Serena didn't say anything, but nodded in agreement.
Sunday rolled around, and Serena was dreading family brunch. She briefly talked to Blair on her way out the door, confirming that Blair was sitting this one out. Serena felt a little ashamed that she was relieved by this news.
When she arrived at her mom's building, Serena rant into Dan in the lobby. He tilted his head, smiling sheepishly at her.
“Well, I don't think this day could be more awkward if I'd scripted it that way,” Dan said. “Or, I guess I should say if you'd scripted it that way.”
“Yes, Blair told me that screenplays are too structured for you,” Serena said tersely, not sure why it bothered her so much that Dan didn't approve of her medium of choice.
Dan put up his hands in surrender. “Hey, I think what you're doing is great,” he said sincerely. “We can't all express ourselves the same way. Plus, I wouldn't want to compete with you if you were writing prose. If you wrote a memoir, I assure you it would outsell anything I could ever dream of writing.”
“Well, you did date a major Hollywood star,” Serena reminded him.
“I did, didn't I?” Dan chuckled. “I can't believe that was only a couple of years ago. It seems like a lifetime ago.”
Serena thought back to that time, and it was eerily reminiscent of her life now. She had decided not to go to school, and instead was pursuing a career path that she had just fallen into. Serena told herself that this time was different, that she had really found her calling.
“So, today should be interesting,” Serena finally said, changing the subject.
“That may be an understatement,” Dan said, laughing. “My dad came over to the loft first thing in the morning after he finished the book to discuss why I felt the need to skewer my family. To make matters worse, Blair emerged from my bedroom in a Lincoln Hawk shirt.”
For reasons she couldn't even begin to explain, Serena didn't feel herself bristle when Dan spoke about Blair, yet she inwardly cringed every time Blair mentioned Dan, especially when it was in even a vaguely sexual manner.
“So, the cat's out of the bag,” Serena said. She had been wondering if Dan had broken the news to Rufus. Their relationship had been pretty well-publicized on Gossip Girl, but Rufus seemed to be strangely oblivious to the murmurings around him, even when they involved his family.
“I think he was most upset about the fact that I let Blair wear his band's shirt,” Dan joked. “I might really be the black sheep today.”
“We'll see,” Serena said conspiratorially. “I'm planning on telling my mom I'm applying to film schools.”
“That's awesome,” Dan said, smiling wide. “I'm really proud of you for figuring out your path. I know you'll do great.” Serena felt a warmth spread through her body from both his smile and his words.
“My mom will think it's just a whim,” Serena said sadly. “She's going to think I'll quit in six months and go sailing around the world instead or something.”
“Then convince her you're serious,” Dan told her firmly. “In fact, read her the entire script you helped write at the table today.”
Serena grinned and gave him a playful slap. “You don't get out of your black sheep status that easily.”
Dan laughed and looped his arm through hers. “You ready to face our respective firing squads?”
When they entered the apartment, Eric was already there, sitting in the living room with her mom and Rufus. The three of them looked very tense. She had a good idea why Rufus and her mother would be tense, but Eric seemed fine with the goings on in both hers and Dan's lives.
Lily spoke as soon as she noticed Serena and Dan.
“Did you know your brother is moving to California after Christmas?” Lily asked angrily. “Apparently he met some boy online and he's moving out there to be with him.”
Serena's jaw dropped, and she turned to Dan and noted that he didn't look nearly so shocked. Apparently Dan and Eric had really bonded in the Hamptons.
Dan leaned over so that he was close enough to whisper in her ear. “It looks like we might not be the black sheep today after all.”
At that moment, Charlie entered the living room. Noticing the tension, she turned to Serena. “What did I miss?” Charlie asked, confused.
“You were right. I really couldn't have scripted it better,” Serena whispered back to Dan.
Eric's big announcement managed to deflect the attention completely away from Serena, and Dan's book only came up a handful of times. Rufus never mentioned Dan's relationship with Blair, likely out of deference to Serena.
Dan and Serena left together, Eric still explaining this seemingly rash decision. When they got on the elevator, Serena turned to Dan.
“So, you knew about Eric?'
“Well, I knew about Roger,” Dan said, shaking his head. “I didn't know about his plan to move across the country, though I guess I'm not surprised. He really likes the guy.”
“So you saw them together in the Hamptons?” Serena wanted to know who the boy was who had stolen her brother's heart.
“Yeah, he stayed with us a few times,” Dan said, then smiled and leaned in conspiratorially. “Can I tell you a secret?”
“What?” Serena asked, intrigued.
“He didn't meet him online. Cece actually set them up.”
Serena's jaw dropped. “Seriously?” While her grandmother had never outwardly disapproved of Eric's homosexuality, she never would have imagined her grandma would actively assist Eric in finding a boyfriend. She supposed she decided to just take matters into her own hands lest Eric find some Humphrey equivalent.
“Yep,” Dan said, smiling wide. “Cece knew his family, and Roger mentioned at some party that he was heading to New York for a six-week internship. If you hadn't been busy working, you probably would have met him too.”
“The one time I skip a party,” Serena lamented teasingly. “So, I take it Eric said they met online so my mom won't hate him on sight.”
“You would know the answer to that better than I would,” Dan reminded her as they stepped out of the elevator.
“Yeah, he's my brother,” Serena said, feeling sad that she hadn't known anything about this relationship while Dan had been known from the beginning.
They walked together to the street, then stared at each other awkwardly. “You going back to Brooklyn?”
“Yeah,” Dan said, nodding. “I have something like three papers to write.”
Serena made a sympathetic face. “Have fun.”
As she watched Dan get into a cab, Serena realized that she still hadn't talked to her mom about her film school plans. She was beginning to think she might just have to set up a time to talk with her mom alone, as it appeared that she couldn't hold her mother's attention when there was a group of people in the room.
For the next few weeks, Serena began to adjust to changing circumstances. With a mom who loved both new husbands and remodeling, Serena was nothing if not adaptable. Blair was around most weeknights, as she had early morning classes three days a week and the commute from Brooklyn cut into her beauty sleep. Blair rarely discussed her relationship with Dan, and Serena never asked about it, always a little nervous that Blair would spill the more salacious details with her. All Serena really knew was that they both shared a passion for movies, art and literature, as Blair talked most about Dan when she would fume about some argument they had involving a book or movie. Apparently Blair still felt most comfortable talking about Dan when she was insulting him.
To her credit, Blair had been very considerate of Serena's feelings and tried to make the best of a bad situation. Dan rarely came by the penthouse, and he never stayed the night. For all Serena knew, Dan had never even seen Blair's bedroom. While on some level she felt a bit guilty that Blair couldn't host her boyfriend in her own home, she wasn't sure how she'd cope with knowing that Dan and Blair were in bed together on the other side of her wall. It was strange enough to know that Blair was gone because she was spending the night in Brooklyn.
Sometimes she wondered if this was how Blair felt when Serena and Nate were together while Blair practically lived at the Empire, or how Dan felt when Serena moved Ben into the loft. At the time, she hadn't really given those situations much thought. Now she felt somewhat guilty about having sex with Nate in the kitchen and for moving Ben into the loft without at least speaking to Dan first.
One night, Serena went down to the kitchen to pour herself a glass of wine to help her decompress after working on film school applications all evening. The penthouse felt strangely empty even though Blair had just been gone a few hours. Blair and Dan had gone to a movie at the Film Forum, something that sounded horribly morose and confusing to Serena. They had invited her to come, which had created a tense moment right before they left.
“Are you sure you don't want to come?” Blair had asked.
Serena smiled and shook her head. “I will leave you to your three hours of watching a movie about the pain of being human.”
“You know, you're going to have to sit through all kinds of movies in film school,” Dan said with a teasing smile. “You might as well do some test runs with us.”
Serena spotted Blair's hurt look before Dan did. Serena still hadn't told Blair about her film school plans, wanting to have some acceptances in hand to show Blair that she was serious. Serena could tell when Dan figured out what had happened, as he gently placed his hand at the small of Blair's back and started to lead her to the elevator.
“We'd better run if we're going to get a good seat,” Dan said hurriedly. “We'll see you later, Serena.”
Serena dawdled in the kitchen, trying to figure out how she was going to explain to Blair why she had told Dan about film school and not her. Her thoughts were interrupted by voices coming from the living room. Serena decided she'd go ahead face Blair head-on right now, not wanting any hurt feelings of Blair's to fester any longer than was necessary.
Serena stepped out of the kitchen and into the dining room. When she reached the edge of the dining room, which was still cloaked in darkness, she could see Dan pressing Blair into the piano, the two of them kissing passionately. Serena wanted to run back to the kitchen, but she couldn't take her eyes off the sight in front of her.
“You should probably go home,” Blair said breathlessly when Dan started to kiss her neck. “You know the rules.”
Dan kissed her briefly on the lips, then pressed his forehead against hers. “Yes, no funny business when Serena's here.”
Serena absently wondered if they had some clandestine rendezvouses when she she wasn't there.
“You know, I had sex with Chuck on this piano,” Blair said conversationally. Serena bristled. Now she really could never look at that piano the same way again.
Serena saw Dan move his body even closer to Blair's, his hands tightening on her hips. “I know that was meant to get me to leave, but somehow it had the opposite effect,” Dan said before he hoisted her onto the piano and began to kiss her again.
“Someone's feeling territorial,” Blair practically purred when they broke away for air. Dan gently stroked Blair's cheek with his hand.
“It goes both ways,” Dan said softly, almost so softly that Serena couldn't hear. “You don't think I figured out that there was no 'book' you needed to lend me, but you wanted to make some point because Serena told me and not you about film school?”
More than the making out, this was the most upsetting part yet. Serena had no idea that Dan understood Blair so well, which was pretty remarkable given the amount of time he'd known her. Serena prided herself on being able to see past Blair's little games, but it appeared that Dan was a quick learner when it came to Blair.
“You're not mad?” Blair asked, sounding vulnerable.
Dan brushed a stray hair out of Blair's face and smiled. “For trying to jump my bones? It's your rule that you were breaking.”
“No, for being jealous and insecure, and that being why I came on to you,” Blair said sheepishly.
Dan chuckled and shook his head. “I'm not mad. First, I assume you also find me irresistible, and that's partly why you started groping me in the elevator,” Dan said with a teasing grin before his face turned serious. “Second, I just wish you trusted how I feel about you. I love you, Blair.”
Serena felt her eyes well with tears at the same time Blair's did. “I love you too,” Blair said, giving Dan a watery smile. Dan leaned forward and pressed a reverent, almost chaste kiss to Blair's lips. When he pulled away, they beamed at each other, reminding Serena of a bride and groom during a wedding ceremony.
In that moment, Serena couldn't take any more. She slunk back into the kitchen, praying that they didn't break their rule and proceed to have sex on the piano. She had this feeling they might be loud enough for Serena to hear it all. She hoped they remembered she was in the penthouse.
Five minutes later, Serena breathed out a sigh of relief when she heard the elevator doors close. She slowly walked out of the kitchen, almost hitting Blair in the face with the door.
“Serena!” Blair gasped. “I thought you were upstairs.”
“I figured as much,” Serena said with a knowing look.
“How much did you see?” Blair asked questioningly.
“More than enough,” Serena answered truthfully.
“I'm sorry making you uncomfortable in your own home,” Blair said apologetically. While Serena believed her apology was sincere, she also knew that Dan was right and that Blair was making a statement by making out with Dan in the living room.
“Look, B, you don't need to be sorry,” Serena said, hoping Blair would hear the truth in her words. “It's just an uncomfortable situation.”
“It'll get better,” Blair said reassuringly.
“I really don't think it will,” Serena said, then quickly corrected herself when she saw the panicked look on Blair's face. “I don't mean that we can't be friends while you and Dan are together. I think it's just too much for us to also be roommates.”
“I want you here,” Blair protested. “I really don't need to spend every night with Humphrey.”
“Maybe not,” Serena said, trying to decide if she should reveal just how much she'd heard. “But I have a feeling that this was the first time that Dan told you that he loves you, but you're here with me and not with him.”
“We made things work when you were with Nate and I spent most nights at the Empire,” Blair pointed out.
“But you were with Chuck then,” Serena reminded her.
Serena could tell Blair was about to protest again, more to win the argument than anything else, but then she saw the fight go out of her.
“Fine, you win,” Blair sighed. “Go ahead and move out.”
“Blair, we're not breaking up,” Serena said consolingly. “I'm doing this because I'm afraid we can't be roommates, best friends and also have you date my ex. I think if we take out the roommate part of the equation that we'll do a lot better.”
“I will forgive you for abandoning me on one condition,” Blair stated in an authoritative voice.
“What's that?” Serena asked, raising an eyebrow.
“That we have one last sleepover tonight in my room,” Blair said with a wistful smile. “You did cheat me out of a much better sleepover.”
“I thought you had class first thing in the morning,” Serena reminded her.
“It's nothing Penelope can't handle,” Blair said dismissively.
“Then I'm in, so long as you never mention your other potential sleepover,” Serena responded with a laugh.
“Deal,” Blair said, with a nod of her head.
After a night of catching up and talking about nothing, Serena felt tired and content as she laid in Blair's bed. Right before she dozed off, Serena felt like a heavy weight had been lifted. She knew she had made the right decision by moving out. She already felt like she was getting her best friend back.
Rating: PG
Words: 5173
Summary: As Dan and Blair grow closer, Serena must go through an adjustment period involving two of the most important relationships in her life.
Serena knocked on Blair's door, hoping she was awake. It was only eight in the morning on a Saturday, though Blair was usually an early riser. It was actually unusual for Serena to be up this early on a Saturday. Blair hadn't returned from Dan's by the time Serena went to sleep, and Serena was both curious and anxious about how things had gone. Blair's door wasn't quite shut, so Serena gently pushed it open. Inside, she found no sign of Blair and no indication that Blair had come home at all. Serena decided not to jump to any conclusions, knowing it was possible that Dan and Blair decided to remain friends and Blair had merely crashed at the loft.
Serena decided to go downstairs and have breakfast, feeling a desperate need for coffee. She settled in the living room with her food, hoping to catch Blair on her way in. About five minutes after she began eating, her wish was granted as Blair walked quietly from the elevator, shoes in hand as though she were sneaking in.
Blair gasped and almost leapt in shock when she saw Serena in the living room. “What are you doing up so early?” Blair asked her, sounding almost accusatory.
“I had a hard time sleeping, so I came down for coffee,” Serena said, figuring it was obvious why she was having trouble sleeping. “How did your night go?” Serena hoped her voice took on the conversational tone she was aiming for.
Blair sat down beside her on the sofa, pouring herself a cup of coffee. “I feel like I need something stronger than coffee for this conversation,” Blair said sheepishly. Serena felt her heart sink. She knew what was coming.
“Dan and I....” Blair began slowly. Serena felt her heart race, and she dreaded hearing Blair's next words.
“You slept together,” Serena blurted out before Blair could finish her thought.
“I was actually going to say that we both admitted we have feelings for each other,” Blair said. Serena felt momentarily relieved before Blair smirked, then continued, “I was actually going to leave the sex part unspoken, but since you brought it up....”
Serena cringed. “Oh,” she said uncertainly, wishing she could just leave the room. Instead, she decided to forge ahead and have the band-aid ripped off all at once. “So...you're a couple?”
“I suppose if I were introducing him to people that I'd call him my boyfriend,” Blair said flippantly, making a show of looking at her nails rather than Serena, an indication that she was more nervous than she was letting on.
“Okay,” Serena said quietly. She felt an overwhelming wave of sadness crash over her, and a harsh truth hit her all at once. She and Dan were really and truly over. No matter what happened with Blair and Dan, there was no coming back from this. With their parents married and Serena's mixed feelings about Nate, Serena knew deep down that she and Dan were always going to have obstacles. Somehow she felt like this would finally be the straw that broke the camel's back. He would no longer the boy who would always be there for her, no matter what he had promised her in the past.
Blair looked at her expectantly, waiting for her to elaborate. Serena stood up, turning to Blair and realizing she had to say something. She honestly wasn't sure if Blair was hoping she'd be okay with this, or if Blair was gearing up for a fight where she'd remind Serena that Dan was no longer hers anymore. Serena was probably even more surprised than Blair when she felt herself suddenly burst into tears.
Blair just looked shocked for a moment. “S, I thought you were over Dan. Dan thought you were over Dan,” Blair said sympathetically, moving to wrap an arm around her shoulder.
Serena sniffled and wiped away the worst of the tears, feeling embarrassed. She really couldn't explain her reaction. Serena was also pretty sure she was over Dan, but somehow it still hurt.
“It's just....really over now,” Serena said, stating the obvious. “He's just always been there, you know?”
“I'm sure if you ever need him, he still will be,” Blair said as she rubbed her back, but there was a tension in her voice. Blair hesitated briefly, then added, “Of course, I'll still always be there for you too, if you still want me there. Dan and I being together doesn't mean we won't be there for you like always.”
“I know,” Serena said, though she had her doubts. She really wasn't sure how she fit into this new dynamic.
Over the course of the next week, Serena saw very little of Blair. Serena assumed she was spending most nights with Dan, but they never spoke about it. Serena figured her outburst had made things even more awkward, though she wasn't sure what the solution was. She didn't particularly want to talk to Blair about Dan, but she missed her best friend.
Serena started to spend a lot of time with Charlie, who made a really good shopping buddy now that she was armed with her Rhodes trust fund. Serena had been concerned that things with Charlie would be awkward, but she found it wasn't as bad as she feared. It probably helped that Serena never brought up Dan, and Charlie didn't seem eager to talk about him either. Without mention of Dan, it was easy to pretend the past hadn't happened, though Serena did occasionally check in with Rufus to make sure Charlie hadn't left any more pills in trash cans.
On Friday, Serena and Charlie were on their way to grab lunch when she spotted Dan and Blair walking towards them. Dan was carrying several shopping bags, while Blair only carried her handbag. They were walking side by side, deep in conversation about something. They seemed so engaged that for a moment Serena thought they may not even notice her, but that moment was short lived.
“Serena...and Charlie!” Blair said, smiling wide as she said her cousin's name. Serena noticed that the smile did not reach Blair's eyes.
“So Blair is putting you to work today,” Serena said to Dan, making a gesture toward his bags.
Dan rolled his eyes good-naturedly. “Apparently I make a good pack mule,” he said in an easy voice, shooting Blair a teasing look out of the corner of his eye.
“Oh, please. Don't act like you're such a victim,” Blair scoffed. “I helped you pick out a lovely gift for your mother, didn't I? Now you're just holding up your end of the bargain by serving as my shopping companion.”
Serena couldn't help but feel stung by Blair enlisting Dan to go shopping with her, knowing Dan was less than an ideal shopping companion. She also wondered if Blair was just helping to pick out Allison's gift, or if Dan was introducing Blair to his mother.
“So what are you to up to?” Dan asked them conversationally, completely ignoring Blair's comment.
“We're just heading to lunch,” Charlie said, speaking for the first time.
“We were about to take a break for lunch as well,” Dan said. “Do you guys want to grab lunch together?”
Serena could see that the invitation was almost a conditioned response, and Dan grimaced almost as soon as the words left his mouth. Serena noticed Blair's smile go even wider, but she could see the tension in her body. Serena just prayed that Charlie didn't blurt out an acceptance.
Luckily, Blair stepped in, shooting a glare at Dan before she spoke. “Humphrey is just a victim of wishful thinking. He knows our next stop is to find him clothes to wear to the fundraiser tonight, but he keeps trying to get out of it,” Blair said, looping her arm through Dan's possessively. “He doesn't get to eat until we find him some proper attire.”
“What the hell does black tie casual mean anyhow?” Dan grumbled, and Serena couldn't help but laugh.
“Jeans, a tuxedo shirt and tie?” Serena guessed.
“I was thinking dress pants and a t-shirt, but Blair nixed that right away,” Dan said in a deadpan tone, but shot Serena a teasing grin. Serena smiled in return.
“Ugh, don't encourage him,” Blair said, clutching Dan's arm tighter.
“So, we actually have reservations...” Charlie said, even though they didn't. She was a smoother liar than Serena would have guessed.
“I'll see you two at brunch, right?” Dan asked before they could leave.
“Yeah. I think Eric's coming to this one too,” Serena said. She didn't mention that she had begged Eric to come, as it was their first brunch since Dan and Blair got together. She thought Eric would help ease some of the tension. Between Serena's sketchy career path, Dan's book, Dan's relationship with Blair, and Charlie's return, it was bound to be an interesting brunch if nothing else.
“Excellent, I would like to thank him again for his service,” Dan said, sharing a smile with Blair.
“Well, he'll be there,” Serena said hurriedly, looking away from Dan and Blair. She grabbed Charlie's arm and started to walk away. “We've really gotta go. I'll see you Sunday.” Without looking back, Serena started heading towards the restaurant, Charlie in tow.
That evening, Blair hesitantly entered Serena's room through her open door. “So, sorry that was so weird on the street today,” Blair said apologetically.
“It's okay,” Serena said with a shrug. “I hope Dan's arm is okay after the death grip you had on it.”
“Well, you do know the crazy impersonator killed the boyfriend in Single White Female,” Blair said. “I had to keep him safe.”
“He's not my boyfriend,” Serena sighed, realizing she probably picked the wrong part of Blair's sentence to focus on.
“It didn't stop her last time with the 'Call me Serena',” Blair scoffed. “If it had been the movie, Dan would have had a stiletto piercing into his brain.”
Serena had no idea what Blair was talking about, but decided she probably didn't want to know. She knew something weird had gone down between Dan and Charlie, but there had been so much going on that she had never found out all the details. Lord knows they didn't even more awkwardness at family brunch on Sunday.
“I think Dan's perfectly safe around Charlie,” Serena said, rolling her eyes. She knew Charlie was not the person Blair was sending a message to with her possessiveness.
“Whatever,” Blair huffed. “Anyhow, I just wanted to apologize for today, and for abandoning you this week. I'm sorry you were forced into shopping with Charlie.”
Serena smiled, softening some. “Charlie was fine,” Serena said. “But she's doesn't hold a candle to you in the stores. I don't think there was anything I tried on that she didn't like. I need your blunt analysis.”
“Well, I think my shopping trip with Humphrey was a one-time experiment,” Blair said mournfully. “At least now I know his measurements so I can just go buy things for him.”
“I'm sure he'll love that,” Serena said sarcastically.
“Oh, he hates it,” Blair agreed. “He's already said that he draws the line at formal wear. Apparently your mom or Cece have purchased virtually all his suits for him anyhow, so he doesn't feel like it's an expression of his individuality. You know, like the bold statement he makes with his plaid shirts and henleys.”
Serena couldn't help but laugh. “I kind of miss the stuff he used to wear in high school,” Serena admitted.
“Ugh, the vests?” Blair scrunched her nose. “That is one of many reasons I did not approve of him in high school.”
“Well, they were a bolder statement,” Serena pointed out. They both laughed, things feeling easy between them for the first time since Blair admitted she had feelings for Dan.
“S, do you want to hang out tonight, just us girls?” Blair asked, almost shyly. “That's really why I came in here, but I got sidetracked.”
“I'm going out to a nightclub with Charlie,” Serena said regretfully, feeling bad. “She's been wanting to check out the nightlife, and it seemed like it might be fun.”
“Oh,” Blair said, looking disappointed. “I should have checked with you sooner.”
“You could go hang out with Dan again...” Serena suggested, the words sounding surprisingly natural.
“He's having a boy's night in with Nate,” Blair sighed. “There's beer and some sporting event involved. Plus, I was looking forward to a night in my own bed.”
Just when things were getting more comfortable, the awkwardness returned. Serena wanted to tell Blair that it would be okay if Dan slept over sometimes, but she wasn't ready to be quite that unselfish. Instead, she decided to try and make Blair feel included.
“Do you want to come out with Charlie and me?” Serena asked, already knowing the answer.
“No, though I do feel like I should chaperone you.”
“We'll be fine,” Serena reassured her. “Are you going to be okay alone?”
“Of course,” Blair said. “I should get caught up on schoolwork. Humphrey's been distracting me too much, and he doesn't have as much to do because he goes to NYU.”
“You know that you're not trying to convince me that Dan's not worth my time anymore, right?” Serena had to ask, wondering to herself if Dan appreciated his girlfriend insulting him.
“I know,” Blair said with an exaggerated sigh. “Old habits die hard.”
Serena didn't say anything, but nodded in agreement.
Sunday rolled around, and Serena was dreading family brunch. She briefly talked to Blair on her way out the door, confirming that Blair was sitting this one out. Serena felt a little ashamed that she was relieved by this news.
When she arrived at her mom's building, Serena rant into Dan in the lobby. He tilted his head, smiling sheepishly at her.
“Well, I don't think this day could be more awkward if I'd scripted it that way,” Dan said. “Or, I guess I should say if you'd scripted it that way.”
“Yes, Blair told me that screenplays are too structured for you,” Serena said tersely, not sure why it bothered her so much that Dan didn't approve of her medium of choice.
Dan put up his hands in surrender. “Hey, I think what you're doing is great,” he said sincerely. “We can't all express ourselves the same way. Plus, I wouldn't want to compete with you if you were writing prose. If you wrote a memoir, I assure you it would outsell anything I could ever dream of writing.”
“Well, you did date a major Hollywood star,” Serena reminded him.
“I did, didn't I?” Dan chuckled. “I can't believe that was only a couple of years ago. It seems like a lifetime ago.”
Serena thought back to that time, and it was eerily reminiscent of her life now. She had decided not to go to school, and instead was pursuing a career path that she had just fallen into. Serena told herself that this time was different, that she had really found her calling.
“So, today should be interesting,” Serena finally said, changing the subject.
“That may be an understatement,” Dan said, laughing. “My dad came over to the loft first thing in the morning after he finished the book to discuss why I felt the need to skewer my family. To make matters worse, Blair emerged from my bedroom in a Lincoln Hawk shirt.”
For reasons she couldn't even begin to explain, Serena didn't feel herself bristle when Dan spoke about Blair, yet she inwardly cringed every time Blair mentioned Dan, especially when it was in even a vaguely sexual manner.
“So, the cat's out of the bag,” Serena said. She had been wondering if Dan had broken the news to Rufus. Their relationship had been pretty well-publicized on Gossip Girl, but Rufus seemed to be strangely oblivious to the murmurings around him, even when they involved his family.
“I think he was most upset about the fact that I let Blair wear his band's shirt,” Dan joked. “I might really be the black sheep today.”
“We'll see,” Serena said conspiratorially. “I'm planning on telling my mom I'm applying to film schools.”
“That's awesome,” Dan said, smiling wide. “I'm really proud of you for figuring out your path. I know you'll do great.” Serena felt a warmth spread through her body from both his smile and his words.
“My mom will think it's just a whim,” Serena said sadly. “She's going to think I'll quit in six months and go sailing around the world instead or something.”
“Then convince her you're serious,” Dan told her firmly. “In fact, read her the entire script you helped write at the table today.”
Serena grinned and gave him a playful slap. “You don't get out of your black sheep status that easily.”
Dan laughed and looped his arm through hers. “You ready to face our respective firing squads?”
When they entered the apartment, Eric was already there, sitting in the living room with her mom and Rufus. The three of them looked very tense. She had a good idea why Rufus and her mother would be tense, but Eric seemed fine with the goings on in both hers and Dan's lives.
Lily spoke as soon as she noticed Serena and Dan.
“Did you know your brother is moving to California after Christmas?” Lily asked angrily. “Apparently he met some boy online and he's moving out there to be with him.”
Serena's jaw dropped, and she turned to Dan and noted that he didn't look nearly so shocked. Apparently Dan and Eric had really bonded in the Hamptons.
Dan leaned over so that he was close enough to whisper in her ear. “It looks like we might not be the black sheep today after all.”
At that moment, Charlie entered the living room. Noticing the tension, she turned to Serena. “What did I miss?” Charlie asked, confused.
“You were right. I really couldn't have scripted it better,” Serena whispered back to Dan.
Eric's big announcement managed to deflect the attention completely away from Serena, and Dan's book only came up a handful of times. Rufus never mentioned Dan's relationship with Blair, likely out of deference to Serena.
Dan and Serena left together, Eric still explaining this seemingly rash decision. When they got on the elevator, Serena turned to Dan.
“So, you knew about Eric?'
“Well, I knew about Roger,” Dan said, shaking his head. “I didn't know about his plan to move across the country, though I guess I'm not surprised. He really likes the guy.”
“So you saw them together in the Hamptons?” Serena wanted to know who the boy was who had stolen her brother's heart.
“Yeah, he stayed with us a few times,” Dan said, then smiled and leaned in conspiratorially. “Can I tell you a secret?”
“What?” Serena asked, intrigued.
“He didn't meet him online. Cece actually set them up.”
Serena's jaw dropped. “Seriously?” While her grandmother had never outwardly disapproved of Eric's homosexuality, she never would have imagined her grandma would actively assist Eric in finding a boyfriend. She supposed she decided to just take matters into her own hands lest Eric find some Humphrey equivalent.
“Yep,” Dan said, smiling wide. “Cece knew his family, and Roger mentioned at some party that he was heading to New York for a six-week internship. If you hadn't been busy working, you probably would have met him too.”
“The one time I skip a party,” Serena lamented teasingly. “So, I take it Eric said they met online so my mom won't hate him on sight.”
“You would know the answer to that better than I would,” Dan reminded her as they stepped out of the elevator.
“Yeah, he's my brother,” Serena said, feeling sad that she hadn't known anything about this relationship while Dan had been known from the beginning.
They walked together to the street, then stared at each other awkwardly. “You going back to Brooklyn?”
“Yeah,” Dan said, nodding. “I have something like three papers to write.”
Serena made a sympathetic face. “Have fun.”
As she watched Dan get into a cab, Serena realized that she still hadn't talked to her mom about her film school plans. She was beginning to think she might just have to set up a time to talk with her mom alone, as it appeared that she couldn't hold her mother's attention when there was a group of people in the room.
For the next few weeks, Serena began to adjust to changing circumstances. With a mom who loved both new husbands and remodeling, Serena was nothing if not adaptable. Blair was around most weeknights, as she had early morning classes three days a week and the commute from Brooklyn cut into her beauty sleep. Blair rarely discussed her relationship with Dan, and Serena never asked about it, always a little nervous that Blair would spill the more salacious details with her. All Serena really knew was that they both shared a passion for movies, art and literature, as Blair talked most about Dan when she would fume about some argument they had involving a book or movie. Apparently Blair still felt most comfortable talking about Dan when she was insulting him.
To her credit, Blair had been very considerate of Serena's feelings and tried to make the best of a bad situation. Dan rarely came by the penthouse, and he never stayed the night. For all Serena knew, Dan had never even seen Blair's bedroom. While on some level she felt a bit guilty that Blair couldn't host her boyfriend in her own home, she wasn't sure how she'd cope with knowing that Dan and Blair were in bed together on the other side of her wall. It was strange enough to know that Blair was gone because she was spending the night in Brooklyn.
Sometimes she wondered if this was how Blair felt when Serena and Nate were together while Blair practically lived at the Empire, or how Dan felt when Serena moved Ben into the loft. At the time, she hadn't really given those situations much thought. Now she felt somewhat guilty about having sex with Nate in the kitchen and for moving Ben into the loft without at least speaking to Dan first.
One night, Serena went down to the kitchen to pour herself a glass of wine to help her decompress after working on film school applications all evening. The penthouse felt strangely empty even though Blair had just been gone a few hours. Blair and Dan had gone to a movie at the Film Forum, something that sounded horribly morose and confusing to Serena. They had invited her to come, which had created a tense moment right before they left.
“Are you sure you don't want to come?” Blair had asked.
Serena smiled and shook her head. “I will leave you to your three hours of watching a movie about the pain of being human.”
“You know, you're going to have to sit through all kinds of movies in film school,” Dan said with a teasing smile. “You might as well do some test runs with us.”
Serena spotted Blair's hurt look before Dan did. Serena still hadn't told Blair about her film school plans, wanting to have some acceptances in hand to show Blair that she was serious. Serena could tell when Dan figured out what had happened, as he gently placed his hand at the small of Blair's back and started to lead her to the elevator.
“We'd better run if we're going to get a good seat,” Dan said hurriedly. “We'll see you later, Serena.”
Serena dawdled in the kitchen, trying to figure out how she was going to explain to Blair why she had told Dan about film school and not her. Her thoughts were interrupted by voices coming from the living room. Serena decided she'd go ahead face Blair head-on right now, not wanting any hurt feelings of Blair's to fester any longer than was necessary.
Serena stepped out of the kitchen and into the dining room. When she reached the edge of the dining room, which was still cloaked in darkness, she could see Dan pressing Blair into the piano, the two of them kissing passionately. Serena wanted to run back to the kitchen, but she couldn't take her eyes off the sight in front of her.
“You should probably go home,” Blair said breathlessly when Dan started to kiss her neck. “You know the rules.”
Dan kissed her briefly on the lips, then pressed his forehead against hers. “Yes, no funny business when Serena's here.”
Serena absently wondered if they had some clandestine rendezvouses when she she wasn't there.
“You know, I had sex with Chuck on this piano,” Blair said conversationally. Serena bristled. Now she really could never look at that piano the same way again.
Serena saw Dan move his body even closer to Blair's, his hands tightening on her hips. “I know that was meant to get me to leave, but somehow it had the opposite effect,” Dan said before he hoisted her onto the piano and began to kiss her again.
“Someone's feeling territorial,” Blair practically purred when they broke away for air. Dan gently stroked Blair's cheek with his hand.
“It goes both ways,” Dan said softly, almost so softly that Serena couldn't hear. “You don't think I figured out that there was no 'book' you needed to lend me, but you wanted to make some point because Serena told me and not you about film school?”
More than the making out, this was the most upsetting part yet. Serena had no idea that Dan understood Blair so well, which was pretty remarkable given the amount of time he'd known her. Serena prided herself on being able to see past Blair's little games, but it appeared that Dan was a quick learner when it came to Blair.
“You're not mad?” Blair asked, sounding vulnerable.
Dan brushed a stray hair out of Blair's face and smiled. “For trying to jump my bones? It's your rule that you were breaking.”
“No, for being jealous and insecure, and that being why I came on to you,” Blair said sheepishly.
Dan chuckled and shook his head. “I'm not mad. First, I assume you also find me irresistible, and that's partly why you started groping me in the elevator,” Dan said with a teasing grin before his face turned serious. “Second, I just wish you trusted how I feel about you. I love you, Blair.”
Serena felt her eyes well with tears at the same time Blair's did. “I love you too,” Blair said, giving Dan a watery smile. Dan leaned forward and pressed a reverent, almost chaste kiss to Blair's lips. When he pulled away, they beamed at each other, reminding Serena of a bride and groom during a wedding ceremony.
In that moment, Serena couldn't take any more. She slunk back into the kitchen, praying that they didn't break their rule and proceed to have sex on the piano. She had this feeling they might be loud enough for Serena to hear it all. She hoped they remembered she was in the penthouse.
Five minutes later, Serena breathed out a sigh of relief when she heard the elevator doors close. She slowly walked out of the kitchen, almost hitting Blair in the face with the door.
“Serena!” Blair gasped. “I thought you were upstairs.”
“I figured as much,” Serena said with a knowing look.
“How much did you see?” Blair asked questioningly.
“More than enough,” Serena answered truthfully.
“I'm sorry making you uncomfortable in your own home,” Blair said apologetically. While Serena believed her apology was sincere, she also knew that Dan was right and that Blair was making a statement by making out with Dan in the living room.
“Look, B, you don't need to be sorry,” Serena said, hoping Blair would hear the truth in her words. “It's just an uncomfortable situation.”
“It'll get better,” Blair said reassuringly.
“I really don't think it will,” Serena said, then quickly corrected herself when she saw the panicked look on Blair's face. “I don't mean that we can't be friends while you and Dan are together. I think it's just too much for us to also be roommates.”
“I want you here,” Blair protested. “I really don't need to spend every night with Humphrey.”
“Maybe not,” Serena said, trying to decide if she should reveal just how much she'd heard. “But I have a feeling that this was the first time that Dan told you that he loves you, but you're here with me and not with him.”
“We made things work when you were with Nate and I spent most nights at the Empire,” Blair pointed out.
“But you were with Chuck then,” Serena reminded her.
Serena could tell Blair was about to protest again, more to win the argument than anything else, but then she saw the fight go out of her.
“Fine, you win,” Blair sighed. “Go ahead and move out.”
“Blair, we're not breaking up,” Serena said consolingly. “I'm doing this because I'm afraid we can't be roommates, best friends and also have you date my ex. I think if we take out the roommate part of the equation that we'll do a lot better.”
“I will forgive you for abandoning me on one condition,” Blair stated in an authoritative voice.
“What's that?” Serena asked, raising an eyebrow.
“That we have one last sleepover tonight in my room,” Blair said with a wistful smile. “You did cheat me out of a much better sleepover.”
“I thought you had class first thing in the morning,” Serena reminded her.
“It's nothing Penelope can't handle,” Blair said dismissively.
“Then I'm in, so long as you never mention your other potential sleepover,” Serena responded with a laugh.
“Deal,” Blair said, with a nod of her head.
After a night of catching up and talking about nothing, Serena felt tired and content as she laid in Blair's bed. Right before she dozed off, Serena felt like a heavy weight had been lifted. She knew she had made the right decision by moving out. She already felt like she was getting her best friend back.