Meme day 8 and a little personal torture.

[becca1326]

So I have been thinking more and more about getting married. If I had a checklist for my life most of the wants would be checked off. Just a few left. Getting married is high on that list. I know some people think that marridge certificate is just a piece of paper and its the commitment that is the important part. I have the commitment. Chris and I have been together for a long time now. Frankly he is my first boyfriend. I hope my last as well. Who knows about whats going to happen in the future. I have made a decison though. The piece of paper is really important to me. In my plan it was fall in love, live together, get married, buy a house, enjoy each other, travel, have children then start a sucessful catering business. In that order, well maybe the travel before that but still in there. Now here I am. I have two beautiful children that I am so thankful for. Chris and I have fallen in love twice. :)We have lived together and still are. We have bought the house. No marriage or travel though. Though I am working on the catering business( I sell wedding cakes occasionally) its going to take a while and a lot of money to do. It will take time. So for my decision, I have decided that if we are not married by the time I am 30, when we go to Vegas we are getting married there. I have invited a lot of people to start saving to go for my birthday. Most of them are the ones that I want at my wedding. A few more that I would invite if I was going there to get married. Its not my dream. Not even close but being married, is one of my dreams. I have Chris and my kids. Thats my dream. I would have a reception back home for those who couldnt come. Three years is a long time to wait but by then Chris and I would have been together for 10 years. About time. So for the torture part. I was looking at wedding dresses online. Sigh. It makes me happy and sad. I have a few saved for styles that I would like to look at when the day does come. In my price range too. lol so sad. I like to look even though it makes me a little sad. Doesnt he want to marry me? Is that why it has been so long? Just small insecurities there. I know he loves me and thats the important part. Also my kids have their dads last name. Not mine. That bothers me. I cant take them anywhere without his permisson. We are flying back from Grande Prairie at the end of June. I have to get written permisson that is noterized to take them on the plane. My own children! Its kinda fusterating. Would be easier if they looked like me but no of course not. They look like there daddy and have his last name. Ugh. Another reason I want to get married. Not the main reason but a reason none the less. His job can be dangerous at time. The kids and I would be more protected if we were married. Another reason. The main one is that I want to be his wife. I want us to be spending the rest of our lives together as husband and wife. I have been really stuck on this since my moms family came back into our lives. They always introduce Chris to their friends as my husband. He isnt. Common law yes but my actual legal husband no. I hope he realizes how important this is to me. We had a minor conversation about it a little while ago. I know what he has in savings. Its almost enough for a small family wedding. I asked him what he was thinking about doing with the money and he said buy a new car. I said I would rather him spend the money on getting married then on a new vehicle, he said he would rather get the new vehicle first. Grr. So its going to be at least another two years before we can save the money for a wedding especially with me not going back to work. I kinda makes me sad.

Anyways enough of wedding talk. It only makes me sad. On to the song meme. Day 8-A song that you know all the words to. Ok. This one wasnt too bad. There is a lot of songs that I love. This one is at the top of the list. Its George Straight's I Cross My Heart. Love it. From the first moment I heard it. I also the movie Pure Country. When he sings the song at the end of the movie, I am in happy tears. I would just die happy if someone sang this to me. I want it played at my wedding.

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Enjoy. <3