I DONT LOVE YOU.
things are going semi-okay.
i mean, sure...im not doing so hot in
school but i guess thats my fault
for skipping so much. i just dont feel
up to going. ive actually been quite
depressed lately and have been visiting
a therapist in kent on tuesdays...but i
just find it weird that here i am, wanting
to be a psychologist that helps others,
cant even help myself. and i know that
helping yourself is the hardest thing to
do in life, but im just so exhausted.
im tired all the time. im not motivated
to do anything, but i know i shouldnt be.
i should be happy and carefree. but its
not like that. im losing my friends. im
hurting everyone around me...but its like...
i dont feel bad. at least yet. of course i
will feel bad when i feel the after-shocks
but i dont now. oh well i guess.
i talked to _________ today and asked him/her
about travis. like, what he was like before
i met him and if he has ever been a cheater
or whatnot. ________ put it this way: he
wants his cake [main female] AND his
ice cream [side female]. apparently, _________
didnt know that we were dating and that
travis was going through women left and right.
correct me if im wrong...but travis and i
had been dating since november of 2005.
now- if he was going through women
left and right-- WHERE THE HECK WAS I?
i was slightly pissed off, but i cooled
down and finally responded to _________
thanking him/her that i value his/her detailed
response and that i am grateful to hear
his/her opinions. i cried for a little bit
but i called matt and he calmed me down
reassuring the fact that travis is just
another douche bag that infects the world
with his douche bag ways. im not going to lie
though. i loved travis. more than anything in
this world... i just wish he would have been
real with me from the beginning. im a sucker
and i should have realized it, darnit.
anyways. besides that stuff, i guess
things are good. i mean, those are pretty much
the biggest problems i am faced with. i will
get through them though. im strong like that.
the big band dance was amazing. courtney, jenny,
and i hung out most of the time. i definately
had a blast. brad and his gf were there. and
i happened to see matt padilla and his girlfriend
megan waldroop. slightly awkward.
eric visited me, linds, and brad last friday, too.
he was here for his uw auditions for band.
he seemed to quite like the campus and he
even came to my psychology class with me to
get the feel of a big lecture hall. he said he
really liked it which makes me happy. i hope
that he doesnt choose any private school. i dont
think he would do well there. hes just not the
private school type, i guess. he needs freedom-
especially from his overbearing parents.
uhh...i talked to one of my old, old, old best
friends from junior high today, too. her name is
joyce and she is american samoan. i met her in 7th
grade. she was probably the biggest influence in
my life during junior high. and then i moved away
and totally lost her email- so im quite happy
with tom and his myspace today. (:
kevin and i met up and ate lunch at burgermaster
in the u-village today! we had tons of fun as usual.
that kid makes me laugh and can turn my
bad mood to a good one very easily. i enjoy my time
bonding with him and i hope he enjoys my company as
well.
well, i guess i have written enough. i just thought
i would update lj because i havent really given it
my all lately. so thanks for reading.
-h
i mean, sure...im not doing so hot in
school but i guess thats my fault
for skipping so much. i just dont feel
up to going. ive actually been quite
depressed lately and have been visiting
a therapist in kent on tuesdays...but i
just find it weird that here i am, wanting
to be a psychologist that helps others,
cant even help myself. and i know that
helping yourself is the hardest thing to
do in life, but im just so exhausted.
im tired all the time. im not motivated
to do anything, but i know i shouldnt be.
i should be happy and carefree. but its
not like that. im losing my friends. im
hurting everyone around me...but its like...
i dont feel bad. at least yet. of course i
will feel bad when i feel the after-shocks
but i dont now. oh well i guess.
i talked to _________ today and asked him/her
about travis. like, what he was like before
i met him and if he has ever been a cheater
or whatnot. ________ put it this way: he
wants his cake [main female] AND his
ice cream [side female]. apparently, _________
didnt know that we were dating and that
travis was going through women left and right.
correct me if im wrong...but travis and i
had been dating since november of 2005.
now- if he was going through women
left and right-- WHERE THE HECK WAS I?
i was slightly pissed off, but i cooled
down and finally responded to _________
thanking him/her that i value his/her detailed
response and that i am grateful to hear
his/her opinions. i cried for a little bit
but i called matt and he calmed me down
reassuring the fact that travis is just
another douche bag that infects the world
with his douche bag ways. im not going to lie
though. i loved travis. more than anything in
this world... i just wish he would have been
real with me from the beginning. im a sucker
and i should have realized it, darnit.
anyways. besides that stuff, i guess
things are good. i mean, those are pretty much
the biggest problems i am faced with. i will
get through them though. im strong like that.
the big band dance was amazing. courtney, jenny,
and i hung out most of the time. i definately
had a blast. brad and his gf were there. and
i happened to see matt padilla and his girlfriend
megan waldroop. slightly awkward.
eric visited me, linds, and brad last friday, too.
he was here for his uw auditions for band.
he seemed to quite like the campus and he
even came to my psychology class with me to
get the feel of a big lecture hall. he said he
really liked it which makes me happy. i hope
that he doesnt choose any private school. i dont
think he would do well there. hes just not the
private school type, i guess. he needs freedom-
especially from his overbearing parents.
uhh...i talked to one of my old, old, old best
friends from junior high today, too. her name is
joyce and she is american samoan. i met her in 7th
grade. she was probably the biggest influence in
my life during junior high. and then i moved away
and totally lost her email- so im quite happy
with tom and his myspace today. (:
kevin and i met up and ate lunch at burgermaster
in the u-village today! we had tons of fun as usual.
that kid makes me laugh and can turn my
bad mood to a good one very easily. i enjoy my time
bonding with him and i hope he enjoys my company as
well.
well, i guess i have written enough. i just thought
i would update lj because i havent really given it
my all lately. so thanks for reading.
-h