Canyon Coral
Shhhhhhhhhhhh, originally uploaded by Olive Talique.
I think sometimes that I am living in a canyon. That the canyon is a part of me, like my right ear. All delicate features and curves, sounds echoing muffled then clear pricking the back of my throat sending messages to my heart before sinking in my gut or lifting in my lungs. My canyon is unfeeling but I feel its smooth surface with the palm of my hand. I feel its unfeeling, the indifference. How it threatens to swallow me whole into it's cold carved out belly. I press my ear to my canyon wall until my cheek is bruised numb. Blood runs to my head and pools in my lips, making them red and stinging like coral. I hear a heart beat softly like tapping on a shell. I feel it waking and crawling into my ear before it comes to rest in my chest, sidled next to my heart. I climb further into my canyon. The light above narrows and squints, and I'm slipping between walls that press up against me like need or sympathy before relaxing their grip. I peer into a still pool resting on my canyon floor. Is this your eye? I sit and stare. I see you. My hand hovers above the water's surface. I feel you. Touching my hand. My hand touching. Moisture rises and collects on my fingertips. I know you are real. I bury my tears in the curve of my canyon wall. Your shoulder. I see the still pool come alive, shivering and quaking. Small circles expanding rippling out to tell me a secret. I tell you not to cry because I can't stand to see you sad. The stillness returns and we sit in silence. The wind stampedes over our heads and you decide it is time to go. Like continents deciding it is time to drift. You go. You exhale and pry me off of your thigh, your shoulder, and that small space of your back I'm always clinging to. You shove me into light. I stay transfixed, but not fixed. Broken. Broken down and left to remain in my exposed patch of ground. A small thing shuffles past, pausing briefly at my feet. I think I remember now. I see you sneak into me. Sideways. Scrambling soft footed at my canyon edge then down my canyon walls. I tilt my head and listen. I hear your whispers. All those syllabic codes echoed at the bottom of my canyon, bounding and rebounding in the cavity of my chest. Keeping me alive.