The BOMB.

[becala]

This is Eric's knuckle. The tattoo is a reference to our time in France, where we saw Kiss at Hellfest. You may or may not know this, depending on your familiarity with said supergroup, but Paul Stanley is a stage banter GOD. Witness:

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So one of his amazing pieces of stage banter from the show was to tell us, in his effeminate falsetto, that he was going to "give you THE BOOOOOMB," and kiss his hand, then make a dropping motion with his thumb and forefinger towards the audience. He said this several times, and the last time he said, "I'm gonna give you THE BOOOMMMMB, so you can feel me OUT THERE..." and then flew, on wires, out over the audience several hundred feet. No shit. The BOMB. Plus the usual fireworks and confetti and whatnot. None of us realized that we were that stoked on seeing Kiss until they were actually playing, and then all these super-kvlt black metal kids were having a drunken circle pit in the beer garden while they played "God Gave Rock n' Roll to You." Yes, the song from Bill & Ted's.

What the tattoo actually is about, though, is not just Kiss, just about unexpectedly AWESOME times. And that's what we had this last weekend.

I mean, the fest was called FUNFUNFUNfest, so of course it was going to be fun. But no, it was FUCKING GOD DAMN AWESOME. And of course everyone that we told about this fest kept assuming it was a metal fest, despite the fact that when I told them about it, I used many words to explain that it was a festival full of bands who had nothing in common other than being FUN. But I guess if I'm going, it must be heavy metal.

Anyway, highlights of the fest:

• Weird Al Yankovic! Holy shit, that guy is 51 and can still rock kick over his HEAD. This is what a vegan lifestyle and lots of exercise can do for you, folks. I don't know if it will help you be as funny as him, though. :)
• GWAR. This was actually my first time seeing them, and probably the best of all possible circumstances in which to see them. I was able to get within 6 feet of the stage and NOT get beaten to a bloody pulp, which is unheard of at Gwar shows. I probably could have gotten all the way to the barricade, but I actually don't like riding the barricade because I get a barricade shaped bruise on my belly from people pushing. I'd rather be 2-3 people back and be running into soft bodies instead. This was also an extra special performance, because they disemboweled Sarah Palin onstage. And ate a troll penis, but I think they do that often enough at their shows. I saw them on Saturday night. It is now Wednesday, and this morning I cleaned my ears and the q-tip came out with red and green food dye on it.
• Peelander Z.
  

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  So. Many. Mike. Dude, they dress up like Power Rangers, climb the stage, engage in plushy Guitar Squid Bowling out in the audience, recruit their audience members to play their instruments, and yell happy things at us in broken Engrish. All to a power-pop-punk soundtrack. What could be more fucking fun?
• DESCENDENTS. Holy shit, I srsly did not realize that I was so stoked on them. But they played all the singalongs: Cheer, Sour Grapes, Clean Sheets, Bikeage. I flipped my shit and lost my voice.
• Landmine Marathon and Punk Rock Karaoke. There was a free afterparty on Sunday at the Red 7. Folks were on stage indoors doing karaoke to the Cramps and the Misfits, and outdoors, these guys played:
  

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  Their songs are mostly faster and less doomy, more thrash with some hardcore influence, but I couldn't find a good youtube video of any of those. This one has fantastic sound. But yeah, Sandra totally got in the pit, which shocked the hell out of me. There were about 6 people moshing, and somehow I got more hurt than I had the entire weekend in those gigantic crowds. One guy got knocked the fuck out. Heheh. Minor downer was the fact that the audience members found themselves unable to comment on anything about the vocalist other than her appearance. Girl screams better than many large men, but the most important thing about her is that she's "a babe." Which she is, and she totally capitalizes on it as a vocalist and a performer, but still. It shouldn't be that difficult to notice that she is also talented.
• Oh, and Burghard and I did not fight all weekend. Bonus.

So yes, I'm home, and exhausted. And now lunch is over, so I have to go play more catchup.