Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull
Ah, the AARP Harrison Ford looks good as ever, hanging off trucks, cracking the whip, involved in improbable chase scenes in exotic locales. I'd hit that.
And his love interest, Mary (Karen someone), from the first movie, looks great, like a Mom, but still nice looking, still fresh.
But the idea behind the movie, the Indiana Jones idea, is too old to be viable. Get off the stage, gramps!
SPOILERS*********
Let's see - why, if I see a beautiful temple, parts of which were constructed as real sets, not CGI, at great expense and man-hours, why do I know it is going to be destroyed? Oh, the waste!
Also, Messrs. Lucas and Spielberg should be told that the X-Files craze ended with the last century. Of sure, it lingered, but it was done, exhausted from all that kidnapping and probing, first with the wee little probe, then the really large probe. Aliens are kitsch now, hence, not scary.
Jones, it's not the size of the scorpion, is it? I thought it was the size of the claws?
That hat? It's not magic!
Shia LeBoeff? Weeeener.
Did rifles and machine guns in the 50's contain no iron? How about gold? How about the buttons on army uniforms? Does steel contain iron? I was puzzled by which items skittered across the floor of The Warehouse early in the movie. Did the light fixtures contain gold? The properties of this "magnetic" field confused me.
Also, Jones must be a cousin to Tony Stark, because he could be shut into a fridge and blown like a mile into the air, but still land in the sand and not roll out of his metal coffin in 30 pieces. Not a broken bone, not a scratch. Hnm.
And why does this ability extend to anyone in a metal boat with him? I noticed that groups of his cohorts go over 3 waterfalls and all they do is get wet. They should have been killed.
Lastly, the evil Russian hottie - was she water proof? Because everyone else seemed to get dirty, damp, or even soaked, but right up the end, she was unrumpled with make up in place. Now that's a mysterious psychic power, baby - I think she projected her image, and was really a short broad woman with a sabre scar, but found that an icy hottie got men to do her bidding without punching them. Note that she punched like a east german lady shot-putter, despite her delicate frame - suspicious.
So, I can't recommend this movie unless you are drunk or stoned or in a really giggly mood. It's just too dumb. If you're a fan of John Hurt, don't go - he does fine, but his presence points up the dumbness even more, by contrast.
And his love interest, Mary (Karen someone), from the first movie, looks great, like a Mom, but still nice looking, still fresh.
But the idea behind the movie, the Indiana Jones idea, is too old to be viable. Get off the stage, gramps!
SPOILERS*********
Let's see - why, if I see a beautiful temple, parts of which were constructed as real sets, not CGI, at great expense and man-hours, why do I know it is going to be destroyed? Oh, the waste!
Also, Messrs. Lucas and Spielberg should be told that the X-Files craze ended with the last century. Of sure, it lingered, but it was done, exhausted from all that kidnapping and probing, first with the wee little probe, then the really large probe. Aliens are kitsch now, hence, not scary.
Jones, it's not the size of the scorpion, is it? I thought it was the size of the claws?
That hat? It's not magic!
Shia LeBoeff? Weeeener.
Did rifles and machine guns in the 50's contain no iron? How about gold? How about the buttons on army uniforms? Does steel contain iron? I was puzzled by which items skittered across the floor of The Warehouse early in the movie. Did the light fixtures contain gold? The properties of this "magnetic" field confused me.
Also, Jones must be a cousin to Tony Stark, because he could be shut into a fridge and blown like a mile into the air, but still land in the sand and not roll out of his metal coffin in 30 pieces. Not a broken bone, not a scratch. Hnm.
And why does this ability extend to anyone in a metal boat with him? I noticed that groups of his cohorts go over 3 waterfalls and all they do is get wet. They should have been killed.
Lastly, the evil Russian hottie - was she water proof? Because everyone else seemed to get dirty, damp, or even soaked, but right up the end, she was unrumpled with make up in place. Now that's a mysterious psychic power, baby - I think she projected her image, and was really a short broad woman with a sabre scar, but found that an icy hottie got men to do her bidding without punching them. Note that she punched like a east german lady shot-putter, despite her delicate frame - suspicious.
So, I can't recommend this movie unless you are drunk or stoned or in a really giggly mood. It's just too dumb. If you're a fan of John Hurt, don't go - he does fine, but his presence points up the dumbness even more, by contrast.