Spoiler Warning: THE GOOD GUYS WIN
Just got back from the early premiere of "Harry Potter 7 Part 2" Chapter 3 Section 9 Sub-File 20 Kansas City Chiefs 0 and some reactions are had here!
(Also, for those who missed it, I'm still taking fills for International Femslash Day over here until 12:01 AM Sunday July 17.)
YES THIS PLEASES BEBOP
-Easily among the Tier 1 Potter films! (Scorcerer's Stone, Azkaban) For clocking in at over 2 hours, it feels surprisingly complete and, more importantly, well-paced. This was my major concern after Part 1, which was mostly buildup that went nowhere (good buildup, mind) and left a huge chunk of the actual happenings for Part 2. This isn't to say you don't feel its length at times (you do), but it keeps the tension up and makes its brief lullls MATTER.
-Everyone is at their best! EVERYONE!
-FUCK YEAH NEVILLE AND MOLLY KICKING ASS
-EPIC Ron/Hermione finally-paying-off-a-decade-of-beating-around-the-bush-kiss IS EPIC
-BIG BEAUTIFUL FIGHT SCENES!
-CONVINCING CGI!
-NOT FUCKING AROUND WITH THE INDISCRIMINATE DEATHS
-SAD LILY/SEVERUS IS SAD
-Properly conveys the genuine emotion of the finale-- everything feels just like it did when you read the book
SON I AM DISAPPOINT
-Harry/Voldemort final battle pointlessly dragged out! Seriously they do the big significant Melty Wand Laser Thing from Goblet of Fire like EIGHT BILLION TIMES and for no reason they're running around all over Hogwarts. I did have some LOLs when Harry pulls him off the castle into freefall and when he throws his arms around Voldy and for a minute there I thought they were gonna make out
-Exact same actors for the epilogue! I was kind of interested to see who they'd cast for the big 19 YEARS LATER thing and to my bewilderment... they kept the EXACT SAME PEOPLE... to occasionally unintended hilarious results. Ron... with a beer belly! Ginny with Murphy Brown-hair! Harry... looking weirdly the EXACT SAME! Draco... Okay, more on that later.
-MORE VIOLENCE PLZ! I suppose this has been more an issue of difference between the books and movies from as far back as Chamber of Secrets, but it's really on display here. Rowling always had a quick approach to violence in the books, and after a while you get the feeling it's there more as a necessary evil that she prefers to get through quickly and move on to important shit like the plot and characters and trolling shippers. The movies tend to DWELL on them, understandably because you gotta have your big action scenes but there are bits like Snape's far more gruesome death and several people getting horribly swallowed by fire to the point where it becomes a little questionable. And then there's the Harry/Voldemort duel again, so yeah.
-No Gay!Dumbledore-- Okay, so Dumbledore's sexuality wasn't revealed in the books either and was a total post-midnight throwaway factoid on Rowling's part, but considering we all KNOW this now (and Rowling even revealed it early to the filmmakers when they'd talked about a scene in an earlier movie where Dumbledore was going to reminisce about some chick while Harry was having girl troubles), it seems weirdly puritan to act all coy about it now and not even HINT at it. A character like Dumbledore-- the beloved, trusted mentor figure-- is in many ways infinitely more significant a gay character than a walking stereotype like "Glee's" Kurt, and to blow off even a suggestion of such-- ESPECIALLY while they're waving around their PG-13 rating ANYWAY-- feels like a copout.
WHAT IS THIS I DON'T EVEN
-Alan Rickman is officially trolling us! You know how one of the running side jokes of the series has always been that Alan Rickman as Snape Has. Way Too. Many. Awk. Ward. Pauses Between. His. Words? It officially becomes comical here in the scene about midway when he addresses the students of Hogwarts because he suspects Harry is there. You'll know EXACTLY what I mean when you hear it.
-OH AND BEE-TEE-DUBS "I've been mad about Luna forever! I'd better go tell her!"
*Record scratching noise* ...Wait WHAT
So yeah, with that weirdly out-of-place line, longtime fandom ship Neville/Luna becomes canon in the laziest way possible. The only problem is that there is ZERO basis for it in the movies (I think they MAY talk ONCE in Phoenix) and even LESS SO IN THE BOOKS. It is literally just THAT LINE and a small bit where she sits next to him in the aftermath and THAT'S IT. I understand that it was put there primarily as just that, fanservice, especially in response to Luna's canon!ending where she gets married to Some Random Bro and many (myself included because Luna was always my favorite character) called bullshit on that. But considering there was never a hint of interest shown between them, time has not particularly made this (let's call it what it is) crackship work. Besides, if we're just going with random shit because the fandom wants it, then what about the surprisingly large amount of people who read Luna as gay/bi or all the Remus/Sirius shippers or the really depraved, twisted people who thought Bellatrix/Hermione had all kinds of deliciously kinky potential HMMMMMMMMMM
-DRACO'S EPILOGUE GOATEE! IT IS THE FAKEST MOST RIDICULOUS LOOKING GOATEE EVER AND I DIED LAUGHING THE SECOND I SAW IT.
OH GOD, I WANT THAT CLIP TURNED INTO A GIF. THEN SCREENCAPPED. THEN BLOWN UP INTO A POSTER. AND THEN TURNED INTO A MEME WHERE IT'S JUST DRACO'S GOATEE REACTING TO STUFF. AND THEN DRACO/GOATEE BECOMES THE TRUE SERIES OTP.
(Sorry Tom Felton, even YOU can't make that Tribble living on your face look good XDDDDDDD)
-HEY PAY ATTENTION IDIOTS! So remember how after Book 7 came out and everyone wasn't quite sure how exactly Harry was the proper owner of the Elder Wand and all that? Well rest assured, because Harry tells you in detail precisely how that happened!
...No, REALLY. There is a point where he is ostensibly explaining it to Ron and Hermione, but he is LITERALLY STARING DIRECTLY AT THE CAMERA, AND THUS EXPLAINING IT TO THE AUDIENCE IN A WEIRDLY META FASHION.
(This still doesn't really explain, however, how Harry managed to kill Voldemort while somehow ALSO keeping his hands clean of murder, and the way it's shot mke it clear that the FILMMAKERS MAY NOT EVEN KNOW EITHER XD Maybe that's the REAL magic trick!)
(Also, for those who missed it, I'm still taking fills for International Femslash Day over here until 12:01 AM Sunday July 17.)
YES THIS PLEASES BEBOP
-Easily among the Tier 1 Potter films! (Scorcerer's Stone, Azkaban) For clocking in at over 2 hours, it feels surprisingly complete and, more importantly, well-paced. This was my major concern after Part 1, which was mostly buildup that went nowhere (good buildup, mind) and left a huge chunk of the actual happenings for Part 2. This isn't to say you don't feel its length at times (you do), but it keeps the tension up and makes its brief lullls MATTER.
-Everyone is at their best! EVERYONE!
-FUCK YEAH NEVILLE AND MOLLY KICKING ASS
-EPIC Ron/Hermione finally-paying-off-a-decade-of-beating-around-the-bush-kiss IS EPIC
-BIG BEAUTIFUL FIGHT SCENES!
-CONVINCING CGI!
-NOT FUCKING AROUND WITH THE INDISCRIMINATE DEATHS
-SAD LILY/SEVERUS IS SAD
-Properly conveys the genuine emotion of the finale-- everything feels just like it did when you read the book
SON I AM DISAPPOINT
-Harry/Voldemort final battle pointlessly dragged out! Seriously they do the big significant Melty Wand Laser Thing from Goblet of Fire like EIGHT BILLION TIMES and for no reason they're running around all over Hogwarts. I did have some LOLs when Harry pulls him off the castle into freefall and when he throws his arms around Voldy and for a minute there I thought they were gonna make out
-Exact same actors for the epilogue! I was kind of interested to see who they'd cast for the big 19 YEARS LATER thing and to my bewilderment... they kept the EXACT SAME PEOPLE... to occasionally unintended hilarious results. Ron... with a beer belly! Ginny with Murphy Brown-hair! Harry... looking weirdly the EXACT SAME! Draco... Okay, more on that later.
-MORE VIOLENCE PLZ! I suppose this has been more an issue of difference between the books and movies from as far back as Chamber of Secrets, but it's really on display here. Rowling always had a quick approach to violence in the books, and after a while you get the feeling it's there more as a necessary evil that she prefers to get through quickly and move on to important shit like the plot and characters and trolling shippers. The movies tend to DWELL on them, understandably because you gotta have your big action scenes but there are bits like Snape's far more gruesome death and several people getting horribly swallowed by fire to the point where it becomes a little questionable. And then there's the Harry/Voldemort duel again, so yeah.
-No Gay!Dumbledore-- Okay, so Dumbledore's sexuality wasn't revealed in the books either and was a total post-midnight throwaway factoid on Rowling's part, but considering we all KNOW this now (and Rowling even revealed it early to the filmmakers when they'd talked about a scene in an earlier movie where Dumbledore was going to reminisce about some chick while Harry was having girl troubles), it seems weirdly puritan to act all coy about it now and not even HINT at it. A character like Dumbledore-- the beloved, trusted mentor figure-- is in many ways infinitely more significant a gay character than a walking stereotype like "Glee's" Kurt, and to blow off even a suggestion of such-- ESPECIALLY while they're waving around their PG-13 rating ANYWAY-- feels like a copout.
WHAT IS THIS I DON'T EVEN
-Alan Rickman is officially trolling us! You know how one of the running side jokes of the series has always been that Alan Rickman as Snape Has. Way Too. Many. Awk. Ward. Pauses Between. His. Words? It officially becomes comical here in the scene about midway when he addresses the students of Hogwarts because he suspects Harry is there. You'll know EXACTLY what I mean when you hear it.
-OH AND BEE-TEE-DUBS "I've been mad about Luna forever! I'd better go tell her!"
*Record scratching noise* ...Wait WHAT
So yeah, with that weirdly out-of-place line, longtime fandom ship Neville/Luna becomes canon in the laziest way possible. The only problem is that there is ZERO basis for it in the movies (I think they MAY talk ONCE in Phoenix) and even LESS SO IN THE BOOKS. It is literally just THAT LINE and a small bit where she sits next to him in the aftermath and THAT'S IT. I understand that it was put there primarily as just that, fanservice, especially in response to Luna's canon!ending where she gets married to Some Random Bro and many (myself included because Luna was always my favorite character) called bullshit on that. But considering there was never a hint of interest shown between them, time has not particularly made this (let's call it what it is) crackship work. Besides, if we're just going with random shit because the fandom wants it, then what about the surprisingly large amount of people who read Luna as gay/bi or all the Remus/Sirius shippers or the really depraved, twisted people who thought Bellatrix/Hermione had all kinds of deliciously kinky potential HMMMMMMMMMM
-DRACO'S EPILOGUE GOATEE! IT IS THE FAKEST MOST RIDICULOUS LOOKING GOATEE EVER AND I DIED LAUGHING THE SECOND I SAW IT.
OH GOD, I WANT THAT CLIP TURNED INTO A GIF. THEN SCREENCAPPED. THEN BLOWN UP INTO A POSTER. AND THEN TURNED INTO A MEME WHERE IT'S JUST DRACO'S GOATEE REACTING TO STUFF. AND THEN DRACO/GOATEE BECOMES THE TRUE SERIES OTP.
(Sorry Tom Felton, even YOU can't make that Tribble living on your face look good XDDDDDDD)
-HEY PAY ATTENTION IDIOTS! So remember how after Book 7 came out and everyone wasn't quite sure how exactly Harry was the proper owner of the Elder Wand and all that? Well rest assured, because Harry tells you in detail precisely how that happened!
...No, REALLY. There is a point where he is ostensibly explaining it to Ron and Hermione, but he is LITERALLY STARING DIRECTLY AT THE CAMERA, AND THUS EXPLAINING IT TO THE AUDIENCE IN A WEIRDLY META FASHION.
(This still doesn't really explain, however, how Harry managed to kill Voldemort while somehow ALSO keeping his hands clean of murder, and the way it's shot mke it clear that the FILMMAKERS MAY NOT EVEN KNOW EITHER XD Maybe that's the REAL magic trick!)