Final Fantasy XIII: Ongoing Thoughts day 4
-Gee, I wonder if Vanille is gonna turn out to be someone important associated with Pulse... And judging by RPG cliches I'm gonna say... princess?
-New effeminate male character: "Hi, I'm the populist bad guy who's not really a bad guy because I'm really sympathetic somehow and will turn good before the game ends." Also, LOOK AT MY SWORD AND HAIRCUT WOO I'M KIND OF LIKE THOSE TWATS FROM ADVENT CHILDREN LOLOLOL"
-Okay, new mission with Lightning and Hope and it's... a forced stealth mission. Suck my balls.
-HOW THE FUCK SHOULD I KNOW 'HOW MUCH FURTHER,' HOPE. IT'S YOUR FUCKING LITTLE SHORTCUT.
-More evidence for the Lightning > Cloud debate--
*shows emotion
*cares about other people from the get-go
*no amnesia
*smiles (well okay it's more of a half-smirk and it's barely all of a second but EVEN SO)
*punches morons in the face instead of doing the ellipsis crap that everyone else does in these games
*VA actually putting effort into the performance
*reminds me of Clare from "Claymore" and being reminded of "Claymore" is always a good thing
*no overcompensatory phallic sword
*does not have a childhood friend LI to blow off while pining for a conveniently unattainable dead girl
-"Hope, you need to find the Hope that's the Hope you were Hopefully named for when Hope is Hope but YOU'RE Hope or maybe I mean Hope the thing or GAAAHHHHH BRAIN ANYEURISM"
-Snow's summon: really slick looking but ultimately underwhelming that's what she said OH SNAP
-Oh hey Fang! Glad to see you're... um... suddenly on OUR side with absolutely no explanation for WHY! Still, your disheveled cougaresque hotness is certainly appreciated~
-Oh hey Lightning, great plan leaving Hope with the guy he's been hellbent on killing for the last day or so still holding an easily concealable knife~
-Also GODDAMN Snow, could you have planned that little exchange ANY MORE POORLY? XD
-Tampon-shaped cellphones OF THE FUTURE!
-Seriously, Fang is just mmmmmmmmmmmmm and the visible muscle mass doesn't help ♥ She's like Yoruichi if Yoruichi had anything resembling a grasp on human emotions.
-Also have no idea what her accent is but mmmmmmm sorry I'll stop this now.
-Good thing the big bad army seems to suffer from immediate exhaustion and will stop chasing you pretty much within the first three seconds you decide to run past them.
-also, here's something to consider Squeenix: If you're really developing the character that well and are making their feelings and motivations clear, YOU REALLY DON'T NEED TO DETAIL THEM ON THE GAME LOAD SCREENS. It's not exactly like you're making "2001" here and we need a laundry list of overly analytical explanations.
-Daww how sad the people that Hope and Snow were trying to save from getting purged turned on them because of an ancient prejudice :( or at least, it would be considerably MORE sad if Snow hadn't, you know, FIRED A GUN INTO A CROWD SECONDS AGO BEFORE SHOUTING "I AM A PULSE L'CIE AND AM HERE TO KILL YOU ALL." I mean yeah, you had to clear them away from the army but WHAT DID YOU EXPECT THEM TO DO AFTER THAT HUH. Because, you know, NOBODY WOULD PANIC OR RUN AWAY FROM JUST FIRING A GUN INTO A CROWD.
-pfft again I know it's supposed to be heartbreaking/depressing/whatever but all I can do is think about the angry mob from "Young Frankenstein" and LOL in response XD
-Okay Hope, c'mon... just confront Snow NOW about your mom while there's a break in the action and then we ca--OH FUCK YOU.
-Billboards in 'emotional' games about protags with troubled families saying "a great place for family living:" just below the "YOU DESERVE THIS" billboard in The Happening in terms of subtletyOH AND A PASSING AIRSHIP THING BLEW IT UP HOW CUTE AND EVEN MORE SUBTLE.
-What do you mean we don't have any hope? You're right here OH I SEE IT'S THE OTHER KIND OF HOPE NEvERMIND.
-Okay, I think I've realized there's a slight issue with the Weapon Level-Up thing: once you start levelling something up (or at least this is the case for each one I've come across), you might as well just stick with it because odds are any other weapons you find are going to be considerably weaker than something you've upgraded, which kind of sticks a rod into the spokes of the RPG staple of searching-chests-for-weapons. A better option would just be to scrap 'new' weapons altogether and just stick to everyone having a specific weapon that you focus on upgrading. Apparently when a weapon gets to a certain level it 'evolves' (again with the Pokemon vibes) into a better one that you can ALSo upgrade, so why bother finding a new one?
-...Oh wow, Hope actually brought it up finally :O Aaaannd... NOW he's gonna knife him while he's hanging from a ledge WHUT? XD When the hell did this turn into The Littlest Assassin's Creed?
-...And all I gotta say is, better hope you wake up first there, Snow >.>
-Hm... well, I'd heard all about the whole Fang/Vanille dynamic, but odds are it's just overhyped and-- *Vanille's escape*... actually, nevermind, I think this might be the real deal XD
-Aaand YES we have confirmation on the whole 'Vanille is from Pulse' thing almost right away. No word on whether or not she's a princess though, but I'll keep waiting~
-OH EPIC BITCH SLAP THAR LIGHTNING
-Love how the whole 'you can sneak past enemies if you want' approach can get negated after a while.
-And here's another thing characteristic of bad anime writing (or maybe I should just call it 'anime writing')-- EXASPERATINGLY DETAILING YOUR EMOTIONAL JOURNEY TO SOMEONE =/= CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT. It's like how whenever someone tells the main character "you've changed" basically means they really haven't at all. God forbid we be able to get this sort of thing across by, say, ACTIONS or even subtle, brief assessments as opposed to a half-hour of self-analysis. I suppose I should be glad that it hasn't dropped into the nightmarish last-few-episodes-of-Evangelion nadier of bullshit analysis made up of stock footage, but Christ that shouldn't even be something to WORRY ABOUT. COME ON.
-Okay, that boss I fought with Snow and Hope is back and I'm... fighting it ALONE AS HOPE. ...If this isn't a 'supposed to lose' fight or doesn't result in me gettig my Pokesummon I'm going to be VERY PISSED OFF.
-aaaannd...Lightning/Fang decided to show up just as the health bar sank! Great timing there guys.
-Okay, REALLY REALLY getting the Clare/Raki vibes from Hope/Lightning XD Honestly, again I'm okay with that. If she MUST be with someone (and since of course a woman being content and single is as hilarious and unimaginable as the Final Fantasies themselves), I'd rather it'd be with Sazh, but whatever.
-...Huh, Hope's dad actually proved to be an OK guy. So the amount of expectations this game has defied has been exactly 1% of them.
-Fang: "Ha ha. Even though I joined the group much later and had very little to do with the whole Hope thing at all, I'm going to stand off to the side, nodding sagely like I had something to do with him finally reconciling with his father!" :D