Small moment of panic...
I've been working on my homework today, mainly that four way book review for a class I'm taking with my honour's research supervisor. It's not as terrible as it sounds: you pick four books on the same topic and compare and contrast how they're addressed. I picked American Women's roles in the Second World War, and I've finished reading the books and I'm working on an outline now. I really just have to sit down and write it... and finish it, of course, two days before it's due because some twit has recalled one of the four books and it's due back several days before the paper is due... and I would hate to suddenly need to look up something in a book that's in someone else's hands and isn't available online anywhere.
But that's not what I'm feeling panicky about: several other things are making my stomach get all knotted up.
What prompted this? I quickly checked my school e-mail after my break for lunch (I have Fridays off... to do homework!), and I had received an e-mail whose subject like was "spring convocation". "Huzzah!", thought I, thinking that my application to graduate had gone through.
...Not quite. I'm apparently missing one course's worth of credit in something called "Group 3". I have everything else covered: my artsy-fartsy credits, my science credits, my second-language credits, more history credits than you can shake a stick at... but not enough in "group 3". The only hint as to what else I could take was that the half of the credits I needed for that were in a Political Science course from my time in France.
In big bold red letters, the e-mail told me that as it was I was not good to graduate in Spring.
This was me, inside:
Luckily, there was a toll-free number at the bottom of the e-mail so I called up a nice (if bored-sounding) lady to ask what I could possibly take. I'm waiting to hear back from her at the moment: she's promised to e-mail me the huge list of courses I can take to complete the credit in something called "breadth of diversity". Apparently poli sci, anthropology, economics, and a bunch of other things are on that list. I'm still trying not to panic. I mean, I'm only registered in three scheduled courses next semester (plus my thesis, which isn't a scheduled class), so I shall hopefully have space. I'm just feeling anxious. It could be for nothing. Maybe I can take Anthropology 101 and be fine. I think I can easily fit another course into my schedule, especially on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. Hopefully.
This panic is related to the horror I felt at getting a poor mark on a big assignment in my introduction to translation class (9/15, or a C-, on a deceptively easy assignment worth FIFTEEN PERCENT of my final course mark). See, I'm in the honour's programme, so if my GPA dips below a certain average, or any one mark is below a certain point (I think that it's the equivalent of a B or B+), I will fail out of the programme. I don't have enough credits to complete a French minor, so I'd have to take at least another semester to complete my degree. I don't think that it has come to that, but... yeah. ANXIETY. (Most history profs know who the honours history students are, and unless you get a ridiculously low mark in their class they don't want to be the dick that kicks you out of the programme, but the translation professor is in a completely different faculty and may have no such compunctions.)
It's also related to the fact that I'm terrified of my future. I don't have anything planned for next year. Nothing confirmed. What I really need to do is go about and apply for a bunch of jobs, hopefully abroad. I'm right now tossing around the idea of applying for this paid internship at the Smithsonian Institution in the states, or possibly this tour guide job at the Vimy Ridge memorial in France. I want to improve my French, you see, and get out in the world before I leap into another degree. Next week I plan to visit the "study abroad" office in HUB to see what they have on offer for work abroad programmes.
I also feel anxious because my original plan was to take a year off and go on the JET programme to get teaching experience and then go into education, but I'm not sure if that's what I want anymore. Maybe the latter. My twin sister just applied for JET, and asked me why I wasn't - I had totally forgotten about it. Maybe I was discouraged because I've heard so much about how difficult it is to get into the programme without any teaching experience... which my sister has. If she doesn't get in, then I had no chance.
Right now, I'm planning on taking a year off after getting this degree (PLEASE LET ME GRADUATE) before deciding if Grad school is really what I want to do. My current thought processes/options are as follows, after my year off:
-apply for grad school, get a masters in history, become a professor (which would be cool, but jobs will be thin on the ground until more and more profs retire in five years or so)
-apply for a translation school in Ottawa, become a French-English translator (hinges on me becoming more comfortable in my French language skills)
-look into things like diplomacy, and what you need for that. Probably more political science courses.
-maybe go and get a two-year after degree in education and just work as a teacher? They get summers off, at least?
-WHO KNOWS MAYBE I SHOULD JUST JOIN THE ARMY THEY HAVE GUARANTEED JOBS POSSIBLY.
Also, somewhere in there I need to become a famous author and live off of royalties from my books for the rest of my life.
*flaily hands*
*MUST GO AND MAKE TEA*
But that's not what I'm feeling panicky about: several other things are making my stomach get all knotted up.
What prompted this? I quickly checked my school e-mail after my break for lunch (I have Fridays off... to do homework!), and I had received an e-mail whose subject like was "spring convocation". "Huzzah!", thought I, thinking that my application to graduate had gone through.
...Not quite. I'm apparently missing one course's worth of credit in something called "Group 3". I have everything else covered: my artsy-fartsy credits, my science credits, my second-language credits, more history credits than you can shake a stick at... but not enough in "group 3". The only hint as to what else I could take was that the half of the credits I needed for that were in a Political Science course from my time in France.
In big bold red letters, the e-mail told me that as it was I was not good to graduate in Spring.
This was me, inside:
Luckily, there was a toll-free number at the bottom of the e-mail so I called up a nice (if bored-sounding) lady to ask what I could possibly take. I'm waiting to hear back from her at the moment: she's promised to e-mail me the huge list of courses I can take to complete the credit in something called "breadth of diversity". Apparently poli sci, anthropology, economics, and a bunch of other things are on that list. I'm still trying not to panic. I mean, I'm only registered in three scheduled courses next semester (plus my thesis, which isn't a scheduled class), so I shall hopefully have space. I'm just feeling anxious. It could be for nothing. Maybe I can take Anthropology 101 and be fine. I think I can easily fit another course into my schedule, especially on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. Hopefully.
This panic is related to the horror I felt at getting a poor mark on a big assignment in my introduction to translation class (9/15, or a C-, on a deceptively easy assignment worth FIFTEEN PERCENT of my final course mark). See, I'm in the honour's programme, so if my GPA dips below a certain average, or any one mark is below a certain point (I think that it's the equivalent of a B or B+), I will fail out of the programme. I don't have enough credits to complete a French minor, so I'd have to take at least another semester to complete my degree. I don't think that it has come to that, but... yeah. ANXIETY. (Most history profs know who the honours history students are, and unless you get a ridiculously low mark in their class they don't want to be the dick that kicks you out of the programme, but the translation professor is in a completely different faculty and may have no such compunctions.)
It's also related to the fact that I'm terrified of my future. I don't have anything planned for next year. Nothing confirmed. What I really need to do is go about and apply for a bunch of jobs, hopefully abroad. I'm right now tossing around the idea of applying for this paid internship at the Smithsonian Institution in the states, or possibly this tour guide job at the Vimy Ridge memorial in France. I want to improve my French, you see, and get out in the world before I leap into another degree. Next week I plan to visit the "study abroad" office in HUB to see what they have on offer for work abroad programmes.
I also feel anxious because my original plan was to take a year off and go on the JET programme to get teaching experience and then go into education, but I'm not sure if that's what I want anymore. Maybe the latter. My twin sister just applied for JET, and asked me why I wasn't - I had totally forgotten about it. Maybe I was discouraged because I've heard so much about how difficult it is to get into the programme without any teaching experience... which my sister has. If she doesn't get in, then I had no chance.
Right now, I'm planning on taking a year off after getting this degree (PLEASE LET ME GRADUATE) before deciding if Grad school is really what I want to do. My current thought processes/options are as follows, after my year off:
-apply for grad school, get a masters in history, become a professor (which would be cool, but jobs will be thin on the ground until more and more profs retire in five years or so)
-apply for a translation school in Ottawa, become a French-English translator (hinges on me becoming more comfortable in my French language skills)
-look into things like diplomacy, and what you need for that. Probably more political science courses.
-maybe go and get a two-year after degree in education and just work as a teacher? They get summers off, at least?
-WHO KNOWS MAYBE I SHOULD JUST JOIN THE ARMY THEY HAVE GUARANTEED JOBS POSSIBLY.
Also, somewhere in there I need to become a famous author and live off of royalties from my books for the rest of my life.
*flaily hands*
*MUST GO AND MAKE TEA*