So much...
So much yet so little has happened lately. I guess the bg news is that I bought a brand new car. Yeah its financed of course but its brand new literally! It really feels like the first break that I have gotten in Lord knows how long. I mean literally I have had some really rough times in the past few months and I guess me being how I am now is finally paying off. I haven't been stressing, I've been trying to focus on being grateful for what I have, and just fighting to have faith in myself and believing that if I work for it and deserve things then it will work out. So I may not have a place to live yet, or even anything else, but I have a car. Its something I have needed especially to establish credit. Its a huge deal to me to see something like this happen because Lord knows I made my own ife a living hell, so I am just trying to enjoy it now.
And on to the stressful part. I obvoiusly have a lot to think abotu on my own. I am not stressing about anything, or worrying or even getting upset. I am trying to stay calm abotu everything but my stuff is being over shadowed by some family matters, Its hard to see what is going on and see its effects on people. But it really does put things into perspective for me as to how my life would hae ended up if I didn't become so determined to better myself and change. It really is sad. I am tryign to stay calm abotu everythign and I am its just hard sometimes when I get to thinking. Because we all know that I think way too much. I just keep telling myself though that I made my life how it is. And the only way for it to get better is for me to get better so that what I am watching happen to my family will never happen to me. Course it would have to have certain elements to get like that, and those elements may never exist. I knwo this is really vague, but I know what I am talking about and I just wanted to write a little. Again, there is very few who read it, really only one occasional reader I think. So it doesnt really matter if any outside perosn cant understand anything.
And on to the stressful part. I obvoiusly have a lot to think abotu on my own. I am not stressing about anything, or worrying or even getting upset. I am trying to stay calm abotu everything but my stuff is being over shadowed by some family matters, Its hard to see what is going on and see its effects on people. But it really does put things into perspective for me as to how my life would hae ended up if I didn't become so determined to better myself and change. It really is sad. I am tryign to stay calm abotu everythign and I am its just hard sometimes when I get to thinking. Because we all know that I think way too much. I just keep telling myself though that I made my life how it is. And the only way for it to get better is for me to get better so that what I am watching happen to my family will never happen to me. Course it would have to have certain elements to get like that, and those elements may never exist. I knwo this is really vague, but I know what I am talking about and I just wanted to write a little. Again, there is very few who read it, really only one occasional reader I think. So it doesnt really matter if any outside perosn cant understand anything.