I am a Self-Righteous Bitch...
So only people who are my "friends" are allowed to comment on my journals. Why? Because this isn't an open forum for how people feel about me and what I do or don't do. This is a place for me to voice my opionions and get some clarity on the craziness that is going on in my head. However, LJ has this new service, when people leave comments on your page you can save 'em even if they won't get published. So I'm looking through some old blogs and see the following:
I left out one thing
joy_n_smiles 2005-10-26 10:40 pm UTC (from 128.125.61.127) You're also a self-righteous bitch.
This was in response to an old blog, where I commented upon my ability to be cold blooded in certain situations. What is so funny about this, is that if I would have read this back in October, I would've tracked down this person and have a discussion with them...I would've been heated to think that someone would say this about me. However, I see satan working in people and I now know to not care about what people (especially scared b*tches who don't even leave their real names) have to say about me. But more improtantly, I am fully aware of my faults as a woman and although I am a work in progress, I know I have offended too many people to not have some consequences of those actions laying around. So once again, I'm able to see the work that God had done with me because rather then get upset, I just praise God that someone thinks i'm so worthy of their time that they would create a whole fake journal just to comment upon what i'm doing and saying. It's flattering, and it makes me realize how much my actions (negative or positive) affect others. I just never realized it was that serious....but for whoever "Joy n Smiles" is, I guess it was.
Reading over this blog has given me another revelation, that no matter how much I am so "over" someone, that at some point I do regret decisions that I make in those tense and toxic situations. In particular, I have been shown the error of my ways in a past conflict with a very good friend. I didn't say anything crude or inappropiate about her, but rather I told her I was no longer interested in pursuing anything with her. I was too through... emotionally, mentally, and physically. I need to know that someone will not disrespect me just because they're angry, because I tend to not take well to that (see my last post), but also because I don't treat other people that way. Honestly, I don't...well not until the offense has occured and then it's open season. Anywho, post undergrad my tolerance for all of that ish is so low especially when it's greek related, so I flipped out and detached myself from the situation. But I regret that now, I really do...because I alienated someone really imporant to me. I always thought you get to choose your friends, but it's not true... because we didn't choose one another, but we made it work and have been through the most and I just can't leave that behind. So I'm now trying to figure it out, what I can do to show how sorry I am. I realize we may not always like one another, and that's cool with me...but there is too much love there to not care. Anywho, to quote "Joy N Smiles", I am a self righteous bitch... I know what I want, I know what I like and I know what I don't care for and have no qualms in letting it be known. But from this point forward, please...if you have something to say just leave your name and number. I will be more than happy to get get back to you!
I left out one thing
joy_n_smiles 2005-10-26 10:40 pm UTC (from 128.125.61.127) You're also a self-righteous bitch.
This was in response to an old blog, where I commented upon my ability to be cold blooded in certain situations. What is so funny about this, is that if I would have read this back in October, I would've tracked down this person and have a discussion with them...I would've been heated to think that someone would say this about me. However, I see satan working in people and I now know to not care about what people (especially scared b*tches who don't even leave their real names) have to say about me. But more improtantly, I am fully aware of my faults as a woman and although I am a work in progress, I know I have offended too many people to not have some consequences of those actions laying around. So once again, I'm able to see the work that God had done with me because rather then get upset, I just praise God that someone thinks i'm so worthy of their time that they would create a whole fake journal just to comment upon what i'm doing and saying. It's flattering, and it makes me realize how much my actions (negative or positive) affect others. I just never realized it was that serious....but for whoever "Joy n Smiles" is, I guess it was.
Reading over this blog has given me another revelation, that no matter how much I am so "over" someone, that at some point I do regret decisions that I make in those tense and toxic situations. In particular, I have been shown the error of my ways in a past conflict with a very good friend. I didn't say anything crude or inappropiate about her, but rather I told her I was no longer interested in pursuing anything with her. I was too through... emotionally, mentally, and physically. I need to know that someone will not disrespect me just because they're angry, because I tend to not take well to that (see my last post), but also because I don't treat other people that way. Honestly, I don't...well not until the offense has occured and then it's open season. Anywho, post undergrad my tolerance for all of that ish is so low especially when it's greek related, so I flipped out and detached myself from the situation. But I regret that now, I really do...because I alienated someone really imporant to me. I always thought you get to choose your friends, but it's not true... because we didn't choose one another, but we made it work and have been through the most and I just can't leave that behind. So I'm now trying to figure it out, what I can do to show how sorry I am. I realize we may not always like one another, and that's cool with me...but there is too much love there to not care. Anywho, to quote "Joy N Smiles", I am a self righteous bitch... I know what I want, I know what I like and I know what I don't care for and have no qualms in letting it be known. But from this point forward, please...if you have something to say just leave your name and number. I will be more than happy to get get back to you!