From Yesterday...
My weekend no longer begins on Thursday and so, my weekends are unproductive and far too short for me to recover from a full week of work. The joys of being an adult, and it seems I rushed to get here and now... I would rather turn the clock back a bit. I almost cried at work last week, but I didn't allow myself the pleasure of weeping while on the job because I hate when people do things at work that make you uncomfortable, ya know? Like talk about personal dramas or anything that just puts me in an awkard position. But I was gonna cry because 1) I got off work waaaaaaaaaay late on Friday when I wanted to leave early, 2) My boss almost yelled at me for being late on a project (which I ended up finishing early), and 3) Reading emails for Kelly, Kari, and Kia (wow....KKK) made me miss them more than I know how to say. Kia is the only one I could probably arrange to see soon, because we live in the same state at least. But Kelly is in the boonies of Pennsylvania and Kari is in South Africa, which I am so jealous of. VERY jealous, but happy that at least my favorite girl is living it up. Her adventures in South Africa got me thinking about a few things, some are very un-PC and un-Christianlike, which I may or may not discuss at this time. But mostly, her adventures in South Africa remind me not to get comfortable with my current employment/ living situation because I must travel and live abroad next year. MUST!!! I will also settle for pursing some form of acting down south or in NYC or working for the UN or something fabalous and amazing like that.... but that's all second to living, traveling and working abroad. Now that i've found an apartment, and finished most of my furniture shopping, I can start to focus on my future propsects post San Francisco. However this is a daunting task being that my interest are way too varied to focus on one particular thing, so I think I'm going to focus on a little bit of everything...we shall see how that works out. I've started making some lists of things I want to accomplish by next year some time, and places I wnat to visit or work at within that same time frame. Now I just need to work out a plan of action and start doing things...which is the hardest part for me.
I'm using some ppl I know through work and church to help motivate me...not actually by telling them I need motivation, but oberseving them and their lives. For example, I know a 27 year old who is sort of doing similar work and things, and I dunno... I don't want to be 27, living here, working in a job and not my career, with no serious relationship.... the list goes on. It's a huge fear of mine, being passed up by everyone else or just not going for the very things I have dreamed of doing. I don't want to be fighting the same battles I fought in high school or even in college, I want... no I need to rise above that and do better for myself. I say all this now and yet I know that on a bad day (which I have from time to time) I will say something else, but this is an okay day and yeah dats dat.
I'm using some ppl I know through work and church to help motivate me...not actually by telling them I need motivation, but oberseving them and their lives. For example, I know a 27 year old who is sort of doing similar work and things, and I dunno... I don't want to be 27, living here, working in a job and not my career, with no serious relationship.... the list goes on. It's a huge fear of mine, being passed up by everyone else or just not going for the very things I have dreamed of doing. I don't want to be fighting the same battles I fought in high school or even in college, I want... no I need to rise above that and do better for myself. I say all this now and yet I know that on a bad day (which I have from time to time) I will say something else, but this is an okay day and yeah dats dat.